The baby stirred, and opened his eyes for a moment– black eyes, like Rimon's startlingly dark for a newborn. The dark fuzz on the tiny head made him already seem like a Farris. His tiny mouth worked, and he squirmed and began to cry fitfully.
"He's hungry," Mrs. Veritt said. "I think Kadi can feed him once she's rested—but don't worry, Rimon. I asked Mrs. Ennis not to wean her baby yet, in case you require a wet nurse."
And you were prepared in case she died, Rimon thought, but he only said, "Thank you. And thank you for being here today. All of you."
"You did everything that saved your wife and your son," said Abel. "I've never seen anything like it—a Sime– giving selyn to a Gen? That's how it appeared to me. Both Kadi and your son were dying, Rimon. I was praying for a miracle—and you performed one!"
Rimon didn't feel much like a miracle worker. The headache was beginning to pound and spread from the back of his head down through his arms to his laterals, then back up into his already burning chest, where the waves of pain met and clashed under his breast-bone. The tenuous balance he'd been holding over his fields dissolved into vibrating chaos. He wanted to turn to Kadi, as always, but be dared not disturb her rest.
"Here, Rimon," said Mrs. Veritt, gathering the baby away from his arms. "You'll crush him. What's the matter?"
"Willa!" called Abel, urgently. "Help Rimon."
Instantly, Willa appeared and, sitting on the edge of the bed, pried Rimon's arms from clutching across his chest. She slid her hands down his arms into transfer position, her field steady, self-assured; he could rest against it, damp the oscillations until the whanging pain let up. This was worse than he'd ever had before. But eventually, the pain subsided to a sick ache. "Thank you, Willa," he murmured, falling back on the pillows.
"Tea now?" Willa asked.
"Tea won't help this," he said, and frowned. "Fosebine might. And it would certainly help Kadi."
"Fosebine?" asked Jord.
Fort Freedom. At the oddest moments, the gulf yawned between these people and everything Rimon had ever known. "It's a medicine—a mild pain reliever most people don't use because it tastes so bad it's easier to endure the pain. They used to force it on me—after a kill—and when I didn't vomit it up, it helped sometimes when I felt like this."
"Where would we get this—medicine?"
"Oh—nowadays, lots of Pens use it. Slina probably keeps some around."
"I'll go ask Slina," said Jord, and left quickly.
Rimon thought—I've hurt Kadi. What if she learns to fear the pain? Oh, God, what have I done?
As Jord's nager faded, Rimon realized that something had been bothering him. Jon should have been with Jord. Rimon zlinned the house and grounds outside, finding no sign of Jon. "Abel, where's Jon? Why isn't he helping Jord?"
"He's probably across the border by now," said Abel.
"What happened!"
"I'm not blaming Jord," said Abel. "He had to leave himself vulnerable to assist you. But he was depending on Jon, and—"
"What happened," demanded Rimon.
Willa answered, "Jon got scared and that made Jord want him, and that scared Jon more and poor Jord—"
Abel said, "He attacked Jon, but Willa intervened and Jon ran. I don't know where he went—we were too busy to—"
Rimon sat up, swinging his feet to the floor, trying to balance his head carefully on his shoulders. "We've got to search for Jon. God alone knows what he's going through!" But the pain was so great, Rimon couldn't zlin his hand in front of his face, let alone run around searching for a Gen.
"Rimon, get back on that bed," said Mrs. Veritt. "You're—"
"I'm responsible for him!" said Rimon. "Suppose the border patrol catches him—he doesn't have his tags—"
"He knows the way across," said Abel.
Before Rimon could answer, Mrs. Veritt said, "Willa, help Rimon sleep now. He feels very bad, and Jord has gone to bring medicine. Help Rimon now, all right?"
Rimon let them put him to. sleep, admitting that he simply couldn't move. It was Kadi's pain that woke him,—a searing flame in every nerve. Desperately, he shut out her pain.
–his own was bad enough. He had to stay hypoconscious to avoid hers, and that just made his worse—but he resolved to endure it in silence. Kadi had endured far more.
Mrs. Veritt lifted Kadi and held a cup to her lips. "This will make you feel better."
She took a breath and gulped the vile-tasting stuff down. It did ease her pain. Then Mrs. Veritt asked, "Rimon, can you drink this down now?"
Rimon thought of the taste and his unsteady stomach and wanted to say no, but he had to try something. Abel was standing just outside the front door with Jord, scanning the night. They hadn't sent anyone after Jon. "I'll try," said Rimon, taking the cup from her hands.
Taking a deep breath, he gulped it down, and the fosebine immediately spread a soothing warmth through his aching nerves. "I guess it's going to stay down," he said, handing the cup back.
Kadi turned to him. "Rimon. Our baby!"
Rimon said, "He's fine, and beautiful, too."
"He's sleeping," said Mrs. Veritt. "Let him rest until you're strong enough to feed him, Kadi."
"Yes," she whispered. "I remember, I saw him. But– Rimon—what did you do to me?"
"He saved your life," answered Abel quickly, coming in from the night.
Kadi was assembling the fragmented memories of the past day, and arrived at the pain. "Shidoni, Rimon—you hurt me!"
"I didn't know it would hurt, Kadi—I felt you dying, and I just took a desperate chance. I'm so sorry I hurt you—"
She met his eyes, and rubbing her arms absently, she said, "Well—we lived through it, and now we have our son, and everything is all right."
It was full dark outside, with no moon. Willa was clearing the table after a meal, but water was boiling for fresh tea. "Kadi," she said, "I have your soup. Rimon, will you eat some, too?"
He was surprised at how good the idea sounded, how Kadi's sudden appetite was getting to him. "Yes, Willa– thank you."
He looked at the cradle. He couldn't see his son, but he could zlin the completely normal childish nager. It's real.
"Where's Jon?" Kadi asked.
From where he was sitting in Kadi's rocking chair, staring into the fire, Abel told her what had happened. Jord stood by the window, staring out into the night, defeated.
"Rimon tried to go after him," said Mrs. Veritt. "But he simply could not. I'm sure God will take care of Jon. He's a good boy."
"No," said Willa unexpectedly. "It was all Jon's fault. Jon is a bad boy." She went over to Jord and put a hand on his wrist. "Jord is good. Jon is bad. Jon was afraid."
Mrs. Veritt took the abandoned soup bowls from the table and brought them to Kadi and Rimon. Rimon watched Willa, amazed. She had never asserted herself like this before.
Jord said, "Jon was afraid of exactly what happened– that the pain in this room would cause one of us to turn on him. It makes sense to be afraid of what's bound to hurt you."
"I don't know a lot yet," said Willa, "but I know it wasn't Kadi's pain that made you turn on Jon. Jon made you do it. It was his own fault."
Abel Veritt came up behind Jord and put his arm around his shoulders. "Son, if it were the pain and lack of control on your part, Willa couldn't have brought you out of it."
"What exactly did she do?" asked Rimon.
"What she's doing right now," said Jord. "I could let her do that forever. It's addictive, you know."