When she saw the steakhouse, she was relieved. We sat down and I told everyone I’d be right back. I walked around and found Ty Wilson with his parents and his two younger brothers. I pulled up a chair, and Ty’s parents looked at me funny. I winked at Ty.
“I see you boys are eating all the appetizers,” I said to his brothers.
They looked at me, and then at Ty. He gave them a stern look.
“Tell the man how you’re hogging all the food,” Ty told them.
The little guy looked me in the eye and got serious. He had to be about five.
“Mister, my daddy said I could have it. He told me that it was better than Momma’s cooking, and to get it before it was gone.”
The middle boy looked to be about twelve.
“I know who you are,” he told me.
“You do? Do you have my football picture on your wall?”
Ty started laughing at me. He told his parents who I was.
“Speaking of football, do you want to go to football camp with me this summer?” I asked. “My dad’s working on getting a bus. He’s taking a bunch of us and if there are extra seats, he said I could ask you guys at Washington if you wanted to go.”
Ty looked excited, but his dad stepped in.
“When, where, and how much?”
“Camp is June 11th through 15th, but we would need to leave a day early. It’s at the University of Kentucky,” I said.
I told them how much. The price wasn’t too bad, because you stayed in the dorms and ate at the cafeteria. I also told them my dad’s idea, and Mr. Wilson said he might be willing to go as a chaperone.
I got back to the table and Jim was curious.
“Was that Ty?”
“Yeah. I was telling him about football camp. You’re invited, by the way.”
I spent the next fifteen minutes explaining what was going on.
WE’D JUST FINISHED dessert and were deciding where to go dancing when Cassidy’s phone rang. She looked at the caller ID.
“It’s the police. Hello ... Did they lock the house? Okay, I’ll go home ... I don’t have that kind of money ... What makes you think David would loan it to you? No, I’m not going to ask him ... Do you want me to call Dad?”
Cassidy hung up.
“Sorry, guys, but I have to go home. The cops are waiting for me.”
On the way to Cassidy’s, we got the story. It seems a drunk Tommy Cox decided to pee off the front porch. He exposed himself to the neighbors’ kids. One of the dads took exception and kicked the shit out of him. This had brought the cops, who found a house full of junior ass-hats who couldn’t keep a civil tongue. That must have pissed the police off because they arrested everybody.
My phone went off. It was the police. I smiled.
“My turn,” I said as I answered. “Hello.”
“David, can you come bail us out?” Tracy asked.
“Let me guess, you were at Brad Hope’s party.”
“How did you know?”
“I was there when they were setting up, and saw the idiots who were running it.”
“I didn’t want to go, but I was bored.”
“How many do I need to bail out, and how much will it cost me?”
“There’s a total of twenty-three at a hundred apiece. Brad would cost you $500, and Tommy’s not going anywhere. If you got us all out, it’d be $2,800.”
“How many do I actually like or am indifferent about?”
“Eight girls, if you count Lisa Felton, and a couple of boys, so, ten. The others are jerks, but they made me ask for all of them.”
“If I get the ten of you out of jail, will you all come over to Cassidy’s and help her clean the house?”
“Yes. Just come get me.”
“Put the Doughnut Patrol on.”
“This is Officer Delaney.”
“Hey, Billy! David Dawson here.”
Billy Delaney was three years older than Greg and they were friends. He also knew me from the football games where he worked security. I always made sure the off-duty police officers were fed. Who knew when you might need a ticket fixed?
He laughed.
“Are they trying to get you to spring them?”
“Yep, what kind of deal can you make me?” I asked him.
“For the ones who were jerks, I want full boat. They pissed me off. There are about twelve I would let go on your say-so. That is if they’ll answer a summons if the District Attorney decides to prosecute.”
“Can you provide transport back to the house so they can clean up their mess?”
“I like how you think. Community service will probably get the DA to ignore them. Sure. Do you want them all, or just the good ones?”
“Just the good ones, and don’t let them know you’re letting them out for free. I want to make them work it off.”
“Oh, something else: none of them can drive home. You should call their parents and have them come get them.”
“Billy, that’s what I’ll do. Thanks, man! Let me know if you ever need anything.”
We dropped Cassidy off at her house. The ass-hats had broken the back door, so one of the officers had to stay with the house. I asked Harper if she wanted to go to jail with me. She was now looking at this as a grand adventure and wanted the full treatment. So I had the cop cuff her and give us a ride to the police station while Jim stayed with Cassidy.
Harper had forgotten that I knew she didn’t have any panties on. I teased her all the way to the station. I never made direct contact, but she was squirming by the time we got there. They took her in and took her mug shot as a souvenir. I slipped the guys a twenty for beer later for helping me out.
Billy played it up when he had all the ones who were going free in a conference room.
“Mr. Dawson has agreed to pay your fines if you agree to go back to the Hope residence and pick up the mess. If you’re willing to do that, please raise your hand.”
Harper was hanging onto my arm when she saw that most of the girls were JV cheerleaders and they were all smiling at me. Of the three guys, one decided he would rather rot in jail than to have to help clean up.
“Pete, take this one back,” Billy told one of the other cops.
Everyone else was loaded onto a sheriff’s bus and taken to Cassidy’s house. On the ride over, Billy told them that I had to call their parents and have them come get them as a condition of their release. Harper accused me of just wanting the girl’s numbers. I showed her I already had six of the eight. On the ride to the house, I called all their parents.
Jim had gone out and rented a carpet cleaner from a local grocery store. One of the boys was handy and offered to fix the back door. Turns out one of the girls had parents who owned a carpet-cleaning business, so she took over the machine. The rest were either given trash bags or a sponge and bucket.
Jim and I hauled the keg to the backyard. It was a shame, as there was over half of it left. I called Billy back and told him of our problem. He offered to take care of it since they were all going off duty in an hour.
Parents started showing up and pitching in. When they would arrive, I would take them aside and tell them that I got their kid out of jail for free, and they just needed to get Tony Hope’s house clean to skate. When they heard they didn’t have to come up with a hundred bucks, they all seemed relieved.
Billy and one of his buddies ‘confiscated’ the beer. The next time I saw Billy, he told me that they’d had a good time. He said if I ever needed anything like that taken care of again, to call him. They even did Brad a favor and returned the keg, tap and bucket to the liquor store. Maybe he could apply the deposit toward his bail.
WHEN WE FINALLY GOT home, Harper was a horny little minx. At Cassidy’s, every time I went by her I would caress her thigh to tease her. I told Tracy to tease her too, and she got a few of the girls to help. Harper dragged me upstairs and had my pants unzipped and a condom on in record time. We didn’t end up going all night but come Sunday morning Harper was a relaxed, happy girl. I think Mr. Happy retreated into a coma.