“Matt! I can stay wherever I want to. I’m an adult.”
“You’re not acting like it.”
“Why do you care where I stay?”
“Ah, a lovers’ quarrel,” Celeste said dreamily from the back seat.
“Shut up!” Matt and Julie yelled together.
No one spoke for the rest of the ride home.
Later, when Julie had taken a long, hot shower, and Celeste was in her room, Matt was starting to relax. He really snapped at Julie on the car ride home, but now that she was safe at home, curled up in front of a blazing fire on the living room floor with her head on a pillow, he felt better.
What a morning. He still couldn’t believe that he and Celeste left the house without Flat Finn. It was quite an accomplishment, intentional or not. For Celeste, of course, but maybe for him too. He felt guilty for forgetting his sister’s flat obsession, but it was also a good thing. His neurosis about that ridiculous cardboard thing was probably as pathological as hers. Today he and Celeste were reminded that there was a world outside of Flat Finn in which other things—other people—took precedence. Matt poked at the fire, sending flames shooting up. Good. He wanted the hottest fire possible.
He listened while Julie explained about her father canceling their trip and how she was too embarrassed to tell him. As much as Matt wanted to rip off her father’s head for what he’d done to his daughter, he contained his anger for her sake. Julie nudged him about Roger and Erin leaving him and Celeste alone, but this time he didn’t mind talking about his family or his feelings. Well, not as much as he usually minded. Maybe the heat from the fire was getting to him.
“I’m sorry your parents left you here alone. That’s not very nice.”
Matt jabbed the fire with an iron poker. “No, it’s not very nice, is it? And I’m sorry your dad left you alone. That’s also not very nice.”
“Thanks.” Julie closed her eyes. Between last night’s alcohol and this morning’s chaos, she must be wiped out.
“Tired, huh? Why don’t you sleep for a while?”
Matt got up and pulled the curtains shut in the living room, and then he covered her with the wool blanket. Julie yawned and turned onto her side so that she was facing the fireplace. “Did you call Dana?”
“Not yet. I will.” He didn’t want to, but Julie would be relentless about this.
“Thanks for getting me, Matty. I’m sorry,” she mumbled.
“Of course. It’s not a problem.” He sat down next to her, watching her breathing begin to slow as her drowsiness took over and her eyes closed.
Even now, in front of the fire, she shivered in her sleep. Without thinking, Matt lay on his side next to her and propped himself up on one arm. For a few minutes, he just took her in. Then he scooted forward slightly, wanting to warm her with his body, wanting to be as close to her as possible, and wanting to protect her even though the danger had passed. She rolled back against him, touching her back to his chest. Slowly and gently, he ran the back of his hand over her cheek. The color had returned. She was all right.
What had today been about for her? Was she trying to prove something to Finn? To herself? That she could… what? Do something brave? Independent? Matt shook his head. Julie didn’t have to do a Polar Plunge for him to know she was brave and independent. He leaned his head in, barely touching his forehead to her cheek as he whispered the lyrics she sent to Finn this morning.
Said I’m fallin’, too cold in my town… Said I’m breathin’, but I don’t know how.
Matt closed his eyes as an understanding washed over him. He was in love.
It didn’t matter, though.
She would never see it, and she would never want him.
It had taken just four short months, and now he was painfully in love.
You got the sweetest eyes to ever look my way. Come save me… Come save me.
Matt lifted his head and looked at Julie while she slept. He pulled away, laying on his side again and resting his head in his hand. If anything had happened to her today…. Maybe he was overreacting, as Celeste had accused him. But seeing Julie out there in the strong ocean, challenging herself to battle the paralyzing cold and the unpredictable waves, had most certainly scared him. More than that, however, he was impressed with her strength. Although her father hurt her—probably more deeply than she explained to Matt—she fought to reclaim control by doing something that was likely scary for her. Her method may have been a bit extreme, and Matt was still angry and shaken up, but he still respected her for it.
For the first time he saw that she was more alone than he thought. Not the way that he was, but still…. He could see it because he knew that lonely people hide secrets more than others.
Celeste had Flat Finn to watch over her, and now Julie had Matt. At least for now. For however long she slept.
Follow the wheel that makes your heart move, ride the wave be gone. Ride the wave be gone, ride the wave be gone, ride the wave be gone….
The Sleepover
Flat-Out Love, Chapters 25/ 26, MPOV
Matt Watkins Of course I’d be happy to give you my opinion because it increases the odds of me being able to say, “I told you so” in the future.
Finn is God What's that mental disorder where you believe that you're the only real person in the world? I'm asking for an imaginary friend.
Julie Seagle says you may call it “plagiarizing from the classics,” but I call it “collaborating with the dead.” (Clearly I’m not into this mid-term project.)
Matt finally took Julie’s friend Dana out on a date. It was the only way to get Julie to stop nagging him, and the more she nagged, the more he saw how useless it was to hold out hope that she might entertain the possibility of anything between the two of them. While he had a nice enough time on the date, it wasn’t until the end of the evening that he saw what a total jackass he really was.
There was nothing wrong with Dana. She was just as great as Julie promised. Pretty, too. It was easy to keep a conversation going with her over dinner, and she made him laugh a few times. He drove her back to her apartment, parked under a streetlamp, and then he kissed her. Slowly. It wasn’t impulsive, but rather his attempt to redirect the constant ache that plagued him. He had to move on. So he kept his eyes closed while he teased her lips with his, and while he touched his tongue to hers. He missed kissing someone. He missed touch and being touched. For twenty minutes he made out with Dana, kissing her, building it slowly, until they were both heated and gasping. He put one hand on the back of her neck and let his fingers move into her hair while he drowned in her and tried to forget. His other hand slid to her back where he delicately lifted the hem of her loose blouse. He traced the line of the top her skirt with one finger, just barely touching her skin and making her pull away to gasp for air. Dana put her hands on his chest, moving over his shirt, soon digging her fingers into him. It had been way too long since anyone had touched him like this. Matt rounded his hand over the curve of her hip, softly putting the palm of his hand against her, then inched up her waist, under her shirt… and up higher, until he was cupping her breast in his hand. She kissed him harder, and Matt responded, curling his fingers around the silk at the top of her bra and ducking his touch under the fabric. Then he was pushing the straps from her shoulders. His mouth moved from hers, and soon he was kissing her neck, working his way lower.