From What I Remember

“Me either.”

“What are you talking about? You’re like a professional boyfriend.”

“Thanks. You make me sound like a gigolo.”

“That’s not what I mean. It’s just, you always have a girlfriend. And, well, I’ve never had a boyfriend.”

“But it’s never felt like this with anyone. And it’s not just about the kiss. Although it was pretty awesome. It’s more than that. I know we don’t really know each other, but I feel completely connected to you, Kylie. I can’t explain it. I can talk to you. Really talk. Being here in Mexico, it’s been such an insane experience, in a good way. And being away from La Jolla, away from Freiburg, it’s made me realize how boring things have been. How boring I’ve gotten. I’ve built a wall around myself and I don’t let much in.”

Max stops and breathes in. I don’t say a thing.

“I don’t want that anymore. I want to explore life, and so do you. I love that about you. When we kissed, it just, I don’t know, kind of blew me away. I know it all sounds so corny, but you can’t deny it. There’s something here. And we’d be idiots to just walk away from it. I don’t think this happens all the time, Kylie. I mean, I’ve had a lot of girlfriends and I’ve never felt like this.”

“Please, do tell me more about the multiple girlfriends. That is so sexy.”

“Seriously, Kylie. I want to talk about this. And I never want to talk about anything. I don’t know if you’re scared or you don’t feel the same—”

“I feel the same,” I blurt. “And I’m scared.”

“Me too.”

Strange as it sounds, I believe him. The great Max Langston is scared and nervous, just like me. We’re not all that different.

We look at each other for a moment. I think we’re both trying to make sense of things. It’s not entirely clear, but as I look at him, it’s coming into sharper focus. I realize I’ve made my decision. I’m going for it, whatever the consequences, Lily or no Lily, even though it may only last for one night. Whatever this is, I don’t want it to end. Hopefully, I’m not being naïve. At the very least, we’ll have tonight, which is more than I would have had yesterday.

My hand slides over the wooden planks and I place it on top of his, closing the distance between us. He squeezes my hand tightly.

“I can’t make you any promises, Kylie. All I’m saying is, I like you. A lot. I can’t talk like this to anyone else. You’re funny. And smart. Very smart. And sexy. And weird. And a little bit of a head case.”

“I’m a total head case.”

“Maybe, but it’s sexy. Really sexy.”

Max flashes me a huge grin. God, he’s gorgeous.

“So can we just be with each other and see what happens?”

“Yes. We can. We totally can,” I say.

And then, without thinking too much about it, I climb on top of Max and slowly, very slowly, lean down until our faces are nearly touching. I float over him for a moment, studying his face, his features, and then I kiss him. And he kisses me. And our mouths open and the world disappears, and it’s just me and Max alone in the universe. Nothing matters except for tonight. And if that’s all we end up with after everything is said and done, it’s enough. Because right here, right now, is all that matters. I don’t want to be anyone but Kylie Flores kissing Max Langston in Ensenada.

ou having fun?” Juan whispers in my ear as we bump and grind with a bunch of boys.

“Yes,” I say, trying to sound cool, calm, and collected. But what I really want to do is shout it to the world. “Yes! Yes! Yes!”

I’ve been waiting for this moment to arrive forever, and now that it’s finally here, it’s even better than I could have imagined.

I’ve got my hands in the air, I’m dancing up a storm, sweating like a pig. Some of my moves feel a little rusty, but, frankly my dear, I don’t give a damn. I’m enjoying myself far too much to care. This is the best night of my life. If only it didn’t have to end in the morning.

I saw Kylie and Max making out on the dance floor (which was almost as shocking as the fact that I’ve been making out on the dance floor), but the next thing I knew, they were flying out the door, like fighter jets off to war. Normally, I’d be worried and chasing Kylie down the street, making sure she’s okay. But I haven’t got time for the pain. I’ve got one night only. One night to make Juan mine. And if I do, who knows what can happen next? A whole world of wonderful. At least that’s what I’m gunning for.

Hopefully, girlfriend can take care of herself while I’m taking care of myself. Or, rather, Juan is taking care of me. How awesome would that be if Kylie and I both lost our virginity on the very last night of school? Talk about bringing back a rocking souvenir from Mexico. Fingers crossed.

“Can I have this dance, gorgeous?” Juan’s high school friend Antonio asks me.

I turn to Juan to make sure it’s okay. “You cool with that?” I ask him.

“By all means. Everyone wants a piece of the beautiful new boy in town,” Juan says.

Beautiful new boy? Who? Me? I look around to make sure Juan isn’t talking about someone behind me, in front of me, to the left or the right of me. He’s not. He’s looking straight at me with his baby blues. Hot much? Be still, my heart.

Antonio, meanwhile, is quite the specimen. They know how to grow these boys in Mexico. And he wants to dance with me. Me! That is the freaking craziest thing I’ve ever heard. It’s like an alternate universe here in Ensenada, where the duckling is a swan. I’m handsome, suave, and popular. I could get used to this.

As Antonio and I shake our booties to the Scissor Sisters, I’m beginning to question my decision to return to La Jolla in the morning. I promised Kylie a ride back, but if tonight goes well, why bother trucking over the border when I’ve found paradise right here in Ensenada? Does it get any better than this? I highly doubt it.

Juan is staying in Ensenada for the summer. Maybe I should stand by my man. Though Kylie has to be at graduation, there is no pressing need for me to be there. Or anywhere but here, for that matter. The only sticking point is that Juan isn’t exactly out to his family. The macho Latino culture is a bitch. But I can help with that. Coming out is my forte.

Sure, Mom and Dad will be bummed that I’ve missed graduation, but I’ll make it up to them by losing the women’s clothes and dressing like a guy, for the first time in years. Dad will be so happy he’ll probably start handing out cigars. I just hope Kylie will understand when I hand her the passports and put her and Max on the first bus back to San Diego.

have no idea how long we’ve been making out on the pier. As far as I’m concerned, the world could end here and now. Because everything I never knew I wanted, I just received. Thank you, more please, Max Langston. We’re sitting up now, having gotten a few splinters from rolling around on the wood. I’m on Max’s lap and his arms are wrapped around my waist as his lips work their way toward my ear. His tongue plays with the fleshy part of the lobe and it’s so pleasurable I’m not sure I can bear it. Who knew my earlobes were so sensitive? How can someone be this good at kissing? His lips, his tongue, his teeth, they all work as a team, constantly doing new things, reinventing themselves. Just when I think he’s exhausted his repertoire, he’ll gently bite my lip and then his tongue will work magic somewhere new in my mouth, or on my neck, finding sweet spots I never knew existed.

“Look.” Max points out toward the horizon. His face pulls away from mine, and I feel like someone has cut off my oxygen.

And then I see it. A pod of dolphins has swum into the harbor and is leaping out of the water, spinning in the air and splashing back down. Max and I watch, mesmerized by their show. A few fireworks pop in the sky. Ensenada is going all out tonight. I guess it was a dolphin I saw earlier. My luck appears to be turning around, at least for today. I’m seeing stars, dolphins, and fireworks. And liking it. I’ve suddenly gone all soft, which is fine by me.