“No, no, babe, that’s not it at all. I didn’t lie to you, I’ve never lied to you.”
“Bullshit!”
I could tell from his expression my language in the room had been surprising him. He stepped closer, trying to pull me into his arms, but I stepped back with Jackie. “Cassidy, that hadn’t begun until I started coming around again after I’d moved out. It only lasted for a month and a half. I was just trying to forget you. I thought you’d led me on; you know everything Tyler told me when we lived together and at the ranch! I was pissed, and I wanted to get back at you and forget you; that was my way.”
The room fell silent for a few moments while I tried to swallow the lump in my throat. “That is the most pathetic, disgusting thing I’ve ever heard.”
“Cassidy—”
“How many of those girls did you treat the way you’ve been treating me? Did you tell all of them you love them? That they’re perfect? I swear to God, Gage, I knew you were experienced but I had no idea you had a fucking schedule!”
“I have never told another girl that I loved them. Only you, Cassidy, it’s only ever been you.” His green eyes were pained and his shoulders looked like they were hunched in.
“Gage, do you really expect me to believe you? Was this all a game for you? Innocent, naïve Cassidy got dumped by her boyfriend because she wouldn’t have sex with him; let’s see how long it’ll take me to bang her.”
He flinched like I’d slapped him, but before he could say anything I gasped loudly.
“Oh my God. How many of them did you screw without a condom? Did you ‘just not think about it’ with all of them too?!”
“This is getting awkward,” Jackie said when Ethan walked in and gave me a double take as I said those last few sentences.
“Babe!” Gage no longer looked just hurt; he was pissed too. “How could you even think that? Are you serious right now, Cassidy?! I have never—”
“How do I know that you haven’t given me some disease, Gage?!”
“Cass!”
“Get out.” I kept one hand gripping Jackie and let the other point toward her bedroom door. “Get out, Gage.”
“Darlin’,” he said softly, and took two steps toward me, one arm extended.
“Don’t fucking touch me!” I screeched at him. “Get. Out!”
“C’mon, Gage,” Ethan said as he slowly dragged him toward the bedroom door, “you need to give her time alone, let’s go back out here.”
“Cassidy, I swear, it’s not like you think. I love you.”
“Let’s go, man.” Ethan grabbed his upper arm and pulled harder.
Gage stared at me with the most devastating expression as he stumbled behind Ethan out of the room.
“How could he?” I asked Jackie as soon as the door was shut behind them.
“Come here, Cass.” Jackie pulled me toward the bed and sat me down. “I know you probably don’t want to hear this, so let me start by saying that I agree with you, it is gross that he had days for girls. I think he’s a pig for that, but, sweetie”—she brushed some of my hair away from my face—“the rest of it? You can’t really be mad at him for that. Because weren’t you doing something similar? You thought Gage didn’t want anything to do with you, so you started dating Tyler. And while you two weren’t having sex, you made out all the time and you were trying to get yourself ready to go there with Tyler.”
I wanted to be mad at her for taking Gage’s side, but as always, I knew Jackie was seeing things in a way I couldn’t.
“I’ve known Gage for almost three years. He’s had a couple girlfriends, dated a few more girls, but he’s never been in love with any of them. He’s never once treated any of them the way he treats you. Like I said, what he did was not all right. But at least talk to him about it. Don’t break up with him because of something stupid he did while trying to get over you.”
“But her, Jackie? Why did she have to sleep with Gage and then Tyler?”
“I know, I was about ready to go off on her, but Gage didn’t know Tyler was going to do that to you. Don’t hold this against Gage.” She was silent for a minute before talking again. “I can tell you’re not considering my advice, so hear this: everyone does stupid shit when they’re upset. Doesn’t matter what, could be indulging in pints of Ben and Jerry’s, or it could be what Gage did. I did something along the lines of what Gage did once. I dated this guy Anthony all four years of high school; he left for UT right away, but I went to a community college for a year before I decided to come here too. I thought we’d be together forever, but he ended up finding someone else and told me after I’d already started school here. I was so upset that I went and slept with his roommate, who just happened to be his twin brother, and made sure Anthony found out about it.”
“You didn’t!” I said, my mouth wide open, and then started bursting into laughter.
Jackie giggled next to me. “I did!”
“Did his brother not care that you were using him?”
“Nope, he was so mad at Anthony for what he did to me, he was game as soon as I mentioned it. Actually, he and I remained good friends and he’s the one who introduced me to Ethan . . . it’s Adam.”
“You had sex with Adam?!” I whispered, horrified. How were she and Dana friends? How were Adam and Ethan friends? “Do Ethan and Dana know what happened? And where’s this Anthony guy?”
Jackie laughed harder and wiped tears from her eyes. “Yes, everyone knows what happened. Adam had actually already told Ethan about me and everything that had happened; Ethan still wanted to meet me. Dana didn’t like me at first last year when she and Adam started dating, but after she hung out with me and Ethan she got over it really quick. And Anthony decided he wanted to go into the army, so he left after his second fall semester.”
“Oh my word.”
“I know.” She took a deep breath in and out to calm her laughing. “All that is to say, people do stupid shit when they’re upset. Don’t be too hard on Gage. He’s not cheating on you, and remember, I get to hear what goes on behind enemy lines since I’m dating one of his best friends. He fell for you the moment he saw you. I didn’t have to hear that from you to know it; he told Ethan too. We were all just waiting for you guys to come together.”
“Ugh, I feel so stupid for overreacting!” I jumped off the bed, pulling her with me. “Thank you, Jackie, what would I do without you?” I hugged her quickly.
“Well, let’s just hope Gage is still here so we don’t have to go track him down.”
Just then there was a loud crash and a few guys started yelling, one of them distinctly my Gage. “Oh shit.”
G AGE
ETHAN HAD TO pull me out of the room so I wouldn’t continue to make an ass out of myself and dig myself into an even deeper hole with Cassidy. Was it too much to ask for us to have a normal night out without something happening?
I shoved him. “Get the fuck off me.”
“You need to calm down, man.”
“I am calm! I just can’t fucking lose Cassidy because of Cara!” God, in December I thought I’d die if Cassidy ever found out because I knew she would look at me differently, and I didn’t think I’d be able to handle that, but I didn’t know just how painful that death would be. I didn’t think I could handle seeing her look at me like that one more time. Like . . . exactly what she said: she was looking at me like I disgusted her, and I couldn’t blame her; I disgusted myself. But how could she for one damn second think that I would use her as a fucking game, or that I would ever treat anyone else the way I treated her? I hadn’t made it a secret since we’d been together how special she was to me and how different she was for me. But apparently she’d never believed any of that anyway.