“Boys.” Playfully, I roll my eyes before lying down. Nate straddles my butt and I’m really hoping it doesn’t feel too cushiony.
“Can I undo this?” His fingers touch my back, under the strap.
The first time I try to speak, nothing comes out. The second time I manage to squeak out a, “Yes.”
He does, and then his hands start kneading the tender muscles in my shoulders…down, down to my lower back before he goes up again.
“So…college. Do we really want to talk about that?”
Is it just me or does his voice sound a little rougher than it did a minute ago?
“Why not? It’s an important part of your life.”
“Yours, too. Don’t make it sound like that. Just because you might go to community college locally doesn’t mean you’re not going to school.”
I nod because he’s right.
Nate continues, “I haven’t made specific plans. I still have my whole senior year. But there are a couple places I’m considering. You know I wanna study architecture, right?” His hands keep moving, keep massaging as he talks.
“Of course I know. You told me that your first summer here. I’m not surprised you didn’t change your mind—”
“—You remember that?” he cuts me off.
I wonder if it makes me sound pathetic to be honest, but I do it anyway. “I remember everything.”
“Shit…” Nate curses, making me wonder what’s wrong. “Will you roll over?” he asks, pushing up onto his knees so there is more room. There’s only about two seconds of hesitation before I do as asked.
My bra still covers me, but it’s looser being unstrapped. I expect his eyes to drift down to my boobs, but they don’t. “UCLA. It’s my top choice.”
California. The place he knows I want to go. My heart starts going crazy because I don’t know what that means. If it means anything. Maybe he’s always wanted to go to California. Hell, maybe he has family there. But maybe…maybe he’s saying he wants to go because I do.
“Nate—” His finger against my lips quiets me.
“Shh…Just wanted you to know.” Then the look in his eyes switches and he does what I thought he would do a few minutes ago. His gaze lands on my chest. When our eyes meet again, I see the silent question there. I nod my head and with slow hands, he slides my bra off each arm before tossing it aside.
“Still perfect.”
My heart does all sorts of somersaults and back handsprings that he remembers exactly what he told me last year. And then he starts kissing me. His mouth exploring more than just my lips. I arch toward him and fist my hand in his hair.
I love you, I want to tell him, but something deep inside me thinks he might already know.
“Do you think I’ve changed?” I ask Nate one day as we’re going on a hike. It’s not often that guests ask us to take them, but we have a family of five who wanted to go Indian Rock. Dad named it that himself and took pictures of it before I was even born, hanging them up all over the store. It’s become somewhat of an attraction now, the locals and visitors all wanting to see the tall rock up on that mountain that looks like a Native American, headdress and all.
Dad usually took any tours we had up to Indian Rock, but, well, that’s one of the things that has changed. He wanted Alec to go with me, but he had something else to do, so Nate was his only choice.
Both of us were a little shocked.
“Changed like how?” he asks. The family is about ten feet behind us, but not paying much attention to what we’re doing. It’s then I realized we talked about how we were different on our hike last year as well.
“I don’t know. Changed. Like in any way. Every year you come back you’re different in one way or another. Last year you were sadder. This year you’re more like you were the first summer, just…”
“Hotter? Sexier? Impossible to resist?” He grins.
“Conceited?”
He feigns shock, but then reaches for my hand. Two of our fingers link like a chain as we keep walking.
“I was going to just say more grown-up, but I’m rethinking that.”
“Oh, so I’m more manly? Basically the same thing as sexier.” He laughs before pulling me to him, wrapping an arm around my shoulders. “I mean, yeah you’ve changed in some ways. You wouldn’t be normal if you didn’t, but there are some things about you that are always the same.”
“Like what?” I ask him.
“Your honesty. The way you say whatever’s on your mind.”
“Only to you.”
“That’s all that matters.” I pinch his side and he pushes my hand away. “I’m kidding. No pinching, woman. You’re adventurous in a different way than any girl I’ve ever met. You’re comfortable playing football or looking through a telescope and telling me about the stars.” He leans closer to me. “You trust me in a way no one in my life has ever done… Even when I didn’t trust myself to make decisions because of Chrissy. You trusted me. Those things are the same about you, but…I guess it’s like you said about me, you’re more grown-up. Sometimes, I don’t really know how to say what I’m trying to, but it’s like you’re this old soul trapped in a seventeen year old’s body. I think you see the world different than anyone I know, Charlotte Rae Gates.”
I look over at him. “I don’t want to see it differently.”
“Why?” he asks. “It’s one of my favorite things about you. You wanna see and do so much, but you have this kind of nobility or something about you that makes you put all your dreams aside for other people. I couldn’t do that. Not many people could.”
I think that might be the best compliment I’ve ever received. “No one makes me feel like you do,” I tell him.
He looks down at me as we keep walking up the mountain. “You do the same thing to me, Star Girl.”
“I…” Before I can continue, my foot comes down the wrong way on a rock. I fall forward, but Nate catches me. I wonder if one day, I’ll ever be able to catch myself.
“My brother wants to go camping, Charlotte. He told me to ask you if you can hook it up. I think he’s feeling lonely because he’s stuck in his room every night alone.”
Brandon flips Nate off. “Screw you. That has nothing to do with it. I just thought it would be fun, you asshole.”
Nate laughs, but then he turns to me, looking panicky. “I didn’t mean…not because we’re out or every night or…shit.” Something else seems to hit him. He leans down so his mouth is by my ear and whispers. “I’m an asshole. I shouldn’t have said it that way because of your sister.”
Because of Sadie leaving. I get it, reaching over, my hand grabs his shirt by his stomach. “No worries. I know what you meant.”
I turn my head, “Brandon, I’m not inviting girls on a camping trip because you’re lonely.”
“That’s not what I meant.” He crosses his arms, looking every bit of the jock-ish, football player he is. “I just thought it would be fun to get out, but I know my brother doesn’t go anywhere without you, so…”
“Would you?” Nate asks, while I say, “You guys can go camping. I don’t have to tag along.”
Now Nate’s attention is on me. “Who said I want to go without you? I’m with him all the time.”
“See!” Brandon adds.
“I used to love camping. Me, Dad, Alec and his dad went a lot when we were younger.”
Nate stiffens at that. “Of course.”
“I don’t like him like that. I never will.” It doesn’t matter to me that Brandon is sitting right there when I say it. All that matters is Nate hearing it and believing it.
“Yeah, she doesn’t like him like that. My baby brother is jealous of Alec.”