He checked his e-mail and found a message from Julie telling Finn that Celeste loved her barrette. And that she was exhausted from being up so late the night before. Matt smiled softly. Yes, it had been about three a.m. when he’d finally shut down the computer. He couldn’t believe how long they talked. Her message also said that she would look for him on chat later tonight. Meaning, Matt noted, that she was planning on coming home. The posing-as-Finn thing was a little awkward, obviously, but he and Julie seemed to have found a comfortable online friendship that worked for them both. It really wasn’t much different than the other online communications he had. Or not entirely different. But it wasn’t as though Julie told Finn everything, either. She had never mentioned Seth at all.
Matt sent a quick Finn reply, knowing full well that Julie was probably not checking out e-mails while on a date.
Yet a minute later, a chat message from Julie popped up.
Julie Seagle
Am flipping stuck in an elevator. Alone. Miserable. Help is on the way supposedly, but I am not enjoying this experience. Starting to seriously panic. Sweating, shakes, visions of brutal death.
This wasn’t good. Julie could not be in good shape. Matt had seen what the escalator ride had done to her, and the idea that she was dangling in a steel box however many stories up was probably not going over well. And there was no one there to catch her this time. A little humor seemed in order.
Finn is God
What??? Oh, no! Do not panic. Have you forgotten that I am a superhero?
Julie Seagle
I had forgotten! Feel totally safe now. Okay, you fly under the elevator and lift me up to safety. Ready? Go!
Finn is God
Unfortunately my flying powers were deactivated because I abused my superhero status. Apologies. I have other powers, though, that will get you through this.
Julie Seagle
Give it your best shot. Convince me that I’m not a million feet in the air.
Matt thought back to the first time that he stood at the edge of an open door as an airplane held him thousands of feet in the air, poised above certain death. Terror didn’t quite capture it. The safety of his training and the emergency backup chute did little to reassure him. There were a few minutes when Matt was so frozen with fear that he couldn’t even back out of jumping. Yet he wanted to jump more than anything. And Finn was there, so high on what they were about to do, so revved up with an energy and fearlessness that Matt wanted desperately for himself. Denial was impossible in those circumstances, so he took another approach. One that might help Julie now.
Finn is God
You can’t pretend you are not up high, because you are.
Julie Seagle
These are delightful powers you have. Thank you so much. I feel a million times better.
Finn is God
Accept that you’re up high and embrace it. Take control. It’s like when I go skydiving. I don’t actually love heights. It scares the hell out of me to be in that plane, looking down at the ground. But I jump through that fear and turn it into euphoria.
Julie Seagle
I would never in a million years go skydiving.
Matt hesitated before typing.
Finn is God
What if I took you?
Julie Seagle
I’d still be jumping out of a plane alone, just like I’m alone in this stupid elevator.
Finn is God
You wouldn’t be alone. I’d take you tandem, so you’d be strapped to me. We’d jump together.
Julie Seagle
How would that work?
Now that he had raised this idea, he realized describing it might carry a certain connotation that may not go over well. A risky connotation. But it wasn’t Matt’s fault. It’s not as though he invented tandem skydiving so that he would one day be able describe it to a girl stuck in a broken elevator.
Finn is God
You’d be in front of me, your back pressed into my chest.
He waited. Matt looked away from the screen for a minute, listening to the music that was filling his room. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw the image on the screen move.
Julie Seagle
That part doesn’t sound so awful.
The tension that he was holding rushed from his body.
Finn is God
No. It doesn’t sound so awful, does it?
Julie Seagle
So then tell me more.
Finn is God
Okay. Pretend we’re going right now. Ready?
Julie Seagle
Ready.
Finn is God
We’re in the plane, and it’s loud and cold. You see duct tape over parts of the interior of the plane and wonder if jumping is the worst idea you’ve ever had, but I tell you you’ll be fine. We both have on the full skydiving suits, helmets, goggles, chutes. The suit is tight, and it gives you the illusion of being safe, secure. You’re full of mixed emotions. Pride, anxiety, exuberance, terror.
Julie Seagle
Nausea?
Matt smiled. Even when Julie was scared, she was cute.
Finn is God
That’s not an emotion! But, yes, nausea.
Julie Seagle
Then what?
Matt had started this without thinking, and without understanding what he was doing, but she was responding. So the only thing to do was continue.
Finn is God
Your mind is racing. Did you remember to turn off the oven at home? Your car needs an oil change. You’re out of shampoo. Why do washing machines eat socks? Do they taste good? Should you try eating socks? You wonder if you should back out, if this was a mistake. You didn’t tell anyone that you were jumping today, and now what if you die? You worry that you’ll forget what to do, that you won’t remember when to pull the chute. I show you the altimeter. The plane is only halfway up to where we need to be, and it already feels so high. But you’re not in any danger.
Julie Seagle
Finn, I’m scared. The elevator is shaking.
Matt didn’t like this. Elevators got jammed all the time, especially in older apartment buildings, which is likely where Seth lived. The elevator was probably shaking because the fire department was there banging around, and he bet that the vibrations and the metallic noise were increasing Julie’s panic, but that she was not actually in any true danger. Rational thinking, however, wasn’t erasing his concern for how she must be feeling. He wanted her to feel safe.