"But what if nothing happened? What if the circumstances were as innocent as ours are tonight?"
"It wouldn't make any difference," he answered. "She would still be condemned."
"What about the man? What would happen to him?"
"Not much," he admitted after a moment's reflection. "It isn't all absolute, of course. If she comes from a powerful family, or if an influential friend decides to help, there is a chance she wouldn't be shunned. A remote chance," he added. "But still a chance. Before you judge too harshly, I'll remind you that your society in New York is similar."
"It isn't my society," she argued. "Out here, we don't have time for such nonsense."
A sudden thought made her smile. "If what you say is accurate, then you would have to marry me tomorrow if we were in the wilderness in England. They do have their own paradise, don't they?"
"Yes," he assured her. "They do. There are untouched areas just as breathtakingly beautiful."
"Honestly?"
"Honestly."
"What about my other question? Would you have to many me?"
She turned to look at him. He slowly turned to look at her. She saw the sparkle in his eyes and something else she couldn't quite put her finger on.
"Probably not," he told her. "My employer is a very powerful man in England. He would come to your aid."
She looked disgruntled by his answer. Harrison laughed.
She was getting a crick in her neck. She moved again, got up on her knees to face him, then leaned back against her ankles. The side of her thigh touched his.
He tried once again not to think about her closeness or her lack of attire. It helped if he stared at her forehead-not much, of course, but he was a desperate man. He would take what he could.
"Now why are you frowning? Tell me what you're thinking about?"
"Approaching sainthood."
She didn't understand. He wasn't going to enlighten her. "You're a puzzling man, Harrison. One minute you're laughing, and the next you're frowning like a bear."
"Bears don't frown."
"I was being metaphorical."
"Another word on the chalkboard?"
She nodded. "I like the word. It sounds… intelligent."
"You're going to make me go stand outside, aren't you, Mary Rose?"
"Why?"
"You're being provocative."
"I am?" She was pleased with his remark.
"I haven't just given you a compliment. You're deliberately tempting me. Stop it."
She couldn't hide her smile. "Now you're gloating," he muttered.
She had to agree. She was gloating. "A woman likes to know she's appealing," she explained. "But I shall stop flirting with you just as soon as I figure out what it is I'm doing."
"You could start by taking your hand off my thigh."
She hadn't realized where her hand was draped. She immediately pulled away.
"What else?"
"Quit looking at me that way."
"What way?"
"Like you want me to kiss you."
"But I do want you to kiss me."
"It isn't going to happen, so stop it," he ordered again.
She tucked the covers around her legs, then folded her hands together in her lap.
"What would happen if we weren't discovered?"
"Where?"
"In England, after spending a night together," she said.
He thought they had finished discussing the subject. She was obviously still curious about the workings of his society, however, and so he answered her.
"We would be discovered. Gossip travels like the plague. Everyone always knows everyone else's business."
"Then do you know what I might do?"
"No, what?"
"I'd give them all something to talk about. The people must be terribly bored, after all, to be concerned about everyone else all the time. I would become indiscreet. If I loved the man I was spending the night with, and if I knew he wanted to marry me and I wanted to marry him, well then I would…"
His hand covered her mouth. "No, you would not. You would have your own honor to protect. You would be true to yourself, to who you are."
It took her a long minute to finally admit he was right. "Yes, I would," she said. "Still, being a fallen woman does hold a certain fascination. I'd probably wear red all the time."
He shook his head. "Look at the cost," he suggested.
She rolled her eyes heavenward. "Ever the attorney," she whispered. "All right. We'll look at the cost. You're going to tell me all about it, aren't you?"
He nodded. "If you give up parts of who you are, eventually you give up everything."
"Yes, Harrison."
He didn't realize she was agreeing with him. "If you lose yourself, you've lost everything."
"In other words, you aren't going to kiss me."
"You've got that right."
"You have bruises all over your chest. And your neck. I'll bet your backside's black and blue."
"You aren't going to find out."
She reached over and touched a bruise near his left shoulder. Her fingertips were warm against his skin.
He didn't think she had any idea of what she was doing to him. She was frowning with obvious concern over the beating his body had taken.
When she touched the bruise next to his navel, he grabbed hold of her hand.
"You'd better start taking care of yourself," she said. "I don't think you should go with my brothers to get the cattle we purchased."
"Why not?"
"Because you'll probably break your neck."
"You've got a lot of confidence in me, don't you?"
"I believe in you."
Her words came out in a soft whisper, and, oh, how they touched his heart. Her belief in him was humbling.
They stared into each other's eyes for a breathless moment, then each looked away. Neither was willing, nor ready, to take the next step. Harrison knew he loved her but couldn't profess his love for her because they would be empty words indeed without a future together. He would have to declare his intentions to Lord Elliott first and only after he had proven himself financially stable enough to provide for his daughter in the style Elliott would demand.
Mary Rose was afraid to fall in love with Harrison. She was trying to protect her heart from being crushed. He had been very open and honest with her about the possibility of leaving, and who was she to keep him from pursuing his destiny and his dreams?
I am very practical, she decided with a good deal of self-disgust.
She wouldn't allow herself to grasp any possibility until she was assured of the outcome. She desperately wanted to protect herself, yet even now she was close to weeping over a future without Harrison.
"What are you thinking?"
She pulled her hand away from his before she answered. "Here today, gone tomorrow. What were you thinking?"
"That it would take me years to become financially equal to my employer."
They both sounded disheartened.
"If we were living in the city of London, I would probably have complete confidence in your ability to take care of yourself."
He raised an eyebrow. " 'Probably'?"
She smiled. She loved it when he sounded outraged. She knew it was forced, of course, and assumed he was also trying to move back into a safer, more casual conversation.
"No, not 'probably,' " she qualified. "I'm certain you could look after yourself."
"I would hope so."
"I don't think less of you. No, of course I don't. I believe in you, Harrison. It's your experience we're talking about now."
"What's wrong with my experience?"
"You don't have any."
She patted his knee in mock sympathy. "You've never worked with cattle before. I doubt you even know how to use a rope. Therefore, it would be dangerous for you. Have I injured your feelings again?"
"Go to sleep."
She decided not to take offense over the gruff order. "I am tired," she admitted. "Running up and down those stairs got old fast."