"I'm fine. Really." She took his hand in hers and smiled. He really was cute, and sweet, and funny. There was nothing not to like about him. In fact, she suddenly liked him - needed him - more than ever. She leaned in and whispered, "We have to get up to your apartment. Now."
Seth looked her in the eyes and nodded.They quickly thanked the people who had freed her and hurried to the stairwell. Seth practically yanked her up the stairs until they reached his landing. He turned and pulled her into him, pressing his lips to hers and sliding his tongue into her mouth. Julie kissed him back, hard, and they fumbled down the hallway to his door, nearly falling into the living room. He backed her against the wall and slid his hands over the front of her shirt, his fingers digging into her skin, pulling her in closer. Then Julie's hands were in his hair, and she pulled her mouth from his, gasping for air. She closed her eyes and felt his lips move to her neck, his breath hot and ragged, making her lost and dizzy.His touch was so urgent and heated, and the way he kissed her confident and intense. She hadn't been wanted like this before. Jared had been so fumbling and inept, and she didn't have much experience with anyone else.She wondered what Finn would be like. What would it feel like to kiss him? What would he taste like? Would his hands be gentle? Would he go slowly, smoothly, take his time? How would he sound if she ran her fingers over his arm, up his biceps, down his chest, moving lower? Would their bodies fit together perfectly, molding into each other as they kissed desperately?Julie opened her eyes. Oh, no. Oh, no. This was so screwed up.She took her hands from the back of Seth's neck and touched his cheek. "Seth?"
"Julie," he murmured, moving to kiss her mouth again."Seth. I'm sorry," she whispered in disbelief. She dropped her head to his shoulders. "I'm so sorry."
"Wait, what?" He took a small step back. "What's wrong?"
"I can't..." She took a deep breath. "I can't do this."
"Too much?" he asked. "We've been together a while. I thought you wanted to. You seemed so into everything. It's OK, though."
"No, it's not OK. You're so great. You're wonderful. There's no reason that I shouldn't want this."
Seth took another step back. "But you don't want this, do you?"
She shook her head. Julie hated how hurt he looked. She didn't know what to say. "My head is not where it should be. I'm not feeling what I should be. What I wish I were."
He was quiet for a minute. "I pretty much knew that," he admitted. Seth took her hand in his and looked down. "I don't think you've ever been as into us as I have. Is there someone else?"
Julie felt her eyes tear up, and she hesitated before answering him. "I think there might be."
Chapter 20
Julie pulled the car into the Watkins' driveway and turned off the engine. She checked her phone again. Nothing else from Finn.She called Dana."What the hell are you doing calling me from your hot and steamy date? Why are you not rolling around in Seth's bed? Oh, ew! You better not be calling me from his bed," Dana warned."No." Julie sniffed. "But thank you for implying that I'd do something so creepy. I'm at home."
"What? What are you talking about?"
"Seth and I broke up." Seth had been undeniably understanding about things. If it's not there, it's not there, he'd said. But she still felt rotten."Julie! What is going on?" Dana demanded.Julie dropped back against the headrest and looked at herself in the rearview mirror. "I think I'm in love with somebody that I've never met."
"Explain."
"I met him online."
"That's disgusting. You've been frequenting online dating sites? Do you know how many people lie on those things? Oh, man, you didn't go to Craigslist, did you? After your apartment experience, I'd have thought you knew better. Wait a minute. You met him on Facebook, didn't you? That's gross."
"Now that you mention it, I guess I kind of did meet him on Facebook. It's the guy whose room I've been staying in. Finn. We've been talking online for months."
"Oh, my God, this is so exciting! And so dirty and wrong! Is he hot? You haven't met him yet? When is he coming home? Did you tell Seth about him?" Dana threw questions at her left and right."I don't know when he's coming home. Possibly in the next few weeks for Christmas, but I'm going to be with my father in California then. Hopefully we'll overlap a bit. If pictures say anything, then yes, he's super hot. Gorgeous. Illegally attractive. Seth guessed there was someone else, but I didn't tell him who. It sounds ridiculous."
"And does Finn like you? I mean, loooove you? Are you seriously in love with him?" Julie guessed Dana was jumping out of her seat by now."Of course I'm not really in love with him. I don't even know him." Except that she did know him. At least, she felt like she did. Like she had known him forever. "I have no idea what Finn thinks about me. He'd probably think I'm a lunatic if he overheard this conversation."
"Or he'd be flattered beyond belief that you've fallen for his daily love letters," Dana shrieked. "Months of wooing you online have paid off."
"He's hardly been wooing me. And no love letters." Julie sighed. Although those would be fun. "And I don't hear from him every day. Sometimes he's in remote areas of the world where he can't get online. I don't know. This whole thing is idiotic. I'm idiotic."
"No, it's romantic. You've made an emotional connection that's not based on superficial, daily BS."
"Is that your official psychological interpretation?"
"Yes. Now this is all lovely, and I'm thrilled for you, but this raises an important issue for me."
"What's that?"
"Finn has a brother, right? At MIT?"
"Yeah. Matt. So what?"
"Set me up. You've never let me in the house for some stupid reason, but Matt obviously comes from good genes if the parents produced such an online hottie."Julie laughed. "You don't want to go out with Matt. Trust me. He's not your type. And he looks nothing like Finn. Besides, what about Jamie? I thought you two were still together?"