“Why didn’t you?” Jane asked.
“Because I’m a fool. Because I didn’t think you would understand. I knew you had appearances and work, and I didn’t… I couldn’t tell you about Dad over the phone, and I didn’t think you would just drop everything and fly out to California because I asked you.”
Jane locked eyes with him. “If you had called and told me you needed me, I would have come. Nothing would have kept me away.”
“I know,” Charles said as he kissed her lightly and pressed his forehead against hers. “I’m a fool, Jane. I’m so sorry. I should have told you.”
Jane found that once she had loosed her emotions, she couldn’t hold them back. “What happened when you came back?”
Charles gave a bitter snort. “You mean when I sunk from fool to moron? I was miserable. I just needed to see you. I don’t know why, but I went to the party and I got drunk. I hated myself and my life and I couldn’t take it anymore, so I got blotto.”
“What about the picture?”
“What picture?” he asked, genuinely confused.
“There was a picture of you in the paper with that girl,” Jane explained, her voice carefully neutral.
“Really?” Charles asked. He shrugged. “I had no idea.” Then he looked at her as a thought passed over him. “You didn’t think that I…?”
Jane shook her head. “I didn’t know what to think, Charles. From your phone calls, I thought you wanted to break up with me.”
“No! Jane, never!” He sighed and dropped his head, “Christ, when I think about what I said over the phone. Oh, Jane, I can see where you would get that idea. I’m so sorry. I had no idea. I didn’t know about the picture and I didn’t know that you were in the theater when I sang ‘It’s All a Joke.’ I was hung over and had sat around waiting for too long, and when Will suggested it, I thought it was just to piss off the MTV people. I had no idea, really.”
Jane believed him. He was holding nothing back, either verbally or emotionally. She moved back, out of his arms, and tried to make sense of her thoughts and feelings. This new information did explain many things, but still, she had been hurt deeply by him. She still wasn’t sure if she could trust in him.
Charles watched her pull away. He understood. “I don’t blame you, Jane. I’m very sorry. I made the biggest mistake of my life, but please believe me when I tell you I do love you, and I’m sorry.”
He stood up and moved to the doorway. “Thank you for letting me explain everything, Jane. I hope you will forgive me someday.” He left then, with a nod to Elizabeth, let himself out the front door, and walked to his black Denali. His limbs felt shaky, like he had just run a mile. He leaned against the SUV as he opened the door and let the July heat escape. He had done it. He had apologized to Jane, but he found that he completely agreed with her. He wasn’t good enough for her and he didn’t deserve her forgiveness.
Jane sat perfectly still, trying to understand what had happened, when an icy coldness hit her. Charles, who had brought warmth and love to her, was leaving, and all she had when he was gone was pain. She got up and ran.
He was swinging himself up into his seat when she burst out the door. “Wait!” she yelled as she ran barefoot to him. Charles was back on the ground when she reached him and flung herself into his arms. “Don’t go,” she cried, as she buried her face into his T-shirt. “Please don’t go.”
“Jane?” he asked, his heart in his throat.
“I know! I know, but when you held me, I felt better than I had in weeks.” Her words tumbled out in a rush. “And then you went away, and all the hurt came back.” She looked up to him, her eyes brimming with tears. “I need you, Charles,” she admitted brokenly. “I need you and I don’t know what to do.”
Charles found himself comforting her, his emotions spun out of control. He rubbed his cheek against her soft blonde hair as her hands clenched in his shirt and she sobbed convulsively.
“Let’s go back into the house,” he said with far more confidence than he felt. Holding each other, they got through the door and as far as the entryway before they stopped and just held each other tightly, their bodies taking mute reassurance from the presence of the other.
Charles pulled himself together first. He gently eased Jane’s face up to his and kissed her tear-stained cheeks. “It’s going to be okay, Jane. We’re going to be okay.”
Jane listened for a second to Charles’s heartbeat pounding against her own chest. It comforted her. Just the return of his scent to her nose eased some of the pain she carried. She opened her eyes and looked at him worriedly. “But there are so many things to work out,” she sighed. “And what about the others? Char and Lizzy?”
Charles kissed her forehead gently. “I know,” he said softly. “It’s a lot.”
“I just wish we could go away together for a while, just you and me.”
Charles looked at her and smiled, his thoughts quickly falling into order. “Why can’t we, angel?”
“But,” Jane murmured, puzzled, her soft mouth left open in confusion.
“I’m sure Lizzy can handle things here, right, Lizzy?” Charles looked up to see Elizabeth exactly where he knew she would be, watching from the end of the hall. He smiled to her.
Elizabeth smiled back. “He’s right, Jane. You go with Charles. I’ll take care of things here.”
Jane looked at Elizabeth and smiled gratefully. “Thank you, Lizzy.” Turning to Charles, she said, “Okay, I’ll go pack.” She hurried up the stairs, leaving Charles alone.
He pulled out his cell phone and dialed his home number and waited for his sister to pick up. “It’s me. I need you to find a place for Jane and me to be alone for a few days.”
“I take it things worked out?” Caroline sounded pleased.
“Well, let’s just say we are in the process of working things out.” He looked down and grinned. “But things are looking good.”
“Where do you want to be?” Caroline asked.
“I don’t care, just someplace nice and close.”
“Okay, I’ll get you something.”
Asking her to call him back, Charles hung up just as Jane was coming down the stairs.
“Will you be all right?” Elizabeth asked her, appearing again from the family room.
Jane felt an odd sensation of dreaminess. She had no idea what was going to happen, but she knew these next few hours were going to affect her for the rest of her life. She looked at Charles, who held her hand, and then back to Elizabeth. “I think so. Thank you.” She hugged her sister, who hugged her back.
“Call me,” Elizabeth said in farewell.
Jane nodded and walked out the door with Charles. He helped her into the passenger side of the SUV and stored her bag in the back before taking his place in the driver’s seat. He put the keys in the ignition, then stopped and looked at her, as if he suddenly couldn’t believe it was real.
Jane looked at him and took his hand. “I do love you, Charles,” she said simply, her smile radiant.
Charles planted a quick, earnest kiss on her lips and started up the Denali. Jane didn’t know where they were going or what was going to happen, but she had her trust back, and that was enough.
Chapter 16
Elizabeth heard her aunt calling to her to pick up the phone. Glancing at the clock, she smiled in anticipation. “Hello?” she sang happily into the phone.
“Lizzy!”
It was not Jane as she expected. Quickly shifting mental gears, Elizabeth replied to her best friend.
“Char! How are you?”
“I’m good, how are you? Have those little monsters made you crazy yet?”
Elizabeth laughed and spent a few minutes talking about the Gardiners.
“So, I was wondering how’s Jane doing? She seemed pretty upset last time I saw her.”
Pleased to have good news for once, Elizabeth announced excitedly, “Oh Char! She made up with Charles!”