When Thick awoke, he was sick again. I suspected that his prolonged hunger had as much to do with his weakness now as his seasickness did. He was sore from retching, for the muscles of his belly ached and his throat was raw. I could not persuade him to take anything except water, and that he accepted reluctantly. The day was neither cold nor warm, but Thick shivered in his damp clothes. They chafed him, but my suggestion that we go into his cabin and change or get warm met angry resistance. I longed to simply pick him up and drag him there, but knew he would scream and fight me, and that his music would become wild and violent. Yet I feared that he might soon slip into a real illness.
The slow hours passed miserably, and not just for us. Twice I heard the mate explode in anger at his bad-humored crew. The second time, he threatened a man with a lashing if he didn’t show a more respectful face. I could feel the tension building aboard the ship.
In late evening the rain returned as a pervasive misting. I felt as if I had not been dry for a week. I put my blanket over Thick, hoping the weight of wool would be good for some warmth. He was dozing fitfully on the deck, twitching in his sleep like a dog with nightmares. I had often heard the jest “You can’t die from seasickness, but you wish you could.” Now I wondered if it was wrong. How long could his body accept this treatment?
My Wit made me aware of Web before his silhouette lumbered out of the dim light of the ship’s lantern to stand over me. “You’re a faithful man, Tom Badgerlock,” he observed as he hunkered down beside me. “This can’t be pleasant duty, but you’ve not left his side even for a moment.”
His praise both warmed me and made me uncomfortable. “It’s my responsibility,” I replied, letting his compliment slide past me.
“And you take it seriously.”
“Burrich taught me that,” I said, a bit testily.
Web laughed easily. “And he taught you to hang on to a grievance like a pit dog hanging on to a bull’s nose. Let it go, FitzChivalry Farseer. I’ll say no more of the man.”
“I wish you would not bandy that name about so casually,” I said after a moment of heavy quiet.
“It belongs to you. It’s a piece of you that is missing. You should take it back.”
“He’s dead. And better left that way, for the sake of all I hold dear.”
“Is it truly for them, or is it for yourself?” he asked of the night.
I wasn’t looking at him. I was staring out over the stern, watching the other ships that trailed us through the watery night. They were black hulks, their sails blotting out the stars behind them. The lanterns they bore rose and fell with them, distant moving stars. “Web, what do you want of me?” I asked him at last.
“Only to make you think,” he answered soothingly. “Not to make you angry, though I seem to excel at that. Or perhaps your anger is always there, festering inside you, and I am the knife that lances the boil and lets it burst forth.”
I shook my head at him silently, not caring if he could or could not see me. I had other things to deal with right now, and wished I were alone.
As if he could read my thoughts, he added, “And tonight I did not even intend to start you on your thinking path. Actually, I came here to offer you respite. I’ll sit vigil with Thick, if you wish to take a few hours to yourself. I doubt you’ve slept deeply since you took up this watch.”
I longed to move about freely on my own, to see what the temper was on the rest of the ship. Even more than that, I longed for a little unguarded sleep. The offer was incredibly attractive. It therefore made me immediately suspicious.
“Why?”
Web smiled. “Is it that unusual for people to be nice to you?”
His question jolted me in an odd way. I took a breath. “Sometimes it seems that way, I suppose.”
I rose slowly, for I had stiffened in the night chill. Thick muttered in his uneasy rest. I raised my arms over my head and rolled my shoulders as I arrowed a swift thought to Dutiful.Web is offering to take over my watch of Thick for a time. May I allow this?
Of course. He seemed almost surprised that I had asked.
But then, sometimes my prince trusted too easily. Please let Chade know.
I felt Dutiful’s agreement. I spoke aloud to Web, at the end of my stretch. “Thank you. I’ll take you up on your offer, very gratefully.”
I watched him settle himself carefully beside Thick and take the smallest seapipes I’d ever seen from inside his shirt. Seapipes are probably the most common musical instrument in any fleet, for they withstand both bad weather and careless handling. It takes little to learn to play a simple tune on them, yet a talented player can entertain like a Buckkeep minstrel with them. I wasn’t surprised to see them in Web’s hands. He’d been a fisherman; he probably still was, in many ways.
He waved me away. As I departed, I heard a breathy sigh of music. He was playing, very softly, a child’s tune on his pipes. Had he instinctively known that might soothe Thick? I wondered why I hadn’t thought of music as a way to comfort him. I sighed. I was becoming too set in my ways. I needed to remember how to be flexible. I went to the galley in hopes of begging something hot to eat. Instead I got hard bread and a piece of cheese no bigger than two fingers. The cook let me know I could consider myself fortunate for being allowed that. She didn’t have food to waste, she didn’t, not aboard this top-heavy, overpopulated tub. I had hoped for washwater, just enough to splash the salt from my hands and face, but she told me I hadn’t a prayer of that. I’d had my share for the day, hadn’t I? I should take what I was issued and be happy with it. Guardsmen. No idea what life aboard a vessel required of a man in self-discipline.
I retreated from her sharp tongue. I longed to stay abovedecks to eat, but I was out of my territory there, and the sailors were in a mood to prove it to me. So I went below, down to where the rest of the guard snored and muttered and played cards by the swinging light of a lantern. Our days at sea had not improved the smell of our quarters. I found that Riddle had not exaggerated the ill humor of the men. The comments of one man on “the returning nursemaid” would have been enough justification for a fight if I’d wanted one. I didn’t, and managed to shed his insults, eat my food hastily, and dig my blanket out of my sea chest. Finding a place to stretch out was impossible. Prone guardsmen littered the floor. I curled up in their midst. I would have preferred to sleep with my back to a wall, but there was no hope of that. I eased off my boots and loosened my belt. The man next to me muttered nastily and rolled over as I tried to settle on the deck and cover most of myself with my blanket. I closed my eyes and breathed out, reaching desperately for unconsciousness, grateful for the opportunity to close my eyes and sleep. At least in my dreams I could escape this nightmare.
But as I crossed the dim territory between wakefulness and sleep, I recognized that perhaps I held the solution to my problems. Instead of wallowing my way into full sleep, I slid sideways through it, seeking Nettle. My task was harder than I had expected. Thick’s music was here, and finding my way through it was like blundering through brambles in a fog. No sooner did I think of that than the sounds sprouted tendrils and thorns. Music should not hurt a man, but this did. I staggered through a fog of sickness, hunger, and thirst, my spine tight with cold and my head pounding with the discordant music that snatched and dragged at me. After a time I halted. “It’s a dream,” I said to myself, and the brambles writhed mockingly at my words. As I stood still, pondering my situation, they began to wrap around my legs. “It’s a dream,” I said again. “It can’t hurt me.” But my words did not prevail. I felt the thorns bite through my leggings into my flesh as I staggered forward. They tightened their grip and held me fast.