As she appraised my work as if it were a painting she was thinking of buying, her smile got wider and wider. ‘It fits like Spanx.’
‘We’ll get his girlfriend to bring him some clothes.’
‘Have you heard from her?’
‘No. I have her cell number but she didn’t answer.’
‘That doesn’t sound good.’
‘It sure doesn’t. But for right now let’s get him comfortable.’
Jane grabbed the pillows from the other bed so we could prop him up. I tugged his black boots with the tall heels on them. They also had lifts. He didn’t screw around when it came to making himself taller. Then came his jeans. He was in red boxer shorts and white socks. Those stayed on. We covered him up right away so he wouldn’t get cold. There was a knock on the door.
‘I’ll get it.’
I was accompanied by my Glock. The shooting and the tracking device had changed everything. I eased open the door by inches. A young woman in a red blazer, white blouse and black skirt — the hotel’s uniform — stood there with a blanket in her hands. The electric one. I had to take it with one hand. I kept my other one, the one with the Glock, behind my back. ‘Thank you very much.’
When I got back to the bed Jane was talking to him. ‘Are you comfortable?’
He sounded drunk. ‘I told her but she wouldn’t listen.’
Jane put her hand to his forehead. ‘He feels a little cold. Are you cold?’
‘Am I... cold?’
His eyes were open but I didn’t think his eyes and mind were forming a coherent picture of Jane. ‘Sleep...’
‘All right. That’s a good idea. Can you hear me?’
‘Hear... you?’ The round face with the small, perfect nose was blanched white from the physical shock. The eyes tried to focus on Jane but I don’t think they succeeded. ‘I warned her...’
‘You sleep now. If you want anything we’re right here. You’ll feel better in the morning and we’ll get you a very nice breakfast.’
He said something I didn’t understand and then his chunky body rolled over on its side. He yawned, and then he farted, and then rested like some machine that had abruptly run out of power. His breathing was ragged but steady.
She touched a finger to her lips and then led me over to the window where a small couch awaited. The midnight city was painted on the glass. Lights of red and green and yellow and white; the part of the main drag that passed through the downtown area still busy; the college toward the east lit from below; several large housing developments divided by a mall and other shopping areas; and the pulsing lights of the distant airport.
‘I love this old town,’ she said.
‘You’d never move?’
‘Probably not. I’m sort of a hometown girl and I know that probably sounds ridiculous. This isn’t exactly a cultural center.’
‘Neither are big cities except in certain places. They’re just a lot of small towns sharing the same turf.’
She slid her arm through mine. Then kissed me on the cheek. ‘I’ve never thought of big cities that way before. Or if I have I’ve forgotten it. Or maybe I’m such a hayseed I’m easily impressed by obvious ideas.’
‘Well, if it’s obvious ideas you want, baby, you’ve come to the right place.’
An easy-going laugh. ‘Oh, God — I didn’t mean it that way. I’m so sorry.’
‘I know. I was just kidding you.’
‘I hate to interrupt this fascinating conversation, but can I have some water here? You may not have noticed, but I’m dehydrated.’
Less than two minutes ago he’d looked unconscious. Now he was not only awake, he was his usual spoiled-brat insulting self, and being ridiculous on top of it.
I walked back to him and pointed to the pitcher on the nightstand. ‘Jane thought of everything. Believe it or not, we’re trying to keep you comfortable.’
‘Only because you think I’m going to rat some people out for you.’
I lifted the pitcher and picked up an empty glass. ‘True enough, Howie. Otherwise I’d throw this in your face.’
‘Huh-uh,’ Ruskin said.
‘Huh-uh what?’
‘Huh-uh, I don’t want you to handle the water. I want her to.’
She stood next to me now. ‘I told her you’d try and put the moves on her.’
‘Normally I’d try but in case you haven’t noticed I came close to dying a couple of hours ago and I’m kind of laid up as a result.’
‘“Close to dying,”’ I mumbled as I handed Jane the empty glass.
‘I heard that,’ Howie said. ‘You ever think that maybe I have a heart condition and that the trauma of being shot might kill me?’
‘You have a heart condition like I have this big eye on the back of my head.’
‘I saw that episode of The Twilight Zone, too,’ Ruskin said. ‘That big eye was pretty cool.’
‘Now you just lie back and I’ll pour you some water,’ Jane said. The maternal softness of her voice would have struck me as endearingly sweet if it hadn’t been wasted on a slug like ‘Howie’ Howard Ruskin.
Around dawn — my travel alarm clock said 5:30 a.m. — I was awakened by a strange voice intruding on a dream that vanished instantly.
‘You bastard. Wake up and help me, Conrad.’
My brain slipped from Park into Drive. Ruskin. Summoning me. I sat up, nudging against the Glock I’d kept next to me.
‘You’re supposed to be watching over me, remember, asshole?’
Good to know he was still as obnoxious as ever. I swung around and sat on the edge of my bed in my boxers. ‘Oh. Right. What’s going on?’
‘I need to piss but every time I try to sit up I get dizzy. So I need some help to get to the john.’
‘All right. Just a second.’
As I came around the far side of his bed to help him he said, ‘You didn’t plank her. I sure as hell would’ve.’
‘What the hell’re you talking about?’
‘The chick. That lady lawyer. I woulda banged her.’
‘You were supposed to be unconscious.’
‘Oh, right. It was in my contract. I was supposed to be unconscious while you and the lady lawyer got to second base. A guy as old as you are, second base is pretty pathetic.’
‘Good to know you’re back to normal.’
‘Some of the dialogue was pretty corny, let me tell you.’
‘We’ll work on it for the next time.’
By now I was easing him out of the bed. Well, not exactly easing. In fact, I pretty much tore him out of the bed and he yelped when I did it.
‘Hey, asshole, take it easy. I’m wounded, remember? Just because you couldn’t close the deal with the chick, don’t take it out on me.’
Funny, I was under the impression I’d more than closed the deal. When everything was wrapped up here she was going to visit me for a three-day weekend in Chicago. I wasn’t about to sully my anticipation of that by sharing it with him.
‘Somebody’s trying to kill you, Ruskin. I’d be more concerned with that than with my love life.’
His hyena laugh. ‘Man, you don’t got no love life. Not from what I heard last night. You don’t know jack about chicks.’
I shoved him into the john and pulled the door shut.
‘Hey, easy, man!’
I walked over to the nightstand between the beds, picked up the remote and clicked on the tube.
The supposedly liberal channel had a talking head who said — the newsreader said this was a sound bite from yesterday — ‘Right now, we have to face the facts. A senator on our side is not only fighting for his political life. He’s fighting the suspicion that he may have murdered his mistress.’ The man speaking was a rough-hewn fifty with gray hair and a pockmarked face. He was a reporter for a large Midwestern daily and was usually able to use facts to argue our case. But now he was calling Tracy Cabot Robert’s ‘mistress’ and in so doing sounded as if he was auditioning for a slot on Empire News.