Julie lowered her voice to a whisper. “I’m a virgin.”
“Oh my God, Julie, I’m hanging up now.” Why in the world was she telling him this? This felt really inappropriate. Except… Matt couldn’t deny a stupid level of relief. He assumed that she'd been with Seth, if not somebody before that, and he had hated thinking about what she'd been doing every time that she'd gone out with Seth for the night. Learning that they’d broken up had given him an embarrassingly good feeling. It’s not as though he, or “Finn” for that matter, had any right to expect her not to have a love life. He just didn’t like it.
“I’m serious,” she continued, undeterred. “This is important. I’m a freshman in college. How can I still be a virgin, huh? Nobody else is a virgin. Nobody else in the whole world. What about you? You can’t be. I mean, you had that girlfriend and everything. And you’re old.”
“Thank you.”
“Well, not old. But older than I am. So you definitely can’t be a virgin, right? Tell me. You’ve had sex, right?”
“I don’t think we should be talking about this.”
“Come on! Don’t be such a baby. It’s a perfectly normal question.”
Matt rolled onto his back and tucked his hand under his head. She probably wouldn’t even remember this conversation, so what the hell. “Fine. Yes, I’ve had sex.”
“I knew it!” she yelled with a level of satisfaction that he found somehow flattering. “Have you had a lot of sex?”
Matt laughed. “I suppose it depends how you define a lot.”
“That means you have! Man, at the rate I’m going, I’m never going to have sex.”
“Are you in a big rush?” The thought of Julie being careless with herself and her body didn’t sit well. Even though she hadn’t slept with Seth, what if she ran off and slept with someone from school just to get it over with? That wouldn’t be right. It shouldn’t be something to just hurry up and cross off a list. He knew the pressure, especially in college, not to be a virgin, but Julie should have better than some meaningless one-night stand with a random guy. Julie deserved respect, and love, and care. Tenderness. She should be with someone who would make her first time amazing. Someone who would make her feel absolutely perfect emotionally and physically. Who would take his time with her body, finding out what she liked .…
Of course, Matt was sort of going off the rails here. Getting protective over Julie wasn’t his place. And she may be drunk right now, but Julie wouldn’t make a wrong decision when she did decide to have sex. Behind the haze of alcohol was an incredibly smart person who would find a guy who loved her with everything he had. A non-geeky guy who hadn’t developed a split personality.
“Why wouldn’t I be? Everyone says sex is great. It is, isn’t it?”
“I don’t know that I qualify as an expert, but, yes, it can be great. If you’re with the right person.” Matt was silent for a moment. There were a few times when he was with Ellen that had felt right—really right—but now he wondered. What he thought had been so good maybe wasn’t what it could be. Or should be. Maybe it had just been that Ellen had been his first, and the two of them had certainly taken every opportunity to rip each other’s clothes off, but… that didn’t necessarily make sex magical. It just meant that they’d been horny teenagers. He had cared about her a lot, but those feelings didn’t compare to what he was feeling these days. Or what he was fighting not to feel.
“So you and Seth never…?” Matt couldn’t help it. He had to confirm this.
“Ha! I knew you'd want to talk about this stuff! No, we never did. I didn’t want to. Seth was cute and nice and perfect and all that, but I didn’t want to. He just wasn’t the guy, you know? I want the guy. The everything guy. Not the dumb Prince Charming, nauseatingly-perfect-everything guy. That’s pathetic. I want the flaws-and-all, everything guy.”
Matt was indeed not a Prince Charming kind of a guy, but he was pretty sure that “flaws-and-all” did not include pretending to be your dead brother and seducing a girl via e-mails and chats. Still, one never knew…. “You’ll find him. Not when you’re drunk and slurring, but you’ll find him.” Julie deserved this guy who she was drunkenly dreaming about. He sounded a lot better than Matt.
“Hey, they’re counting down to midnight. In stupid New York where all the stupid cool people are. Let’s count together.”
She must have Times Square on her television. Matt wasn’t sure what she had against all of New York, but if this countdown meant that she would get to sleep and start the recovery process, he was all for it. She was going to feel wretched in the morning. “Tell me when.”
“Seven, six…” she said, and Matt started to count with her. “Five, four, three, two, one!”
He heard cheering and music in the background. “Happy New Year, Julie.”
“Happy New Year, Matty.” It was quiet. “Matty, I have another question for you.”
“Uh-oh.”
“Are you a skilled lover?” The seriousness of her tone was beyond words.
“And that concludes our evening chat.”
“I bet I could be a skilled lover. I’m very energetic. And a quick learner.”
He really couldn’t take this. The last thing he needed was Julie’s oversharing about her sexual potential contributing to fantasies that he was already routinely pushing away. “You definitely need to go to sleep.”
“Oh, fine. I can’t stay on the phone anymore. I have to get to sleep.”
“I think that's a good plan. I’m glad you thought of it.”
“I like talking to you,” Julie mumbled.
He smiled again. That simple phrase meant the world to him, whether she meant it or not. This entire conversation was likely to fall into the wasteland of forgotten drunk memories. Which was probably a good thing. “I like talking to you too. Most of the time. I'll see you when you get back.”
“G’night, Matty.”
He hung up the phone and set it on the floor next to his bed. That was either the best or the worst conversation he’d ever had with a girl. It was an eerie parallel to the general Julie situation: she would either be the best or the worst girl to come into his life. He would find out. He didn’t know when, but he would find out.
The Polar Plunge
Flat-Out Love, Chapter 23, MPOV
Matt Watkins took over a year to learn how to walk after he first left the hospital. But he never lost faith in himself, even at that early age.
Finn is God You mock me for my apathetic nature, but meh.
Julie Seagle I bet the very first piñata was surprised. “Oh, hey a party! Cool! What’s the occa— HEY, WHAT THE HELL, KID?”
Matt sat up in bed, wide awake and panicked. He touched a hand to his chest. He was sweating. It was still dark out, but he knew he wouldn’t go back to sleep. Something felt wrong. He threw on sweatpants, tucked his phone into the pocket, and tiptoed into the hall. The house was quiet, and Celeste’s door was still shut, but he quietly opened it and checked on his sister. She was still asleep. But something had woken him. He crossed the hall to Julie’s room and checked in there. Matt flipped on the light. The room was empty.
Obviously it was empty. She was in California. And probably still drunk. He hoped she would sleep most of the day so that she wouldn’t have to be awake for a good portion of the nausea and headache that were bound to hit this morning. He sat down on her bed. Being in her room was comforting. And also sad. He flopped back on the bed and looked up at the ceiling.