"I told you not to watch me," she whispered.
"I couldn't help it," he whispered back.He was quiet for a moment, and she wondered what he'd been thinking about. He was probably breaking down a boring math theory. That is not what he was supposed to be doing now."Julie?"
"Yeah, Matt?"
He waited for a moment. "It's like we're free - "
"Oh my God!" Julie said, cutting him off. "I totally forgot to ask you."
"Um... Ask me what?"
"My friend Dana wants you to call her."
"That's not asking me anything."
"Stop correcting me. She wants to go out with you, you dork!"
"Oh." Matt groaned and turned his head away. "I don't know about that."
"Matty, come on. You never go out!" Julie pleaded. "She's really cool. You'd like Dana."
"I'll think about it. How's that?" he offered."Have you ever had a girlfriend?"
Matt shot her a dirty look. "Of course I've had a girlfriend. What kind of question is that?"
Julie shrugged. "I don't know. You never mention anyone."
"I will admit that the romantic area of my life has been slow recently. I simply don't have time to go out with anyone right now. You know what my schedule is like with school and with Celeste."
"So you haven't dated since... you know? Celeste. The Flat Finn stuff."
"Not much. I had a pretty serious girlfriend, but then..." Matt faltered. He was serious now, his face tense and uncomfortable. "Things changed around here."
"With Celeste?"Matt nodded.Julie thought about her talk with Professor Cooley. "When something happened?"Matt nodded again."I'm sorry," Julie said. "Because whatever it is, I can tell that you're dealing with it, too. Maybe someday you'll want to tell me about it."
"Maybe someday," Matt agreed. "And my girlfriend at the time wasn't interested in staying together. Not everyone can tolerate my life. This house."
"I love Celeste, but she's hurting you, isn't she?"
"Don't say that. I would sell my soul for my sister."
"I know you would." Julie knew she had to be careful here, or Matt would shut down again. "But you must be angry with Finn for leaving. For making whatever happened to Celeste worse."
"I am angry at Finn."
"He has a right to his life, Matt."
"Believe me, I know he does."
"Do you two usually get along?"
"We used to. And then... we didn't. Mostly because of the issues with my mother, he was always the hero. That wasn't easy for me, I guess."
"Celeste thinks you're a hero. Don't you see how she looks at you? She adores you."
"Not the way she adores Finn. It's different. I do the boring stuff. I get her to school, feed her, help her with homework, worry about her. I'm no Finn, that's for sure. He's never given a crap about real life. He cares about fun and horsing around. When my mother was away - that's what we call it, away - Finn entertained Celeste, got her laughing, made her wild and free like him. I took care of what needed to be done, and he got all the credit. That's how it's always been."
"You don't sound like you like Finn all that much."
"On the contrary. He's incredible. He's vivacious and relaxed and unrestrained. Finn gets to do everything I don't, and I envy him."
"So Celeste used to be more like Finn?" Julie asked."She did," Matt said softly."I think she's doing better, don't you? A little bit? She pitched a fit because I couldn't find the second season of Glee the other day. I think that's a good sign."
"What is Glee?"
"Don't worry about it. It's a good thing. And she's asking for trendy clothes for Christmas and wants me to take her shopping, too."
"So she's becoming devoid of individuality? Exactly what I hoped for."
"Shut up. These are good things. Flat Finn is getting another round of hinges in a few weeks. Celeste gave me the go-ahead. Matty, don't you see how much she needs to fit in and needs friends? Can you imagine how desperately lonely she must be?"
"I can." Matt sighed. "You're probably better for her than I am."
"But you do really important stuff. She needs someone like you to take care of her. Your mother is...having a hard time, too, I think."Matt nodded. "I know. She is having a horrible time. Both my parents are. Why do you think she and my father are out of the house so much? They can't stand to be here." Matt ran his hands through his hair. "Julie, I'm tired. I don't want to be Celeste's parent. I can't."Neither of them said anything for a few minutes.Finally Julie spoke. "Gee, this lying under the tree routine is really turning out to be fun, isn't it? Aren't you glad you're here?"
"It has exceeded my expectations."
"OK, let's talk about girls again."
"You're interested in girls? I had no idea. I thought you were dating that Seth character."
"You're a riot, Matt. Really. And for your information, Seth and I broke up."
"I didn't know."
"I've moved on. Sort of. I don't know what's going on. I have a crush."Matt rolled his eyes. "Let me guess. My brother?"
"How did you know?" Julie was surprised."Let's see? Could it be the way you go on and on about how fabulously interesting and entertaining he is? How you check your phone for mail every three minutes? Surreptitious, you're not."