“I want to do it again!” I told him eagerly. But he shook his head.
“Let’s stick to smaller things for now. You should pace yourself.”
For the next hour we practiced making bubbles (which I had done unknowingly when I had first gotten in the water), making little ripples, whirlpools like we did in class, and small waves. It was as if I was meeting a part of myself for the first time. It was as natural to me as breathing.
“So you’ve gotten the hang of some things above water,” he paused and his face lit up, “but you haven’t tried anything under the water. It’s an entirely different experience.”
“But its dark, I won’t be able to see anything,” I countered.
“Afraid of the dark, Stasia?” At that he disappeared beneath the surface. Left alone in the moonlight, I suddenly felt very alone. I thought I saw something move on shore, but then again it could have been just a trick of the moonlight. As a chilling feeling crept up my spine and settled in my chest, my heart rate quickened and I decided it was time to join Finn under the waves. With one last look toward the beach, I took a breath and dove under.
I was immediately shocked by how well I could see. It wasn’t as bright as during the day, but everything had somewhat of a glow, making it very easy to see. I spotted Finn a couple yards out emanating the same glow. Once he saw me, he continued swimming away from the beach. I followed him out as the ocean floor dropped farther and farther beneath us. He finally stopped and turned to face me. His stormy blue eyes had taken on a completely new quality underwater. I could see flecks of teal and green among the darker blues. He grinned at me as his hair danced in the current. He put both hands on my shoulders and ran them down the outside of my arms, stopping at the crook of my elbows. He pulled me closer and I noticed without our arms to tread water we began sinking quickly.
A look of determination settled on his face and the grip on my arms tightened.
I stared back at him trying to understand what he was doing. I tried to move my arms, but I’d have better luck getting out of a vice grip. Then I tried to push away by kicking my legs, but that turned out to be a futile effort as well. I looked up and realized just how far we had descended. Each inch we dropped was an inch between me and life sustaining oxygen. As my lungs burned for air, panic set in and I tried to think of a way to get away from him. Coming up with nothing, I continued struggling, which only made the need for oxygen that much worse. Why was he doing this? Was he going to kill me? Why? His face remained so eerily still, while a terror like I’d never felt before emerged from the depths of my soul.
Cursed. That’s what Carmen had said. Thanks to my made-up excuse, no one even knew I was out there. He could anchor my body to the bottom of the sea and I could be eaten by sharks before they found me. I began struggling again, but my lungs were at their breaking point. Small black spots formed in my vision and Finn began to blur in front of me. I could only make out his lips moving.
‘ Just breathe’ they said. What kind of sick joke was this? He was the one holding me captive underwater and he wanted me to just breathe? Now he was repeating it over and over. He was sick.
Or crazy. Or both. My lungs were on fire and the urge to take a breath became intolerable. The small black spots turned to larger black splotches and I knew I’d lose consciousness soon. Suddenly, all on their own, my lips parted and my lungs inhaled.
Chapter 15
Water immediately poured into my nose and throat, filling my lungs. I felt the pressure pushing against my chest. It was cold, foreign and I waited for the pain to come, for the blackness to take over.
Then I exhaled. My eyes zeroed in on Finn, who was concentrating on me like a science experiment, and it frightened me all over again. Then I inhaled. And exhaled. No pain. No blackness strangling me in to oblivion. Just me and Finn, suspended in the ocean. I started taking deeper breaths as my vision cleared and my energy returned. I watched him carefully and saw that he was breathing too. This couldn’t be happening. People couldn’t breathe underwater…it was impossible.
He smiled slowly at me and a red hot rage filled every fiber of my being. Having use of my arms again, I pushed away from him as hard as I could and kicked up to the surface. I broke through and immediately took a breath of fresh air. In the back of my mind, I marveled at how easy it was to go from breathing water to breathing air again. Then I remembered why I was breathing water in the first place as Finn broke the surface beside me.
I swam towards shore. The waves had greatly increased in size and the thought crossed my mind that my anger was causing it. Good. Maybe they’d swallow him whole and keep him out there.
I finally made it past them and onto the beach, when I felt him right behind me. I whipped around, narrowing my eyes. “Get away from me.” I turned on my heel and kept walking.
“I wasn’t trying to hurt you, Stasia.”
I turned on him again as a fresh wave of anger engulfed me. “Drowning me is you NOT trying to hurt me? Is that supposed to make me feel better?!”
“I wouldn’t have been able to convince you any other way.”
“So that was your solution?!”
“I wouldn’t have let anything happen to you.” He tried to touch my arm, but I slid out of his reach and glared at him.
“How long were you deciding to hold me down there and watch me drown?! Did you ever consider the crazy possibility that I wouldn’t be able to breathe underwater?”
“I can’t explain how I know; you just have to trust me.”
“Trust you? You want me to trust you after what just happened?” Tears poured down my face.
He stepped closer.
“You’re special, Stasia. You don’t know the amazing things you’re capable of. I want to show you who you really are.” The tenderness in his eyes only upset me more.
“Don’t say things like that! You don’t even know me!” I put my hands on his chest and pushed him, but I could have been pushing on a cement wall for all the good it did, “You don’t know the things I’ve been through! You don’t know the things I’ve seen! Look at me Finn, I’m not special!
I’m broken!”
“Once you’ve been touched by evil, it never leaves you,” I looked up at his words, laced with understanding, “but it doesn’t define you. Evil didn’t break you, Stasia, it built you up. Made you stronger.” Looking up at him, I almost believed him. I narrowed my eyes.
“What do you know about evil? Do you know what it’s like to be scared for your life every single day!? Do you?!” I pounded on his chest uselessly with my fists as emotions coursed through me. He just stood there silent, taking it. My anger eventually faded to humiliation, which turned to exhaustion. I collapsed against him, my hands and forehead pressed against his chest. I felt his fingers at the nape of my neck and his thumb lifted my chin.
“Anastasia…” he whispered. I heard the longing in his voice as he lightly ran his thumb over my lips. His eyes took me in and with no fight left, I gave in to them. The smell of the salt water that clung to his body filled my senses and I let the sound of the ocean caress my ears. He leaned closer, holding my gaze. His closeness made my anger evaporate, replaced by a desire so strong, it threatened to consume me. All I could think about were his lips, inches from my own.
“Kiss me…” I heard myself whisper. His other arm wrapped around my waist, pulling me to him abruptly. The next instant his mouth crushed mine with such hunger, my own desire overpowered me and I was lost in it. I wrapped my arms around his neck as the heat of his skin burned against mine. The coolness of his wet hair sizzled in my fingers as I clung to him.