“You know, I did one in college with my boyfriend at the time. I had to threaten to file charges against him because he wanted to sell it on the Internet. I ended up giving him a chunk of change to buy the tape from him. You’re having your fifteen minutes of fame. Don’t do something stupid you’ll regret later,” she advised.
“Actually, I was going to ask you if you wanted to do it with me. We have everything we need,” I offered, waving my arm at the suite.
We about lost the cameraman when Sunny turned to him and asked, “What do you think, Ed? Would you help us out?”
“Sunny, I would make a run at you ... if I was a few years older.”
“If you were a few years older, I’d let you catch me. Now let’s do this so I can get on national TV again.”
WHEN I CAME BACK TO the suite, I found everyone watching a movie. I told Pastor Dan that the other suite had an extra bedroom. I would be using one, and either he or Mrs. Kelly could use the other bedroom. I wasn’t really surprised when Mrs. Kelly volunteered.
I went back to the other suite and called Sandy.
“Hey, David, I see you got us on TV again. Range Sports came off looking like saints. You’re smooth, my man.”
“Don’t thank me. I’m just the trained monkey that delivers the lines. Call Deb Thomas at Ford and Tom Dole. They gave me the talking points. Without them, you’d be yelling at me.”
“I’ll have Devin call and thank them. The board of directors has been calling him all evening with praise. Do you realize what it would cost for a one-minute ad?” she asked.
“Then you might be willing to help me out some more? I fed the kids a few times and billed it to the room. I hope that’s okay.”
“It’s more than okay. I’ll call our travel department on Monday and warn them the bill’s coming.”
We chatted for a few more minutes. I checked my email and found an email from Kendal. It had an attachment that was her call to Greg. I opened it up and listened.
Kendaclass="underline" “Hey, Greg, David asked me to call and let you know he’s been asked to do a sex tape.”
Greg: “I bet. David looks for any excuse to run around naked.”
Angie (muffled): “Put it on speaker. I want to hear about David being naked.”
Greg: {sigh} “Kendal, you’re on speaker with Angie.”
Angie: “What’s David doing to get naked?”
Kendaclass="underline" “They want him to do a sex tape with Hannah Minacci.”
Greg: {moan}
Angie: “I think Greg’s crying. Make sure you send us a copy.”
I went to sleep a happy man.
Saturday December 28
I WOKE EARLY AND WENT to the gym. When I got back, I found Pastor Dan in the living room waiting on me.
“Do you think we could rent a couple of snowmobiles and go open the cabins?”
I looked out the window and the snow had stopped. It was still overcast, but it looked like the worst was over.
“That sounds like a good idea. When did you want to go?”
“As soon as possible would be good.”
I nodded. I went and took a shower. We had some fruit left over, so I ate a couple of bananas and drank water to rehydrate. I got out my Range gear. I came out ready to go and saw Pastor Dan had on jeans and a heavy coat. We went down to the front desk and they told us that because of the conditions they couldn’t rent the snowmobiles. They did rent us a Jeep that they assured us could get through the snow.
The cabins were a mile and a half from the lodge. They each slept five in three bedrooms. One adult and four kids would make up each one. The main cabin was just one room. It had the kitchen, dining area and great room with a huge fireplace.
We couldn’t get into the cabins because of the snow, so Pastor Dan showed me where a shovel was in the garage. He pulled out a snow blower to make paths between each building. I shoveled out the snow in front of the doors and got into each one so I could turn up the heat. It was all on propane.
The main cabin had a root cellar. Pastor Dan said I needed to get in there to turn on the electricity so the blowers for the furnaces would work. I dug out the entrance to the cellar and found it pitch black. I went back to the garage where I’d seen a flashlight and used it so I could see in the root cellar. The walls of the cellar were made from local rock. Pastor Dan had said the cabins were from the late 1950s. Along one wall was a sturdy workbench with tools hanging neatly above it. Someone cared for their equipment.
I found the main breaker and turned on the power. As I started to the door, there was a rumble. All morning the ski patrol had been setting off charges to cause little controlled avalanches. This sounded different and was getting louder. Pastor Dan was yelling as I stuck my head out of the cellar door. There was a wall of snow crashing towards the house. The door to the cabin slammed, so I knew Pastor Dan had made it inside. I slammed the cellar door shut and looked for cover in case the worst happened. I crawled under the bench.
The wall of snow slammed into the side of the cabin. I heard a great creaking noise and then timbers snapping. It sounded like the cabin was collapsing in on itself. Suddenly there was silence. My first thought was that I was buried alive. My second was of Pastor Dan.
“Pastor Dan! Dan, are you okay?” I yelled.
I started to wiggle out from under the workbench when the explosion went off. The propane tank had been torn from its foundation and the tank punctured. The fire I had set in the main cabin’s fireplace was enough to cause the explosion. The floor joists gave way and the cabin fell into the root cellar. The workbench saved me. My ears were ringing, and I couldn’t hear anything. I was screaming for Pastor Dan.
The explosion and resulting smoke cloud could probably be seen from town. I was sure help was on its way. My first thought was to get out from under the workbench, but there was no way out. The sheer weight of everything had me pinned under the bench. I was living my worst nightmare.
I still had vivid memories of being a toddler in a stroller. Mom was pushing me into an elevator at one of the local department stores. It was Christmastime, and the store was packed. The elevator filled with people all around me, closing in. I freaked out and tried to crawl out, but everyone was packed in. To this day, I had a hard time getting into an elevator.
I tried to take my mind off my situation by thinking of Pastor Dan. I was worried he was hurt. If I couldn’t help him, I needed to take an inventory of what was going on with me. The first thing I realized was that my head was uncovered. I reached into my pocket and put my ski mask on. The head was one of the places that you could lose heat rapidly. I pulled my hood up and cinched it tight. I sure hoped that the Range Sports gear was as good as advertised. There was a bad feeling in my gut that I might be trapped here for the foreseeable future.
THERE WAS NO WAY TO tell how long I’d been entombed. I knew it had been hours. I’d survived a minor panic attack earlier and had been focused on keeping calm. I tried to drop into my running state of mind that helped me to work out problems. I found myself looking back over the past year. The fateful party eight months ago was the crucible.
‘Crucible’ was such a good word. It means a set of circumstances in which someone was subject to forces that tested them severely and often created something new as a result. The day Lily almost died set in motion the things that changed my life. Without that moment, I would never have gone to my Uncle John’s farm, where he transformed me in both body and soul.
I found myself reexamining the goals I’d set, and myself. The four goals I live by were: to be financially secure, physically fit, have a solid moral foundation and have a healthy sex life. It struck me that I did not have a goal to be in love.