It was a lovely evening, and I drifted amongst the earnest young men and women who were winding down after a hard couple of days. I chatted lightly and pleasantly to a number of people, always keeping one eye open for Cathy.
Looking over the crowd, I caught Waigel's eye. This man is not going to forgive and forget, I thought.
'Paul?' I heard a woman's voice call my name from behind me. I turned round. It was Madeleine Jansen.
'Oh hallo.'
'How are you finding the conference?'
'Oh, um, very interesting,' I said, looking over her shoulder.
Madeleine said something else, and looked at me expectantly.
None of it sank in. 'Sorry, I'm afraid I didn't catch that. It's been a busy day,' I said.
'Did you see any companies you liked?'
'Yes, there was one. Fairway. I thought they were good.' Where was she? She had to be around somewhere.
'Oh yes?'
Finally I saw her. 'Excuse me,' I said to Madeleine and pushed my way through the crowd towards her.
She was talking to Cash amidst a small group of people. I stood for a moment, just looking at her, admiring her. The glow from the barbecue danced across her face, lighting up her smile. The shadows made her dark eyes even larger than usual. I fought my way over to her. 'Cathy,' I said.
She turned and looked at me. For a moment, her smile changed from polite to radiant. She reddened a little and said, 'Hallo.'
'Hallo.'
A pause. Not awkward or difficult, just a pause.
'Are you feeling better?' I asked.
'Oh, you mean after this afternoon?' she said. 'Yes, I'm fine. Thank you for what you did.' Her voice told me she meant it, she wasn't just being polite. She smiled.
I looked around at the crowd of people under the canopy of the desert night. 'Have you ever been to anything like this before?' I asked.
'No, but I've been to Phoenix once,' she said, 'on a Greyhound bus. It was several years ago. I was a student then, so we didn't stay anywhere like this. We slummed it all over America.'
'Did you go alone?'
'No. With a boyfriend.'
I pictured Cathy as a student travelling through the Arizona heat. Jeans, a T-shirt, long hair tied back, carefree. 'Lucky chap,' I thought, and then reddened myself as I realised I had spoken it out loud.
Cathy laughed. 'I haven't seen him in years.'
'Is there anyone you do see? Now, I mean?' I blurted it out. Only once I said it, did I realise how important the question was to me, and how desperately I hoped for the right answer.
She gave it. 'No,' she said. 'No one.' She paused, and looked up at me. 'And you?'
I immediately thought of Debbie. Her round face, her smiling eyes and the conversation we had had the night before she died. That conversation had unlocked something. A realisation that life was there to be enjoyed, and to be shared with other people. One of those other people could have been Debbie. But although she was gone, her vitality lived on; I could almost hear her urging me on with Cathy, teasing me for being shy. But I couldn't explain all this.
'No, nobody,' I said. It seemed to me that Cathy seemed to relax at this. I was encouraged. 'So, where else did you go on your bus?' I asked.
She told me all about her trip round America, and about many other things besides. Friends, family, university, books, men. And I talked too, long into the night. We sat on a grassy bank overlooking the pool, watching the other conference attendees slowly drift off to bed. Finally, at two thirty, long after everyone else had gone, we got up to leave. Afraid of risking anything that might ruin the evening, I said good night, kissed her cheek, and made my way back to my own room, singing softly to myself.
I took a taxi downtown to keep my appointment with Jack Salmon. I looked out of the window at the forest of billboards and sun-baked wooden stores which lined the road into Phoenix, and thought of Cathy, her dark eyes and intelligent face glowing softly in the starlight, and of the vulnerability I had felt in her as we had sat together by the pool the day before.
But she was not the only one who was vulnerable. My own feelings were exposed, laid bare to the open air, for Cathy to do with them what she wished. Since my father's death I had been careful to protect my emotions, to shield them from outside events, such as my mother's mental illness. I had channelled my emotional energy first into running, and now into trading. Will-power, determination and self-discipline. That is what had got me an Olympic medal. That is what would make me a great trader.
And now I found myself wanting to loosen this iron grip that I had developed over the years. I was a bit scared, but also exhilarated. Why not? The risk was worth it. I was curious to see what would happen.
But would she have me? Rejection would be hard to take. Very hard.
Phoenix Prosperity's offices literally shone in the sunlight as the taxi approached them. They seemed to be built of the same type of glass as those sunglasses in which you can see your own reflection. The giant gleaming cube rose above the debris of concrete, tarmac, wood and dust that was the undergrowth of a modern American city.
The taxi pulled into the carpark which was three-quarters empty. I got out and walked towards the building. Despite the traffic speeding along the road near by, the building had a quiet menace about it. No one walked in or out. It reminded me of one of those secret evil installations that crop up towards the end of James Bond films. I expected to be greeted by impassive automatons in exotic uniforms. In fact an overweight security guard glanced up from his paper, and waved me towards the lift.
The investment department was on the second floor. I was met by a secretary who asked me to sit down in one of a cluster of four leather armchairs set in the middle of a vast empty reception space.
I sat and waited. Phoenix Prosperity's annual report rested on the low table in front of me. Under the caption 'Bringing you Prosperity from the Ashes' was a picture of Phoenix's office building set against an unnaturally azure sky. I leafed through the document. There was lots of worthy coverage of work Phoenix Prosperity had done in helping to build the community. The savings and loan had twenty branches throughout the Phoenix region.
The chief executive, one Howard Farber, had written a statement. In it he referred to the financial difficulties that had been faced by the institution two years ago, but then mentioned a substantial capital injection which had strengthened the balance sheet. No mention of where this capital injection had come from.
I took a look at the balance sheet. Capital had grown from $10 million two years ago to about $50 million. This must reflect the new funds. Assets too had grown sharply, from $100 million two years ago to $500 million now. The report was studiously vague about what all these assets were. Perhaps Jack would be able to enlighten me.
He came into the waiting area just then. 'Hi, Paul, good to see you,' he said, holding out his hand.
I shook it, 'Nice to see you too,' I said.
'Come on through.' He took me down a narrow passageway and into a spacious office with four fully equipped dealing desks in the centre of it. 'This is it,' he said. 'Take a seat.'
'So, tell me what you do all day,' I said.
'Do you know how a savings and loan operates?' asked Jack.
'Isn't it a bit like one of our building societies?' I said.
'Well, that's how many of them started out,' he said. 'Small community savings banks, raising money locally to lend for local mortgages. Everything very conservative, everything very boring.'
'You don't look like the kind of chap who writes mortgages all day,' I said.
Jack grinned. 'I'm not. Several years ago, savings and loans were deregulated. Now they can invest in all kinds of things: speculative real estate, eurobonds, even junk bonds. We can make all kinds of interesting investments.'