Julie-I hope this message goes through. I keep falling off the network here. Thinking about you, too, and miss you. (Is that weird? How can I miss you? But I do.)I'm not going to make it to Boston this month. I'll explain later. I'm so sorry. I don't know what to say.Glad you're still awake, because I have a surprise for you. I know it won't make up for my not being there, but it's all I could think to do:Go into the living room.-Finn
She liked that he missed her. She liked it a lot. But she didn't like that he wasn't coming home.Grouchy, but curious to see what Finn was talking about, she walked quietly down the stairs so that she didn't wake anyone, and tiptoed to the living room. Please let the surprise not be another Flat Finn, she thought. That would be super creepy. Just as she entered the room, she stopped, taking in the scene before her.All the house lights in here were off, but the room positively glowed. The entire ceiling had been covered in small white lights, and the tree was decorated with real candles. Green garlands with more lights had been tied to the mantel above the fireplace with small red ribbons running throughout the display. Matt stood on a step stool by the tree, lighting the candlewicks on the very top. It was just how she had described her house in Ohio to Finn. Actually, it was better.
"It's beautiful," she said.
Matt startled and wavered dangerously on the step stool. "God, Julie. You scared me to death!"
She laughed. "I'm sorry. I just got a message from Finn, and he told me to come down here." She walked forward and lightly touched one of the branches. "It looks amazing."
Matt lit the last candle and stepped down. "Don't blame me if the house catches fire. This is all Finn's idea. He said it would make you happy?"
Julie nodded, swallowing hard, as she slowly spun around. "It does make me happy." She stopped and turned to Matt. "You did all this for me? I mean, Finn asked you to do this?"
Matt stuck his hands in his pockets and looked at the ceiling of lights. "He sent me a list of instructions and included detailed threats of bodily harm if I didn't follow his demands to the letter. I think I got it all." Matt moved to the coffee table where his laptop sat idling. He glanced at the screen and shut the lid. "Yes, OK. Now we're supposed to lie under the tree. That does not sound traditional, but he said you would understand?" Matt looked doubtfully at her.
"I do understand. Come on!" She grabbed Matt's hand and pulled him down to the floor with her. "I do this every year. You'll like it."
"Finn owes me," he muttered, as he followed Julie and lay down on his back to slide under the lower branches. "Ow! If I lose an eye for this, then I expect a massively expensive Christmas present from you both to compensate me for my troubles. Like a bedazzled eye patch or something."
"You have to go slow, silly. Don't fling yourself into the tree. Ease your way underneath. There. See?"Julie looked up through the branches to see the shadows and highlights that the candlelight created. In this small, private space, things were quiet and safe. The same way Finn had written about skydiving; the real world was gone. It was like when Julie was a kid, and she'd hang her blanket from the top bunk, making the lower bunk into a cozy cave. She did that a lot after her dad left."Actually, this is sort of... nice," Matt said.She turned to him. "I've never done this with anyone before. It's always just me."
"Oh. I thought I was supposed to stay here and do whatever it is we're supposed to do under the tree. Do you want me to go?"
"No, stay!" She grabbed his arm again. "I like the company."Matt looked at her with amusement. "OK. So what do we do?"
"We think about profound things."
"Ah. Philosophical ponderings and questions? I'll go first. Prove to me that you are not a figment of my imagination."
"Very funny."
"Am I in a computer simulation? Does the door swing both ways? How can something come from nothing? How do you know a line is straight?'
"Matt, stop it!" Julie laughed."If animals wanted to be eaten, would it be OK? If time stopped then started again, would we even know about it? What happens when you get scared half to death twice? What is creationism? What is ethical?"
"What is driving me crazy?" Julie asked, still giggling."No, who is driving you crazy?" Matt corrected her, smiling. "But fine. If you don't like my line of deep thinking, then you lead the way."Julie paused. "Now it all seems silly and juvenile."
"Tell me anyway."
"It's just... Well, every year I lie under the tree, and... I don't know. Assess my life. Get into a sort of dream state and see where my thoughts lead me."Matt crossed his long legs and rested his hands on his stomach. "I understand what you mean. Why don't you close your eyes?"
"You close your eyes, too."
"OK."Julie looked at Matt and waited. "You go first."
"No, you go first."
"We'll do it at the same time. I don't want to lie here with you watching me. Ready? Three, two, one, go." Julie shut her eyes. "Now we wait and see what comes to us."
Even with her eyes shut, the light from the candles flickered in her vision, bringing blurry, hazy images into her thoughts. She couldn't believe Finn had arranged this. It's almost like he was here with her, lying next to her. He had wanted to give her something special, and he had. What would happen when they meet? Julie wondered. What if there wasn't that same chemistry - that same draw - that they had now? But she knew there would be. Some feelings just had to be trusted. So she let her mind wander, picturing what things might be like when he was back in Boston.She'd move out of the house at some point, obviously. Maybe get her own apartment? Maybe Finn would get his own place, too? He could take her to his favorite spots in the city, and she could hear more details about his trips. She could tell him about her classes and college life and also drag him to Dunkin' Donuts for Coolattas. He'd probably like them more than Matt. She and Finn could take Celeste to the Museum of Fine Art, and there would be no need to bring Flat Finn with them because Celeste would be whole again. Or closer to whole.And then that nagging question hit Julie again: What had happened to Celeste to cause her to withdraw from the real world?Julie turned her head to the side and opened her eyes. Matt was looking at her.