“Mmmm.”
But it’s nerves, too, he thought. Christ. It hadn’t gone the way he’d planned. He’d planned to get her smashed, and that part of it had worked fine; she was plenty loaded. But he hadn’t planned on feeling anything. He was to play a role in the melodrama cooked up by Roland to save Dana. That’s all. Act a part. Act interested and affectionate while he plied her with fine food and plenty of booze until she was plastered mindless and totally helpless.
She’s just the way I want her, he told himself.
But I’m not.
It had started to go wrong the moment he saw her and thought, Dana never looked this good. Feeling like a traitor, he had tried to push the thought out of his mind. All through the evening, however, he compared the two and found Dana the loser. Celia was far more beautiful than Dana. She seemed to listen, to care about what he said. She wasn’t conceited. She was wittier than Dana, sometimes breaking him up, but even her sharpest remarks seemed good-humored and without the malice that made Dana’s sarcasm a little ugly. She had a warmth, a softness, that was totally alien to the other girl.
While they ate, he had found himself more and more attracted to Celia. And he felt poisoned by guilt. He was betraying Celia by using her this way; he was betraying Dana by wanting to trade her for Celia.
“That light’s…”
Red, he thought. But it was too late to stop, so he sped on through the intersection.
Celia’s hand went away from his neck. “You’d better concentrate on your driving,” she said. “If you get stopped in your condition…”
“Yeah.” For the next block, he watched the rearview.
“Are you all right?”
“Yeah.”
“Something on your mind?”
“You.”
“Me. I know, you’re overwhelmed by my cheauty and barm.”
Jason smiled. “Right, your cheauty and barm.”
“And dizzy with anticipation.”
“You’re very perceptive.”
“But what is it, really? I mean, has it got something to do with Dana?”
Jason felt a jump inside his chest.
“You two were going at it pretty hot and heavy, and suddenly she’s out of the picture and I’m in. Do you want to talk aboud…about it? I mean, this isn’t some kind of ploy to get back at her or make her jealous or something, is it?”
A ploy, all right.
He was thankful for the darkness hiding his hot face which was probably scarlet.
“It’s not that at all,” he said. “We broke up, but she didn’t dump me. I dumped her. I just couldn’t stand her any longer, she’s such a bitch. I don’t know what I ever saw in her in the first place.”
Sorry Dana, he thought.
Eat shit, he imagined her snapping. You meant every word of it. I was never anything to you but snatch. But fair’s fair, you were nothing to me but a hard cock.
He turned onto Latham Road.
“I finally realized,” he said, “that I was missing a lot. I mean, a relationship needs to be more than screwing.”
“Two entirely different things,” Celia said.
“I don’t know. I want to at least like the person I’m with, and it was getting so I didn’t even want to be around her. She was hard and crass and mean…not like you. You’re really a sweet person.”
“Yeah, I’m an angel.”
“Compared to her, you are.” So why am I taking you out there? I don’t owe Dana a damn thing. Besides, she might already be dead (I almost hope…No!) and I shouldn’t be talking about her like this, thinking about her like this—even though it’s the truth.
I’ve got to do what I can for her. I owe her that much.
It’s a stupid plan, anyway. It’ll never work.
So if nothing happens, I take Celia home and she never has to know she was bait.
And if it works, fat chance, nobody gets hurt anyway. We nail the guy, he takes us to Dana.
Takes us to her body, hanging naked from a rafter, mutilated and dead.
But nothing will happen to Celia, either way.
Take her someplace else. Forget the whole thing. A motel, maybe. That’d be nice. Don’t do this to her.
“Just up ahead,” Celia said, “is where that guy tried to run me down.”
“Do you want a look?”
She shook her head. “I don’t even like being this close. My bike’s still there. I haven’ even gone back for it.”
“Should we pick it up? We could put it in the backseat.” Say yes, he thought. We’ll get the bike, we’ll forget about the Oakwood.
“Iss too messed up. Even if it could be repaired, I wouldn’t want it anyway. I’ll ged a new one if I ever want to go riding again.”
“You sure?”
“Yeah.”
Jason slowed down, flicked the arm of the turn signal, and swung the car onto the narrow road leading to the Oakwood Inn. He looked at Celia. She was staring at him.
“Where’re we going?” she whispered.
“There’s a parking lot. It’ll be good and deserted.”
“This’s where those people got killed Thursday night.”
He nodded. “Yeah. I read about it. If you’d rather go someplace else…”
“No.” That was all she said. She didn’t explain.
“I think we won’t have to worry about being disturbed,” Jason said. “Nobody’ll come out to a place like this after what happened.”
“Maybe for the thrill.”
The road flared out. Jason steered to the right. He drove in a circle, watching his head beams sweep around the parking lot. There were no other cars. The beams met a corner of the restaurant and moved across its dark front, flashing off the windows. When they lit the door, he stopped.
“Go closer,” Celia whispered.
“Are you…? Okay.” He let the car roll forward almost to the porch stairs. Then he stopped it, turned off the engine, and set the emergency brake. He left the headlights on.
Celia leaned forward, a hand against the dash, and peered out the windshield. “Weird,” she whispered.
“What?”
“Being this close to where it happened. Get the lights, okay?”
He pushed the knob.
Celia stared through the darkness. “Think we could get in?” she asked.
So easy. She wanted to go in. Let’s do it, get it over with.
“I don’t know,” Jason muttered.
“Scared?” she asked. Her voice sounded a little shaky.
“Yeah. Aren’t you?”
She didn’t answer. She eased back into her seat. Looking at Jason, she lifted his hand and placed it on her bare thigh. “Can you feel the gooseflesh?”
He moved his hand lightly up her leg. Yes, he could feel the gooseflesh. She must’ve shaved, but the nubs of hair were standing and just a bit bristly along the top of her thigh. He curved his hand down the inner side. There, the skin was smooth, incredibly smooth and soft. The fabric brushed the edge of his palm. Another inch, he thought, maybe two…
She’ll let me, I know she will.
No. You can’t mess around with her, not if you’re going ahead with it.
So forget the plan. It’s a dumb plan.
What if Dana’s alive, maybe being kept somewhere, being raped and tortured by some maniac, and this is her only chance? You can’t just write her off.
Damn it, what’ll I do?
He took his hand away from Celia’s leg. “Yeah,” he said, “gooseflesh. Are you scared or cold?”
“I got the willies,” she said. Jason could see the white of her teeth. “You think that’s racist? The willies?”
“Why would it be racist?”
“Wasn’ Willy a black guy in the old movies, like in the thirties? He’d get in a haunted house and go all buggy-eyed and shaky?”
“Gee, I don’t know.”
“I think tha’s where the expression came from. The willies. But don’ hold me to it. Wherever it came from, I got ’em.”