"Julie?" Matt caught the door as she swung it open.She whipped around. "What? What is it, Matt?" she snapped. "If you have something to say, then say it. If you want to help, help. If not, stay out of it."
"I just wanted to say thank you," he said softly."Oh." He wasn't being horrible right now. "Don't thank me yet."
"Thank you for trying."Julie looked up at him. "Sure thing."
"Do you want me to drive? The roads aren't great," he offered."Are you going to behave yourself, or are you going to pitch a fit every time I put something in the shopping cart."Matt smirked. "I will make a concerted effort to behave. Will that do?"
"No grumbling, no frowning, no disapproving gestures or words of any kind. In fact, no talking at all."
"Do you know how many times you've told me to stop talking today?"
"Do you know how many more times I could have told you that?"
"Do you want me to drive or not?"
"I do. I'm a big wimp. You be in charge of driving, and I'll be in charge of shopping."
"Blech. What stereotyped gender roles we've fallen into," Matt said, feigning horror. "The man drives, and the woman - "
"Have you already forgotten the no-talking rule?" Julie marched down the steps. "Let's go, smartass."Matt bowed formally and waved her through the door. She could tell it was killing him, but he kept his mouth shut the entire ride. He didn't cringe once while she shopped, and he even bagged the items at the self-checkout.It had started to snow a bit by the time they left, and Julie shivered as she waited for Matt to unlock the door. It took a few tries to start the car, and then they sat for a few minutes, waiting for the heat system to kick in.Julie took a deep breath. "Why didn't you tell me about Erin?"Matt fumbled with the radio. "Tell you what?"
"About her depression. Finn told me."Matt winced. "Look, I don't want to do this now." He turned the dial quickly, filling the car with static noise and commercial clips."Matt."
"Julie, not now."
"OK." She leaned back into the headrest and pulled her coat in tightly around her body. "Maybe sometime?"
"You can't let anything go, can you?"
"Come on! It'd be great." She slapped his arm lightly. "We could sit around and have a long, drawn-out conversation about your mother and the impact her depression had on the dynamics of the family. Then you can pour your heart out about your angst-ridden childhood, and we'd analyze every minute nuance of your personality."At least he was smiling now. "That sounds like torture."
"Really? You don't want to bare your soul to me? Cry a little? Catharsis at its finest?"
"Intro to Psych has gotten out of hand, I see."
"I need to practice. You don't want me to fail my class, do you?"
"If it means avoiding that nauseating conversation, then, yes. I'll tolerate your failing a class."Julie slapped his arm again. "Jerk."
Chapter 18
Matthew Watkins is brought to you today by the Second Law of Thermodynamics and the letter Qua.
Finn is God I put my pants on one leg at a time, just like everyone else. It's the way I take them OFF that makes me better than you.
Julie Seagle Why is luge a sport? You dress up like a giant sperm and go sledding really fast. That's hardly athletic. Phallic and sexy, yes. But hardly athletic.
"Julie! Julie!" Celeste's voice carried from the second floor down to the kitchen.Julie calmly took another bite of cereal and set her phone on the table. She was exhausted, having stayed up until nearly three in the morning IMing with Finn, but she'd gone ahead with her plan for the day anyway. There was no sense in waiting any longer."Julie!" Celeste stomped down the stairs, and Julie tried not to flinch as she heard her enter the room."Yes? What is it?" She kept her eyes on the newsprint."I do not find this amusing."
"You don't find what amusing? The fact that you avoid using contractions when you get worked up?"
"Julie, I would like you to take this seriously. I have concerns about your flippant tone. Your behavior is unnerving."Julie finally looked up. Celeste stood beside Flat Finn, and while his expression hadn't changed, she wore a decidedly irked expression. "Which behavior would that be?"
"You've affixed this unfunny note to Flat Finn's mouth. As though he is expressing a thought."
"He thinks it's funny."
"He is not a cartoon, and we find it disrespectful."
"He doesn't find it disrespectful."
"How do you know what Flat Finn thinks?" Celeste demanded."I spend quite a bit of time with him, in case you hadn't noticed. I can sense these things."Celeste frowned and examined the bubble-style note written on bright yellow paper that was stuck by Flat Finn's mouth. "I do not even understand what this note is supposed to mean. I seek a flexibility transformation!!!"
"He's rather stiff, don't you think? I suspect Flat Finn would appreciate not having his head smacked against the trunk of the car every time he has to go in or out. And perhaps he'd like to sit in a chair properly without having to lean at sharp angles." Julie shrugged and looked back at her newspaper. "He's crying out for help, and I think we should give it to him. He's been suffering in silence for too long now, aching to be bendy and to conform to standard furniture. Plus, I think he wants to take a Pilates class."
"There is that flippant tone again," Celeste said. "Although you might have a point. However, you could have conveyed your enthusiasm for this idea with the use of only one exclamation point. Three is overkill. What would this flexibility transformation involve?"As Julie outlined the idea, Celeste stared back, expressionless."I will consider this option and get back to you." Celeste proudly raised Flat Finn off the floor and marched out of the room."Take your time," Julie murmured. "There's only a lifetime of good mental health at stake here."