‘Well, of course I’ll do it, you silly!’ I think for a moment and begin to smile. ‘Hey, I’ve got an even better idea.’
‘What?’ He looks hopeful suddenly.
I grin. ‘I’ll get rid of them all – you’ll see.’
I stand in the doorway for a moment, soaking up the chaos. They are seated around the kitchen table, a mess of Coco Pops, Coke cans, Jaffa Cakes and crisps strewn out in front of them. Mum must have sent Tiffin to the corner shop when she discovered only muesli and brown bread for breakfast. But at least she’s up before noon, albeit still in her sleazy pink dressing gown, her blonde hair uncombed, great bags beneath her bloodshot eyes. Judging by the ashtray, she has already been through half a packet of cigarettes, but despite her appearance, she seems surprisingly spry and perky, helped no doubt by the shot of whisky I can smell in her coffee.
‘Princess!’ She holds out her arms. ‘You look like an angel in that dress.’
‘Mum, this is the same nightie I’ve been wearing for the last four years,’ I inform her with a sigh.
Mum just smiles complacently, my words barely registering, but Kit chuckles through a mouthful of Coco Pops, showering the table. I’m relieved to see that he looks none the worse for his run-in with Lochan last night. Beside him, Tiffin is trying to juggle with three oranges from the fruit bowl, his sugar levels clearly sky-high. Willa is talking rapidly and indistinctly, her mouth crammed to capacity, chocolate smeared across her chin. I make some coffee, retrieve the muesli from the cupboard and start slicing the bread on the sideboard.
‘Wanna Mars bar?’ Tiffin offers me generously.
‘No thanks, Tiff. And I think you’ve probably had enough chocolate for today. Remember what happens when you have too much sugar?’
‘I get sent to the head,’ Tiffin responds automatically. ‘But I ain’t at school now.’
‘I’m not at school now,’ I correct him. ‘Hey, guess what, I’ve had a really good idea for a family day out!’
‘Oh, how lovely!’ Mum exclaims eagerly. ‘Where are you going to take them?’
‘Actually I was thinking of a day out with the whole family,’ I continue jovially, careful to keep the edge out of my voice. ‘And we’d definitely want you to come too, Mum!’
Kit glances up at me with dark, mistrustful eyes, snorting in derision. ‘Yeah, let’s go to the seaside or something and have a fucking picnic and pretend we’re just one big happy family.’
‘Where, where?’ Tiffin shouts.
‘Well, I was thinking we could all go to—’
‘The zoo, the zoo!’ Willa cries, practically falling off her chair in excitement.
‘No, the park!’ Tiffin counters. ‘We can play three-aside football.’
‘How about the bowling alley?’ Kit suggests unexpectedly. ‘They have arcade games there.’
I smile indulgently. ‘We might be able to do all three. There’s a massive fairground that’s just opened in Battersea Park – there’s a zoo on the other side of the park, and I think the fairground even has arcade games, Kit.’
A flicker of interest registers in his eyes.
‘Mum, will you buy me candyfloss?’ Tiffin yells.
‘And me, and me!’ Willa shrieks.
Mum smiles wanly. ‘A day out with all my bunnies. How lovely.’
‘But you’ll all have to get ready double quick,’ I warn. ‘It’s almost noon.’
‘Mum, come on!’ Tiffin yells at her. ‘You gotta put on all your make-up and get dressed right now!’
‘Just one last ciggie . . .’
But Tiffin and Willa have already gone tearing out of the room to put on their coats and shoes. Even Kit has swung his feet off the table.
‘Is Lochan coming on this little jaunt?’ Mum asks me, dragging heavily on her cigarette. I notice Kit’s eyes sharpen suddenly.
‘No, he’s got a ton of homework to catch up on.’ I stop clearing the table suddenly and slap a hand to my forehead. ‘Oh no. Damn!’
‘What’s the matter, sweetie?’
‘I completely forgot. I can’t come today. I promised I’d babysit the Davidsons’ new baby this afternoon.’
Mum looks alarmed. ‘Well, can’t you just cancel and say you’re ill or something?’
‘No, they’re going to a wedding and I told them I’d do it ages ago.’ I can’t believe what a good liar I am. ‘Besides,’ I add pointedly, ‘we could do with the money.’
Tiffin and Willa return to the kitchen, bundled up in their coats, and stop, instantly sensing the change in atmosphere.
‘Clever Maya’s just realized we can’t go after all,’ Kit informs them.
‘We’ll go tomorrow instead!’ Mum exclaims brightly. ‘Nooo!’ Tiffin’s howl is one of despair. Willa looks up at me accusingly, her blue eyes stricken.
‘But you can still go with Mum,’ I say casually, carefully avoiding her gaze.
Tiffin and Willa turn to gaze at her, their eyes pleading. ‘Mum! Mum, pleeeease!’
‘Oh, all right, all right,’ she sighs, shooting me a pained, almost angry look. ‘Anything for my babies.’
As Mum goes upstairs to get dressed and Tiffin and Willa tear about the house in a sugar-induced frenzy, Kit returns his feet to the table and starts idly flicking through a comic. ‘Well, look how that turned out,’ he mutters without looking up.
I feel myself tense but continue to clear the table. ‘What difference does it make?’ I retort quietly. ‘Tiffin and Willa get to go out and have fun and you get five times your usual pocket money to spend on arcades.’
‘I’m not complaining,’ he says. ‘I just think it’s touching the way you fabricate this whole complicated lie just ’cos Lochan’s too ashamed to face the fact that he’s a violent bastard.’
I stop cleaning the table, squeezing the sponge so hard that the warm, soapy water runs through the cracks between my fingers.
‘Lochan doesn’t know anything about this, OK?’ I retort, my voice low with repressed anger. ‘It was my idea. Because frankly, Kit, it’s the weekend, Tiffin and Willa deserve to have a bit of fun, and Lochan and I are completely shattered from running the house all week.’
‘I bet he is – after trying to kill me last night.’ He glares up at me now, his dark eyes as hard as pebbles.
I find myself gripping the edge of the table. ‘From what I remember it was a two-way deal. And Lochan’s so bashed up, he can hardly move.’
A slow grin of triumph spreads across Kit’s face. ‘Yeah, well, I can’t say I’m surprised. If he didn’t spend his days hiding in stairwells and actually learned to fight like a real—’
I slam my fist down on the table. ‘Don’t give me your macho gang bullshit,’ I hiss in a furious whisper. ‘Last night wasn’t some kind of sick competition! Lochan’s really upset about what happened. He never wanted to hurt you.’
‘How very considerate of him,’ Kit replies, voice dripping with sarcasm, still flicking infuriatingly through his magazine. ‘But kind of hard to believe when just a few hours ago he had his hands around my neck.’
‘You played a part in this too, you know. You punched him first!’ I glance nervously at the closed kitchen door. ‘Look, I’m not going to get into an argument with you about who started what. As far as the fight’s concerned, you’re both as guilty as each other. But just ask yourself this: why the hell d’you think Lochan was so upset in the first place? How many of your friends have a brother who would stay up half the night waiting for them to return? How many of them have a brother who would go scouring the streets at three in the morning because he was afraid something terrible might have happened? How many have brothers who shop for them, cook for them, attend parent–teacher meetings and stick up for them when they’re suspended from school? Don’t you get it, Kit? Lochan lost it last night because he cares about you, because he loves you!’