Willa came back with the children and Del came to help. The aroma of trin and toasted bread filled the room, and there were the sounds of the family at the table, Del's low murmur hushing the children so that Carlana and Rimon could rest.
And then Willa's blurred but recognizable words: "No, no, Jana!"
Del said, "Jana, don't take Willa's—" He broke off and added hoarsely, "—oh—my—God!"
Rimon sat up, staring in the direction of the table. Kadi knelt beside him. "Don't worry, Rimon—Del wouldn't– Willa's all right."
"Del—" He looked at Kadi then, and forced himself to look away from her, to the group around the table.
Del was staring at Willa as she traded little pieces of honeyed toast with Jana and Owen, getting the sticky honey all over the table and their clothing. Del's face was pale. As they watched, he turned to meet their eyes.
Rimon looked up at Del, and said, "I didn't know. I didn't know it would happen like that. Please believe me, Del, when I asked you to come along out here—I didn't know what I was doing."
"None of us did. How could we?"
"It's all my fault! Everyone I touch—you, and Billy, Carlana, Abel, Drust, Vee—but most of all you, Kadi. Oh, why do I have to love you so? It's going to kill you!" Del didn't understand Rimon's outburst. , Rimon just shook his head, his eyes locked with Del's. "Willa can talk—just like Billy." Del came over to Rimon, nodding, and Rimon continued. "Every time, Del—every single time you zlin a Pen Gen you'll be zlinning Billy. How many more times can you do it, Del?" Del just shook his head.
"So I've killed you, too. And Carlana—she doesn't know Willa can talk yet, but what will she—and Fort Freedom—make of that? And you, Kadi—I've killed you—because I couldn't learn control and when you die, I can't live."
"Rimon, you've just proved you can take selyn from any Gen, use any Gen as you use me. So I'm going to live, and so is the baby."
He said bitterly, "You're still a child! I never gave you a chance to grow up—before we made love—oh, Kadi, that was so wrong. Dad always waited a year before breeding a female Gen—"
"I am not one of your father's breeding Gens!"
"No! Oh, no, you're not that—but physically, Kadi, you weren't ready. I forced myself on you—and then didn't even watch for your fertility. Every time we had transfer, I lost control completely—like an animal in rut!" His eyes flashed to Del. "That's not normal any more than complete impotence is! Is that the kind of life you want, Del?"
"Rimon!" Kadi interrupted. "Don't say such things! You'll feel differently as soon as we can have transfer."
"We won't," be said desperately. "I see it now—oh, I see it all now. Why didn't he tell me? Why? Because you're just a Gen?"
"Who?" asked Del.
"Dad," said Rimon. "Zlin her," he said with a commanding gesture of one tentacle. "Zlin how the baby is draining her." He turned to Kadi, infinitely relieved to say it aloud. "I've killed you as surely as if I'd drained away your selyn that day at the border. My child is draining you—oh, why didn't I think? Farris men kill their women. My mother died giving birth to me. Zeth's mother died at his birth– you remember, that's why he came to live with us after Uncle Ryin died. Grandpa died when I was seven—but where was Grandma? She must have died at Ryin's birth."
"You don't know that, Rimon."
"Why don't they remarry? Dad, Grandpa, Uncle Ryin– none of them ever took a second wife. Why? Farrises are rich—I've even been told we're attractive to women."
"You are," Kadi said. "You're also faithful."
"No. I see it now. Carrying a Farris baby drains a woman—the way you're being drained, Kadi. They couldn't watch that happen more than once—so they didn't remarry."
"Maybe," said Kadi, "Farris men are really meant to marry Gens who can manufacture enough selyn to bear their children. Didn't you say my selyn production is going up as the baby drains it away? How can you be sure I won't be able to match the baby's drain—after all, I've matched your demand, and you're no baby." She moved over to hug him close. "Don't you know by now, Rimon Farris. that we were made for each other?"
Chapter Fifteen
HORNET'S NEST
It was three days before Rimon and Kadi could leave Del's home. By then Carlana was up and around, physically healed but still emotionally unsettled. Despite his approaching need, Rimon felt more stable now than he ever had before. Willa watched him, but didn't remain glued to his side.
To the children's delight, Willa's vocabulary increased rapidly. Soon she had garnered enough words to ask Kadi, "Why Carlana hurt?"
"She doesn't hurt anymore, Willa. She's going to be fine."
"No, no. In there." She pointed to the bedroom. "Why?" She rubbed her abdomen. "Why hurt?"
"She lost her baby, Willa."
"Baby?" Willa looked over at Jana with a puzzled frown. Clearly, she could make no connection between what she had seen Carlana go through and the little girl who had been used to teach her the word "baby."
Kadi tried, with words and gestures, to explain that babies grew inside their mothers. When she had Willa thoroughly confused, Carlana came to her rescue with a few well-chosen words. Afterwards, though, Kadi had to hold Carlana for nearly half an hour while the older woman cried helplessly. It was after Kadi left Carlana napping that Rimon realized he had felt sympathy, not jealousy, at the touch of another Sime on Kadi.
A few days after they got home, Rimon took transfer from Willa again, using her to balance his fields afterwards. He knew it bothered Kadi, not to help him at all, so as soon as he had thanked Willa and sent her to make tea, he put his arms around Kadi and said, "You know Willa can't satisfy me the way you can, Kadi. Even though she's improving, look how short my cycle is—and it will be shorter still, because I'm taking her before she reaches full capacity each month."
"You'll have to have another Gen. You'll be able to alternate them," she said bleakly.
"No, I'll have to get along with only Willa until the tax collector finds his way through the snow. Then—you're right. I'll have to claim another Gen, and hope to find a way to pay the tax on her by the end of the next quarter."
"On him," insisted Kadi desolately. "Now that Willa is thinking and talking," she went on, "I think she can handle herself. We can watch them—there's certainly no privacy here as long as it's too cold to be outdoors!"
"Spring will come—and I don't think Willa understands much about sex. We treat her like a child, but a male Gen from the Pens" wouldn't."
"All the more reason to get one now. Rimon—don't you realize that Willa is in love with you already?"
"You're not serious!" Is that what's bothering her?
"Right now it's a brotherly sort of thing, but if she doesn't have someone else to be attracted to when she's ready for romantic love, she's going to be badly hurt when you can't respond."
"But she's still just a child. I think you're blinded by your own lovely madness. Of course, I'm delighted that, you're in love with me, but that shouldn't make you think that other women would be!"
Two weeks later, however, they found that Kadi was at least partly right. They went over to Fort Freedom, where Willa's progress was shaking the foundations of many people's faith. As she learned and understood more, Willa's nager was assuming the characteristics that Abel Veritt had for twenty years associated with the "soul." This revelation increased the determination at Fort Freedom to learn not to kill—but the result was only more and more gaunt and haggard people suffering guilt after every kill.
That afternoon, Rimon and Jord were to teach the changeover class in the chapel while Kadi and Willa visited with Abel Veritt and his wife. When Rimon and Jord got up to leave for their class, Abel said, quietly, "Something has happened to you, Rimon."