Nausea?
Finn is God
That's not an emotion! But, yes, nausea.
"Miss? Boston Fire Department here. We'll have you out in about thirty minutes. You hangin' in there?" a gruff voice asked her.
"Take your time," Julie called out, as she continued staring at the small screen in her hands.
"Julie, did you hear that?" Seth asked. "Only thirty minutes. I know it sounds like forever, but it'll go by fast. Is my singing helping? It should at least be making you laugh."
"Knock it off with the singing!" one of the firemen ordered. "Miss, even though there will be a bit of banging going on, you're perfectly safe. We'll get you out just fine."
"No rush," Julie muttered.
Julie Seagle
Then what?
Finn is God
Your mind is racing. Did you remember to turn off the oven at home? Your car needs an oil change. You're out of shampoo. Why do washing machines eat socks? Do they taste good? Should you try eating socks? You wonder if you should back out, if this was a mistake. You didn't tell anyone that you were jumping today, and now what if you die? You worry that you'll forget what to do, that you won't remember when to pull the chute. I show you the altimeter. The plane is only halfway up to where we need to be, and it already feels so high. But you're not in any danger.
A loud thud sounded and the elevator shook. Then metallic noises echoed throughout the chamber. Julie squeezed her eyes shut and couldn't stop the whimpering sound she made.
Julie Seagle
Finn, I'm scared. The elevator is shaking.
Finn is God
I know you are, but I've got you. You're not in the elevator, remember? You're with me. I stand you up and try to push your body away from mine, reminding you that you are tightly strapped to me, and that I won't let anything happen. It's my job to control our jump and my job to pull the chute if you don't. You're safe. Tell me that you trust me.
Julie Seagle
I trust you.
Finn is God
We're high enough now, and one of the instructors opens the door, sending a powerful rush of air into the cabin. Your heart nearly stops when I start to walk you to the edge. As much as you're terrified, you're also starting to feel the rush, the thrill you get from being on the brink.
The noise from above continued, but Julie barely noticed. The only thing she could pay attention to, the only thing she cared about right now, was what Finn was writing her.
Finn is God
We're at 15,000 feet now, and when you look down at the ground, you immediately try to step away from the door. You want to bail on this. I back you up, and we let someone else jump first. I put my arms around your waist and pull you in, holding you, letting you know I'm with you. I tell you that you can do this, that you're strong enough and brave enough. I tell you that you can do anything. So you nod and agree to jump.
We move to the edge of the plane again and pause. You cross your arms over your chest and lean your head back into me like I told you. I start to rock us back and forth, getting us ready to jump. And then we go.
Julie's pounding heart and the fact that she was sweating no longer had anything to do with the elevator situation.
Julie Seagle
How do I feel when we jump?
Finn is God
The minute we hit the air, you are surprisingly relaxed. All of your problems seem to go away. Your stomach doesn't drop. There's no falling sensation. It's just freeing. It's as close to flying as you'll ever get. A calm like you've never known before, and you don't want it to end.
Finn is God
So we freefall like this for 5,000 feet. We don't want it to stop. We want to feel like this forever, lost in this experience. This is why people pull their chutes late, because freefalling is like a drug.
Julie Seagle
Or something else, I'm guessing.
Finn is God
Yes, or something else. They do call it an "airgasm" for a reason...
Julie Seagle
I can see why. But we have to pull the chute.
Finn is God
Yes, we have to pull the chute. So I do it. And it jerks us back - hard - but then we're falling smoothly, softer than before, easily. We're drifting together. It's quieter now, and you can hear my voice.
Julie Seagle
And what do you say to me?
Suddenly the elevator kicked into gear and descended half a floor.
Julie Seagle
Shit. The elevator is working now.
Finn is God
That's good news!
Julie Seagle
Right now it doesn't feel like it. I'll find you later.
The doors creaked open. From her spot on the dirty floor, Julie stared at the small crowd that faced her. Seth looked jubilant and the firefighters pleased with their quick success. Julie was nonetheless annoyed.
"Aren't you going to get up?" Seth asked, as he stepped forward. "Are you hurt?" He knelt down in front of her and put his hand on her knee. "Julie? You're all sweaty and flushed."