“I have to do this,” he said, and I knew what he meant. His eyes flicked up, seeking permission. “I really have to do this, baby.”
Pleasure shot through me, but so did trepidation. “I haven’t…I mean, no one has done that before.”
“I know.” He sounded proud and possessive. “It’ll be amazing. I promise.”
I nodded and let my head fall back against the blankets. I knew what to expect. I wasn’t that naive or dumb, but when I felt his finger brush over me, I nearly came right then from the barely-there touch. Just a brush of one finger and my body started shaking and my hips rose up to meet his touch.
“So responsive,” he murmured, slipping one finger inside, causing my back to arch as a soft cry was wrenched from my throat.
Then his head dipped and my back came clear off the covers. The slight stubble on his jaw was tantalizing against my inner thighs. My entire body went rigid and my senses overloaded the moment his mouth touched me there in the sweetest kiss possible.
“Do you get it?” he asked again.
My fingers dug into the blankets as he did something truly wicked with his finger. “Kyler…”
“You don’t deserve to be fucked like a one-night stand.” He kissed the inside of my thigh, and I melted. “You deserve pleasure. It should be all about you, always about you.”
And then his mouth was on me again, his tongue and his fingers. Pleasure coiled tight, and the first pulse was sweet and sharp. My hips rocked shamelessly against what he was doing and his growl of approval sent me right over the edge. My body shattered, broke apart into thousands of little pieces as I cried out his name over and over in a way I might actually be embarrassed about later. It was the most amazing, most complete thing I’d ever felt. It was like flying and falling at the same time.
He rode out the storm, not stopping until the last shudder rolled through me and my breathing began to return to normal. He kissed my thigh again, and then rose up over me, planting his hands on either side of my head. I opened my eyes, dazed.
His grin was part-smug. “Told you it would be amazing.”
“It was…completely amazing.” I reached up, running my fingers over his jaw and then down his throat, his chest. My gaze dropped, and I could see the bulge in his sweats. I slipped my hand down his stomach, but he caught my wrist before I could reach what I wanted, and he rolled onto his side. I turned my head to him, confused. “Don’t you want…?”
His brows rose.
Heat swamped my face, which was so stupid considering what he’d just done. “Don’t you want to go further? I mean, you didn’t come and…” And I just wanted to stop talking all together. This was so embarrassing.
Kyler chuckled as he gathered me in his arms, fitting my back against his front, and I could feel him, still sprouting a raging hard-on. “I’m okay. This was about you.”
“You don’t feel ‘okay.’” I wiggled my behind, and he groaned. A smile pulled at my lips. “See?”
“Yeah, I see and I feel.”
I tipped my head back so I could see him and I bit down on my lip, hoping my next question wouldn’t sound incredibly lame. “Don’t you want to?”
“Don’t I want to?” Disbelief colored his voice. A hand fell to my waist as he pushed his hips forward, grinding against my rear in a way that had me aching all over again. “I want nothing more than to get inside of you and stay there.”
A shudder worked its way down my spine. “Then why aren’t you?”
He smoothed my hair off my cheek, tucking it back behind my ear. “I wanted to do that for you and I…well, I usually don’t do that with other girls.”
My stomach soured at the mention of other girls, but I ignored it. “Are you blushing?”
“No,” he huffed. “I don’t blush.”
“Uh-huh, must be the shadows, then.” I folded my arms across my chest. “So you don’t do that? Because it felt like you really had a lot of experience with that.”
He laughed again as he sat up, reaching for a blanket. He pulled it over us, tucking it around me. “I didn’t say I never did it.”
I considered that. There were a few girls over the years that he had hung out with for a while. I could imagine that he must’ve done that for them, but that still didn’t answer why he hadn’t gone further with me. I wished my brain would shut up because it was really starting to get on my nerves.
Kyler’s hand slid around my waist. “I want to, Syd. I really do. So don’t start filling your head up with bullshit. I just wanted to do that for you.” He paused, pressing his lips against my cheek. “And there’s the fact that the condoms are upstairs and walking is going to be difficult for me right now.”
I giggled, unable to help myself. “I’m on the pill.”
He groaned. “You’re so not helping.”
“You always use condoms, right? Please tell me you’ve used condoms.”
“I’ve never not used a condom.”
Relief washed over me. “So…”
“Syd, baby, you are killing me.”
I grinned as I rolled onto my back. “There’re other things I can do, you know. I’ve done other stuff.”
His chest rose sharply and he stilled. “You don’t owe it to me, Syd. That’s not why I did that.”
I thought about the few times I’d given head or hand jobs. All of them had been with Nate throughout those years in high school and whatnot. I’d done it because I’d felt like I had to or Nate would’ve moved on. Such a stupid thing to worry about, and I honestly would’ve been better off if he had, but all that was beside the point. I wasn’t sure if I’d do it as well as everyone else, but it wasn’t because I owed Kyler.
Wiggling onto my side, I tipped my head back and met his gaze. The blanket slipped past my shoulders, but I barely even noticed. “I want to do it. Not because I feel like I need to, but because I want to.”
A muscle ticked in his jaw as he lifted himself up on one arm, and I thought he might run away. Taking a deep breath and mustering up my courage before I lost it, I placed my hand between his legs and cupped him. His entire body jerked as if he’d been shocked. I forced my eyes up, meeting his. “Are you going to tell me no?”
His eyes looked almost black, and what felt like forever passed before he reached down, placing his hand over mine. He didn’t say anything, but he rocked his hips forward, pressing himself into my hand.
That was answer enough for me.
Chapter 15
Kyler
Honest to God, this hadn’t been my intention when I started this. Hell, I wasn’t sure I even knew what I was starting when I’d kissed her, except that I wanted to and I wanted her to stop crying, to understand that she deserved so much more than what she’d been asking for.
But now?
Yeah, all thoughts of pleasing her, and then going to sleep—albeit uncomfortably—jumped right out the window the second she gripped me in her small hand. Even with my hand over hers, I knew I shouldn’t let her do this. I’d lost count of how many times I’d gotten a hand job and it seemed to go against nature to refuse one, but Syd…?
It was like my wildest fantasies coming true all over again, and with her taste still lingering in my mouth, I’d never been harder in my life. No one, no girl I’d ever known, compared to how she felt around my finger and against my mouth.
But this was Sydney, beautiful-as-fuck Syd.
She peered up at me through those dark lashes and, aw hell, I was always a sucker for those big blue eyes of hers. A small, tentative grin appeared on her swollen lips. “I’ll take that as a yes?”