Even Alec is being okay. I don’t know if it was because they got along well on the camping trip or what. It’s not like they’ll ever be super good friends or anything. That much is obvious, but they don't look like they want to murder each other half the time.
For once, everything feels okay. Like maybe if you want something enough or you earn it enough, maybe you can get the things you want.
Not that I think I’ll be with Nate forever. We’ve talked about schools to apply to and wondered what it would be like, but I don’t know if I really believe that will ever happen. Dad is still sick. Sadie and Mom are still gone. And I’m still needed here.
It’s a slow day around The Village. It gets like that toward the end of the summer sometimes. People leave early or they stay in and relax more. Dad gave Alec the day off, and him, Nate, and I are working on the back deck of one of the empty cabins. Some of the boards are rotting out so we have to replace half of it and then stain it. Luckily it’s not too big.
“Can I get your hand over here for a minute, Nate?” Dad asks him and I can’t help but look up from where I’m working to watch them. They’re working together the same way he would have with Alec and it makes fizzy hope bubble over inside me.
What if things could really work out? What if they aren’t as hopeless as I always thought they were?
“Shit. Be careful. You almost got my thumb.” Dad laughs and shakes his head playfully at Nate. “You haven’t let Charlie teach you how to use a hammer, have you? She’s made me lose a nail and lost one herself, getting a little over anxious.”
Nate glances at me, his face full of mischief. “No, but those definitely sound like stories I’d like to hear.”
“Dad! Don’t,” I yell which of course makes him launch into the story. Even though I pretend it bothers me, it doesn’t. It’s cool seeing them converse and hear Dad talking about the past. We have so many memories together and I’m lucky, so lucky, that he’s taught me all the things he has. I know I wouldn’t be the person I am without him.
After teasing from Nate, we get back to work again. It’s not long later when Dad says, “I’ll be right back. I need to stand up for a few minutes.”
My eyes immediately dart to him as I watch him struggle slightly to stand. It might not be obvious to everyone, but it is to me. I flinch as Dad pushes up and the second he’s to his feet, I want to die. I know it’s nothing, nothing compared to how he must feel.
My eyes fill with tears as the wet spot in the font of his pants grows.
Nate turns away, picks up a tool and I know he’s pretending not to notice that my dad lost control of his bladder. They said things like this could happen, but hearing it and seeing it are two different things.
Without a word, Dad drops his tool belt to the deck and walks away.
Nate is to me before right as the first tears rolls off my face and hits the deck. “Shh. Come here. It’s okay. I got you.”
Climbing onto his lap, I wrap my arms around his him, bury my face into his neck and give into my cries. Nate just holds me, rubs my back and tells me it will be okay. That he’s sorry, but all I can think is that my dad, the big, strong man who’s run The Village since he was twenty years old, the one who built a fort with me and taught me to fish and play football and drive a boat, just peed his pants when he stood up.
My legs shake as I walk into the house a little while later. Seeing Dad right now is the last thing I want to do. Maybe that’s not what I should be thinking, but I am and it’s not just because of me. It’s for him. After what just happened, I know he wishes he’d never have to see Nate or me again.
But I also can’t walk away. It’s not right and no matter how hard it is, I have to try and show him that it’s okay. That nothing has changed.
Yeah right.
“Hey,” Dad says, changed into a fresh pair of clothes. “You might want to get changed. We’re leaving soon.”
Confusion pushes words out of my mouth, “Where are we going?”
“Randy and Maggie.”
Huh? I have no idea why we’d be going to Alec’s all of a sudden. “Okay…when will we be back?”
“Who knows, Charlie? Do you have plans I don’t know about?”
Every night. “No. Let me go take a shower. I’ll be out in a few minutes.”
After grabbing my clothes, I lock myself in the bathroom and text Nate.
Don’t know if I’ll be able to make it out 2night. Dad suddenly wants to go to Alec’s.
Everything cool? He asks almost immediately.
Think so. We used to go there a lot. Maybe he just misses old times?
This time it takes a minute for him to reply. K. See ya 2morrow. Let me know if u need anything.
Thx
Nate doesn’t reply after that. I wonder if he’s mad, but I don’t know what he would expect me to do. I have to go with Dad.
My shower is over quickly and before I know it we’re in the truck heading over to Alec’s. I don’t ask him about The Village—who he has working it or if he just closed it down early for tonight. None of those things really matter.
Alec and his family live in a small house about two miles from us. The short drive doesn’t give us time to talk, and honestly, I’m not sure if I want to.
Dad knocks, but doesn't wait for an answer before pushing their front door open.
“We’re out back!” Maggie yells, so we weave our way through their house to the deck where Randy stands in front of the grill while Alec and his mom sit at their picnic table. It’s like déjà vu to so many other evenings of my life that for a second, I actually feel like I’ve been transported back in time.
Sadie and Mom’s empty seats jerk me right back to the present.
“Charlie Rae! It’s been much too long since you came to visit.” Maggie hugs me. Yes, we see each other at least a few times a week because she helps at The Village, but she’s right. I haven’t been to Alec’s house all summer.
“Hey, kiddo,” Randy says.
“Hi.” My reply was means for them both.
“What’s up?” Alec asks when I sit down by him. Our parents are all on the other side of the deck by the grill now.
“Hey.”
“Surprised you could make it away from your extension tonight.” It’s the first smart aleck comment he’s made about Nate since the campout.
“First of all, screw you. I hate it when you’re a jerk for no reason. Second,” and now I lower my voice, “Dad peed his pants in front of me today, so excuse me if I’m not in the mood to fight with you.”
Alec’s facial expression goes hard. Not angry, but…upset? “Shit. I’m sorry, Charlie.”
I shrug. “It is what it is.”
Reaching over, he gives me a hug. For a few seconds, I let myself be comforted from my oldest friend.
Soon we’re all eating dinner together outside. Dad is laughing with Alec’s parents like nothing happened. From dinner we go into card games and it isn't long before I’m laughing, too. It’s so easy, the time we spend together. Like second nature. I know his family as well as my own. His dad has always been a little more standoffish. Not rude, but he’s just one of those silent, manly types who make people nervous, but still, I know he’s a good guy. I know he cares about my family. For a second, I think about how much easier it would be if I loved Alec the way I do Nate.
Holy shit.
I have Dad in my sights now. Is that why we’re here? Is he trying to manipulate me?
“Wanna go inside for a while?” Alec asks as though I’m not having an internal breakdown here. Without a reply I push to my feet, knowing if I stay out here, I’m not going to be able to keep my mouth shut. As much as the words want to come out, I don’t want to do that in front of Alec and his family.