The only way you can get stuck in a process like this is if you try to run it rigidly. You say to a client "Well, do you have a part of you that you consider your creative part?" If they look you straight in the eye and say "No," then start making up other words. "Do you realize that you have a part of you that is responsible for all glunk activities? And the way you contact that is by touching your temple!" You can make up anything, as long as the result is that they generate new ways of accomplishing the intention. That is as limitless as your own creativity. And if you don't have a creative part, create one for yourself!
There are a lot of other ways that this could have not worked, too. Do you realize that that's what people in here are doing again? You all saw it work. And you're asking "What are all the ways it could have not worked?" I'm sure you could manufacture a hundred ways to make this not work. And in fact many of you will. The point is, when you do something that doesn't work, do something else. If you keep doing something else, something will work. We want you to make it work with each other so that you have a reference experience. Find someone you don't know to be your partner and try reframing. We'll be around if you get stuck.
Reframing Outline
(1) Identify the pattern (X) to be changed.
(2) Establish communication with the part responsible for the pattern.
(a) "Will the part of me that runs pattern X communicate with me in consciousness?"
(b) Establish the "yes-no" meaning of the signal.
(3) Distinguish between the behavior, pattern X, and the intention of the part that is responsible for the behavior.
(a) "Would you be willing to let me know in consciousness what you are trying to do for me by pattern X?"
(b) If you get a "yes" response, ask the part to go ahead and communicate its intention.
(c) Is that intention acceptable to consciousness?
(4) Create new alternative behaviors to satisfy the intention. At the unconscious level the part that runs pattern X communicates its intention to the creative part, and selects from the alternatives that the creative part generates. Each time it selects an alternative it gives the "yes" signal.
(5) Ask the part "Are you willing to take responsibility for generating the three new alternatives in the appropriate context?"
(6) Ecological check. "Is there any other part of me that objects to the three new alternatives?" If there is a "yes" response, recycle to step (2) above.
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Once at a workshop for a TA institute, I said that I believed that every part of every person is a valuable resource. One woman said "That's the stupidest thing I ever heard!"
"I didn't say it was true. I said if you believe that as a therapist you'll get a lot further."
"Well, that's totally ridiculous."
"What leads you to believe that that's ridiculous?"
"I've got parts that are not worth a dime. They just get in my way. That's all they do." "Name one,"
"I have a part that no matter what I do, all the time I'm trying to do anything, it just totally tells me I can't do it, and that I'm going to fail. It makes everything twice as hard as it needs to be."
She said that she had been a high school dropout. When she decided to go back to high school, that part said "You'll never be able to do it; you're not good enough; you're too stupid. It'll be embarrassing. You won't be able to do it." But she did it. And even when she did that, when she decided to go on to college, that part said "You're not going to be able to do it."
So I said "Well, I'd like to speak to that part directly." That always gets TA people, by the way. They don't have that in their model. Then I look over their left shoulder while I talk to them and that really drives them nuts. But it's a very effective anchoring mechanism, because from that time on, every time you look over their left shoulder, only that part can hear.
"I know that that part of you is doing something very important for you, and it is very sneaky about how it does it. Even if you don't appreciate it, I do. I'd like to tell that part that if it were willing to tell her conscious mind what it's doing for her, then perhaps it could get some of the appreciation that it deserves."
Then I had her go inside and ask the part what it was doing for her that was positive. It came right out and said "I was motivating you." After she told me that, she said "Well, I think that's weird." I said "Well, you know, I don't think it would be possible for you to come up here right now and work in front of this entire group." She stood up defiantly and walked across the room and sat down. Those of you who have studied strategies and understand the phenomenon of polarity response will recognize that this part was simply a Neuro Linguistic Programmer that understood utilization. It knew that if it said "Aw, you can go to college, you can do it," she'd say "No, I can't do it." However, if it said to her "You're not going to be able to cut the grade," then she would say "Oh, yeah?" and she would go out and do it.
Now what would have happened to that woman if we had somehow gotten that part to stop doing that, but without changing anything else? ... She wouldn't have had any way to motivate herself! That's why we have the ecological check. The ecological check is a way of being sure that the new behavior fits with all the other parts of a person. Up to step six we have essentially created a communication system between the person's consciousness and their unconscious part that runs the pattern of behavior they are trying to change. And we have succeeded in finding more effective alternative behaviors in that area. I don't know, of course, when I've finished that, whether this is going to be beneficial for them as a total person.
Let me give you another example of this. I've seen mousy little people who went to assertiveness training and became aggressive—so aggressive that their husband or wife left them and none of their friends will talk to them anymore. They go around yelling at people and being extremely assertive, so abrasive that they no longer have friends. That's sort of a polarity flip, or a swing of the pendulum. One way to make sure that doesn't happen is to have some device like the ecological check.
When you have completed communication and created alternative new behaviors for the part that originally ran the problem behavior, you ask for all other parts to consider the repercussions of these new patterns of behavior. "Is there any other part of me that has any objection to the new choices in my behavior?" If another part objects, it will typically use a distinctive signal. It may be in the same system, but it will be distinctive as far as body part. If suddenly there's tension in the shoulders, you say "Good, I have a limited conscious mind. Would you increase the tension in my shoulders if it means 'Yes, there is an objection,' and decrease it if it means 'No.'" If there is an objection, that's a delightful outcome. That means there is another part, another resource, that's active in your behalf in making this change. You are at step two again, and you recycle.
One of the things that I think distinguishes a really exquisite communicator from one who is not, is to be precise about your use of language: use language in a way that gets you what you want. People who are sloppy with language get sloppy responses. Virginia Satir is precise about her use of langauge, and Milton Erickson is even more precise. If you are precise about the way you phrase questions, you will get precise kinds of information back. For example, somebody here said "Go inside and ask if the part of you responsible for this behavior is willing to change?" And they got a "No" response. It makes perfect sense! They didn't offer it any new choices. They didn't say "Are you willing to communicate?" They said "Are you willing to change?"