Mrs. Z puts on a video about the relevance of classic British literature in current times, which gives me more time to think about things that aren't English. Before I know it, the bell rings and I’m sneaking my not-quite-two-page report onto her desk, and slipping out of class. The ache in my head tells me I wasn't as sneaky as I thought and laser eyes are x-raying my skull again, but at least I make it out without having to talk to her.
Kira sits across the room from me in art. We don't have assigned seats, so for some reason it annoys me a little. Not that I have a reason to be annoyed, but I am. Once the final bell rings, I forget all about her and everything else in my life as I head to the locker room. Might make me sound like a nutcase, but it's alive with electricity. Every guy on the team is excited for the season to start, making claims on which titles we'll get and how the whole conference will be owned by us.
"Do you even realize how much ass we're going to kick this year?" Jackson asks Travis and me.
"Hell yeah," I reply as we smack hands. This is my place. My element. Where I know I belong. Where I dominate.
Technically there are tryouts, but we all know who will play what. I'm the starting point guard. Even as a junior, I started for varsity. Freshmen and sophomore years I came off the bench, but always for varsity. I've never played JV in my life.
I love it. Scanning the court, reading my players, and coming up with the perfect play. Having control unlike I do in the rest of my life.
"Who do you think for backup center this year?" I ask Trav as we head to the gym.
He shrugs. "I don't need a backup. I'm a ninja. I can play the whole game, every game."
"Ha, ha. Seriously though. Chambers has the height. Hopefully he got a little more coordinated since last year."
Travis nods his approval, but doesn't reply. Coach Blake stands at the center of the gym looking as pumped as I feel.
"All right, Lancers! Whose year is this?"
"OURS!" We bounce on our feet, yelling so loud the voices vibrate through me, making me feel electric in a way I haven't felt in a long time. I love playing no matter what, but this is the start of the season. My senior year, and nothing can dim the lights shining down on it.
"Whose house is this?"
"OURS!" Another vibration. A few fists rise above us.
"And we won't only defend our house this season, but we'll what?"
"OWN THEIRS, TOO!" My heart bounces like a basketball against the gym floor.
"How do we do that?"
"WORK HARD!" The freshmen line the walls, gawking at us, like we're NBA players or something, making my adrenaline pump harder.
"That's what I like to hear! Get to the wall and everyone start doing their lines!"
In this moment, it's like everything else I have to deal with is worth it. I get this in return. I wonder if it felt this good for Dad. If he felt almost high every time he stepped on the court, even if it wasn't for a game.
All I know is this is my house. This is where I'm alive.
***
My hair is wet from showering when I walk out of the locker room after practice. Mel and I always meet each other in the parking lot, so I head straight there.
"You doing anything?" Travis asks. "Want to chill?"
"You're not going to be with Trina?"
"Nah." He shakes his head. They're usually together as much as Mel and I. I almost ask him about it, but he doesn't give me a chance. "She's busy, I guess, and I'm trying to avoid the parentals. They want to 'talk' and that's never good for me." Travis laughs.
"Oh. Sorry. Can't go. Going to try to make up with my girl. Take her out or something." I'm still feeling like a live wire. This is just what I needed to feel on track again, the distraction to make everything else disappear.
"Fine, I see how you are." Trav holds out his fist and I bump it. "I'm out. See ya later." He runs down the hall ahead of me, probably meeting up with the other guys or something.
When my feet hit the pavement, I stop for a minute, and Mel's voice floats toward me. She's standing in the parking lot talking to Devin. He graduated last year, but his sister, Sam, is in cheer with Mel. Since he picks up and drops off Sam sometimes for school, I guess he's doing it after practice, too.
"Shut up," Mel laughs, playfully pushing him. Devin crosses his arms and leans against his Mustang and says something I can't hear. My muscles tense. I know Mel. Know how she flirts because she used to do it with me.
Mel crosses her arms and pretends to pout. Devin steps closer like he's going to console my girl and she smiles. Yeah, so not going to happen.
"Mel!" I jog toward her. I nod my head at Devin as I step between them, hugging her. Is it me or is she not giving me the same death grip she usually does? Suddenly, not liking my back to Devin, I let go and face him.
"I'll see you later, Melanie," Devin says, ignoring me completely. And then he turns, walks around his car, gets in, and drives off.
Rigor mortis has now set into my limbs. My basketball high has been thoroughly killed. "What's up with that?" I'm really trying not to sound accusatory.
"Nothing." Mel pushes up on her toes and kisses me. She sounds normal. Happy to see me. Maybe I was freaking out for nothing. My muscles loosen again and I feel like an idiot. They were just talking. It's not like they haven't talked before, or like Devin doesn't have a reason to be here. Mel wouldn't do that. She's the one who always wants to be with me and I'm the one who's been more standoffish lately.
"How was practice?" I ask, still holding on to her waist.
"Awesome."
"Mine too. We—"
"Is Travis with Trina, do you know?"
Okay. So obviously we're not talking about my practice. "I don't think so. She's busy, I guess. He asked me to hang out and then took off when I said I wanted to see you." These past couple days have been crazy for me. I really want to get back to normal. Mel is normal. "But whatever. Let's go somewhere. We can grab something to eat or whatever." I lean forward to kiss her again, but she stops me.
"I can't... I need to find Trina. We're supposed to hang out."
"Oh." I step away a little. "Can't you tell her I want to see you? I'm sure she'll get it... I know I've been kind of a dick lately and I want to make it up to you."
She's not really listening, her fingers moving over the screen on her phone. "I can't, Carter. Not today, 'kay? I don't wanna ditch Trina."
"Whatever." I take another step back, trying to show her it doesn't bother me, when really it does.
"I'll see you tomorrow, okay?" With another quick kiss, Mel is jogging toward school again. I shove my hands into my pockets, leaning against her brand new VW Bug. What just happened? I mean, I get it. She wants to hang with her friend, but I ditched Trav for her. She thinks I've been weird lately so I try to be sweet and do something nice, and she can't get away from me fast enough.
Whatever. I pull out my phone to text Travis.
CHANGE OF PLANS. WHERE ARE U?
Before I look like an idiot loitering around my girlfriend's car in the parking lot, I get into my truck. It's an older Ford. Not old old, but not brand new like my friends' cars. I wait a few minutes, and when he doesn't text back, I send him another.