"I know you won't," he replied, "but I can't protect you —or you either, Jon—the way Rimon does. Pain raises intil. I could turn on either one of you."
"For transfer?" asked Willa. "Why not?"
Jord looked from Rimon to Kadi and back. "When are you going to tell her?"
Willa stared at him—and the question finally came. "Why don't you have your own Gens? Or Mr. Veritt or the others? Rimon has Kadi and Jon and me. Why don't you have Gens to live with you and make you feel good?"
Jord stared at her helplessly.
"Tell her, Jord," Kadi said.
He looked at her protestingly, and then at Rimon. He nodded and pulled his chair up before Jord and Willa, in range to interfere should Willa become frightened. "Willa is a grown-up girl now. She has to learn to live in the grown-up world."
Willa straightened proudly, aware of something important about to happen to her. Jord acknowledged Rimon's precaution with an embarrassed smile. Then Willa said, "Tell me, Jord, why don't you have Gens living with you? Why did Jon leave Fort Freedom instead of living with you?"
"Jord licked his lips. "Because, Willa, we kill Gens. No other Sime in all the world—can take transfer the way Rimon does, without killing."
Willa frowned. "Killing? You say that all the time. What does it mean?"
"The Gens—die," said Jord.
Death Willa knew. She understood that Carlana's baby had died, as had a baby bird she had found fallen out of the nest. "But—why? Die from transfer? I don't understand."
"Neither do I, child," Jord said sadly. "It should be possible for any Sime to do what Rimon does—and yet we can't, no matter how we try. The Gen becomes frightened —and—"
Willa turned to Rimon. "When Carlana lost her baby, I got scared. And you—"
"Lost control," he said tightly.
"But—you went to Kadi, not me. I remember—I didn't understand except that Kadi was scared."
"And you saved her life, Willa, and probably mine."
"I hurt you."
"Willa, you couldn't hurt a Sime," said Jord.
"No, I hurt Rimon," she said. "I'll show you—but I won't hurt you." She quickly slid her hands into transfer position on Jord's arms. Rimon started to protest, but was caught in the sympathetic backwash as Jord gave a yelp of pure pain. Willa let go, putting her hands on Jord's shoulders, soothing him. Kadi reached out to Rimon as well.
"I'm sorry," said Willa, "I didn't know you'd pull away. Rimon says never—ever—do that to him. I didn't mean to hurt!"
But Jord's eyes were filled with tears—of pain, and something else. "Child—what have you discovered in all your innocence? God be praised, Rimon, why didn't you tell us this?"
"Because—it doesn't seem much of an improvement to trade the death of a Sime for the death of a Gen. Suppose Drust Fenell had known this—or found it by accident as Willa did? He must have panicked when Vee tried to take transfer—and if he'd known how to injure her lateral nerves, she'd have been lucky to die immediately of the shock. Otherwise she'd die a slow, agonizing death because she couldn't take another kill. I saw an injury like that once. I hope I never have to see it again!"
"But Rimon, if a Gen knew he was safe, that he could stop the Sime if he felt pain—then he wouldn't feel fear!"
"That fear is not rational. Jon, you remember your first transfer?"
"I was scared silly," Jon admitted. "And I knew Rimon doesn't kill. But that didn't help. Rimon didn't hurt me– but Jord, if I'd tried it with Mom or Dad, and they did hurt me? If I—If I—" He couldn't even say it, staring down at his hands. "Oh, God, now that I know what I can do, I couldn't touch another Sime—especially not somebody I love."
"I will do it," said Willa.
"Do what?" asked Kadi.
"I will teach Jord."
"Willa, you don't understand," said Jord.
"I do, I do!" she insisted. "After Kadi has her baby, Rimon won't need me anymore. Then I will give you transfer, Jord. I've never been scared of transfer."
"Child, you don't understand what we've been talking about. Rimon, tell her you won't allow it!"
Kadi interposed. "Willa, you like Jord, don't you?"
"Yes," the girl replied.
"Do you understand that every time he has ever taken transfer, the Gen has died?"
Jord tensed, but Willa said, "Yes, because they were scared. But," she said, looking at Jord, "you don't want them to die."
Intense with desire, not denial, Jord said, "Rimon, tell her it's too dangerous!"
"I think Willa understands what she's offering, Jord. If she's willing, I have no right to stop her."
"I shall consult with my father," said Jord. "We'll pray together for guidance. Willa, child, you can't possibly know how much I want to accept your offer—but I'm afraid."
When Jord had gone, Kadi told Rimon, "Willa suddenly grew up today."
"She did indeed. I wish I knew the right thing to do. I was zlinning her, Kadi. I think she really does understand that she could die. I think it's truly a considered, adult decision, in which you and I have no right to interfere, But—"
"But if something goes wrong, we're going to feel responsible," Kadi said. "We'll think she was still the child Jord calls her, and that we should have forbid her to try it."
"Yet if we never let her try, we're thwarting one possible way for other Simes to learn not to kill."
As the heat of summer set in, Kadi was more and more tired. Finally it seemed that she did nothing but eat and sleep as the days passed, until she woke up one dawn in pain. Fear stabbed through her. bringing Rimon running to her side.
She didn't have to control her fear, though, for it disappeared when Rimon said, "It's only a contraction, Kadi! It's time!"
She gave a weak laugh, relief sweeping through her. Rimon said, "I'll send Jon for the Veritts. Mrs. Veritt's helped with most of the births at Fort Freedom, Jord can help me support your field, and Abel—well, you know Abel would never forgive us if the baby were born without him here."
As Rimon moved, she said, "Don't let Jon go through town alone. There's time. That was only the first contraction strong enough to wake me up."
"Rest now," he said, kissing her forehead. "You'll require your strength later."
Chapter Seventeen
MIRACLE
As Kadi slept, Rimon worried. Her field was as low now as it had ever been after transfer, and the worst drain was yet to come. He knew what could happen; he had seen it on the Genfarm. Occasionally a female Gen had symptoms like Kadi's, entered labor with a low-field, and was totally drained before she could expel the child. Usually they lost both mother and child.
Once in a while, after the mother was dead, they had cut a living child from her body. Syrus Farris had always taken special care of such infants, saying they were likely to be Sime, but Rimon could remember only one that lived more than a few days in the nursery—and she had been only two years old when Rimon and Kadi left. But his father's beliefs came not from a single instance, but from generations of experience passed from father to son.
To me, thought Rimon. And what good is all the Farris wisdom now? He sat beside Kadi, trying to encourage her body to produce more selyn, and wondering where her strength came from when her field responded—again.
It was more than half an hour before a second contraction brought Kadi awake again. She smiled at Rimon when it ended, and took his hands. "It won't be long now," she said, and he realized she didn't know how much time had passed.
He forced a reassuring smile. "We'll soon get to meet our son," he agreed. "Do you feel strong enough to let us get you ready?"