She had taken advantage of the time to smooth her hair and don a fresh gown. A meal, ample for several people, was set out on the low table. Tea steamed from a flowered pot, and I smelled fresh bread and butter melting on hot porridge beside a pot of thick yellow cream.
“Come and eat,” she welcomed me. “And if you have a word left in you, tell me of what you have been through, and how it is that you and Thick have discovered such a swift way to travel.”
I realized then the depth of the Queen’s faith in me. So much had not been relayed through Nettle for the sake of keeping Chade’s secrets. Only by subtle hints had she known to expect me, and yet she had believed we would arrive. And so, as we ate, I found myself reporting to her yet again. She had always been a good listener, and over the years had been my confidante more than once. Perhaps that was why I found myself telling her far more of the truth than I had confided to anyone else. I told her of my search through the city for the Fool’s body, and tears ran down her cheek unchecked when I told her where and how I had found him. Her pale eyes brimmed with wonder as I told her how we had returned to the abandoned plaza. To her alone did I confide my venture into death. To her alone did I give a full accounting of our visit to the dragons themselves and the restoration of the Rooster Crown.
Only once did she interrupt. I had told her of brushing the dust and leaves off Verity-as-Dragon. She instantly reached across the table to seize my hand in a cool, hard grip.
“With these pillars, if you held my hand, you could take me to him? Even just once? I know, I know, all that would not be there for me. Yet, even to touch the stone that holds him… Oh, Fitz, you have no idea what that would mean to me!”
“To take an unSkilled person through a pillar… I do not know the full toll it might take on your mind. It could be arduous and dangerous, my queen.” I was reluctant, and yet even more reluctant to disappoint her. “And Dutiful,” she said, as if she had not heard my warning at all. “Dutiful should stand, at least once, by the dragon of his father. It would make real his father’s sacrifice to him, and he might perceive his own in a kindlier light then.”
“Dutiful’s sacrifice?”
“Did not you hear what he could not say? That as a man, he could have stayed there with Elliania, and been her husband and welcomed by her family. As a prince, he cannot. It is not a small sacrifice, FitzChivalry. Elliania will follow him here, that is true. But ever, it will be a little wall between them. You yourself have known how sharp that can be, to disappoint the woman you love out of the duty you must yield to your people.” I spoke without considering the wisdom of it. “I will be going back for her, now. The time for that sacrifice is at an end. Burrich is gone and no longer stands between us. I will take Molly again for my own.” A silence followed my words, and I realized I had shocked her. Then she said, gently, “I am glad that, at last, you have found that resolve. I speak now as a woman and your friend. Do not go to Molly too soon. Let her son come home to her first. Let her family heal around their terrible wound. Then, approach her, but as yourself, not as a man coming to take Burrich’s place.”
I knew her words were wise as soon as I heard them. But my heart howled to rush to Molly as soon as I could, to begin, as soon as possible, to make up the years we had lost. I wanted to comfort her in her grief. I bowed my head, realizing the selfishness of that impulse. Hard as it would be for me to stand to one side and wait, it was what I should do, for the sake of Burrich’s sons.
“And the same for Nettle,” Kettricken went on implacably. “She will soon know that something has changed when I do not call on her to pass messages to Dutiful for me. Yet, if you will listen to me, do not rush to her. Above all, do not try to replace her father. For such Burrich was to her, Fitz, through no fault of your own. Such he will always be. You will have to find another role in her life, and be content with it.”
They were bitter words for me to hear, and more bitter still was it for me to admit, “I know.” I sighed. “I will teach her the Skill. That time, I will have with her.”
I resumed my tale for the Queen, and by the time I reached the end of it, the pot of tea was gone. I was a bit abashed to see that I had cleared the table of food. I suspected that Kettricken had eaten little of it. I blinked my sandy eyes and tried to stifle a huge yawn. She smiled at me wearily. “Go and sleep, Fitz.”
“Thank you. I shall.” Then, well aware I was not supposed to know her identity, I asked the Queen, “If you would speak to Chade’s new apprentice, it would be of great help to me. The third storeroom in the east hall is where he used to have supplies left for Thick to bring up to his tower room. As soon as the Fool can travel, I plan to bring him back to Buckkeep. The tower room might be the best place for him to stay, until he can shed his identity as Lord Golden. Chade’s apprentice could stock the room if she—” And there I bit my tongue, knowing I’d betrayed myself in my weariness.
Queen Kettricken gave me a tolerant smile. “I’ll tell Lady Rosemary to make the arrangements. And if I need you?”
I pondered briefly, then realized the obvious. “Ask Nettle to contact Thick.”
She shook her head. “I plan to send Nettle home to her family for a time. They need her. It is not fair that they be apart at this time.”
I nodded. “Thick will be about. You could keep him at your side. It might be a good way to occupy him and keep him from telling too many tales of how he came home.” She nodded gravely. I bowed, suddenly horribly weary.
“Go, Fitz, and take my thanks with you. Oh!” The sharpness of her intake of breath warned me. “What?”
“Lady Patience is expected. She sent me word of her visit at the same time that she told me she wished to convey Withywoods on Lady Nettle. She also warned me that she wished to ‘consult me on serious matters concerning certain inheritances that should be provided for now.’”
There was little point in mincing words. “I am sure she knows that Nettle is my daughter. Eda help the poor child if Patience has decided to take over her education.” I smiled ruefully at my remembrance of Patience’s instruction of me.
Queen Kettricken nodded to that. Solemnly she asked, “What is the saying? All your chickens have come home to roost?”
“I think that’s it. But strangely enough, my lady queen, I welcome them.”
“I am glad to hear you say so.” She nodded to me that I was excused.
I left the room, and the climb back up to Chade’s tower seemed endless. When I got there, I lay down on the bed. I closed my eyes and tried to sleep, but it suddenly seemed the Skill-current was very near. Perhaps it was because of my long exercise with it that morning. I opened my eyes and became aware I could smell myself. I heaved a sigh and decided that getting cleaned up before I slept would not be a bad idea. Once more I wound my way through the immense old castle, avoiding the guardroom and the inevitable barrage of questions. I found the steams relatively deserted at that time of day. The two guardsmen there did not know me, and while they greeted me affably enough, they asked no questions. I was as much relieved at that as I was to scrape the whiskers from my face. I gave myself a most thorough scrubbing and then, feeling as if I had been parboiled, emerged clean and ready to sleep. Nettle was waiting for me outside the steams.