Willis looked at her mother. She would only need to wait. She knew her mother better than any psychiatrist or doctor.
‘That’s why I attacked myself with the razor – I thought: You don’t deserve to live. You know I adore you. You were a tiny baby, I loved you so. I held you in my arms and we danced and danced and people said to me – what a good baby, she sleeps, never cries, but she doesn’t smile, does she?’
‘Bitch…!’ the pregnant woman screamed across at them.
She was leaning towards them as far as her handcuffed arm would allow.
‘Shut up, you worthless piece of pregnant scum,’ Bella hissed across at her. She turned back to Willis. ‘You think that I want to be out of that place, that I want to move to an open prison and show how much I’ve learnt about growing vegetables, and you think I want to earn my freedom?’
‘It had crossed my mind.’
Bella laughed. It was a laugh that was high and false.
She turned a sweetened face back to Willis and reached out her hand. ‘You’re no “catch”, you know.’ Willis resisted the urge to recoil.
‘I swear your father was a good-looking man. The best-looking black guy I was ever with. And yet…’ She reached out again and pushed Willis’s hair back from her face. Willis held still. ‘I do believe you are growing into a kind of beauty – unique. Yes – I can see it now.’
Her mother’s smile slowly eased.
‘Do you have any memories of your father?’
‘There were so many men in my childhood. Not sure if he was one of them.’
‘What do you mean? I wasn’t some slut who bedded men left, right and centre.’
‘Maybe not, but you loved a fair few.’ The pregnant woman choked with laughter.
‘Well, you can judge me any way you want but I am asking for us to go forward with a new relationship now; put the past behind us. It’s not as if I can do any more harm stuck in there.’
Willis smiled. ‘We both know that’s not true. What about the member of staff who you stole the razor from?’
She shrugged. ‘He was a stupid boy who fell for the oldest trick in the book. He deserved everything he got.’
‘I bet you didn’t share that thought with your therapist?’
Bella didn’t answer. She yawned.
‘You know what? You’ve tired me out – such a shame you are not softening. It would reflect in your face more if you could find that inner peace. Inner beauty.’
‘I’ll go.’ Willis stood and picked up her coat.
‘Yes, go, but come again in two days. I didn’t get a chance to tell you something important. I wanted to show you something, to explain something.’
‘I’m listening.’
‘Don’t talk to me like that – with such disdain. That’s what you’ve always done. You forget, I gave birth to you. You came out of my vagina. You were the result of passion and wild sex and fun. Does that mean anything, Miss Sourface?’
Willis turned to go.
‘I’m sorry.’ Bella started crying. ‘I’m so sorry. Please come back and see me. I want to tell you all about your father. I have photos to show you. You could find him if you wanted. I’d like to see him again before I die.’
Willis stared at her mother. She didn’t know whether to believe her or not. But she knew that behind every lie of her mother’s there was a grain of truth and a whole heap of mischief.
Chapter 20
The last few lorry drivers were getting their vehicles ready to hit the road in the morning. In their silent routines they walked around, checking their load was secure. Their quiet concentration was interrupted by the noise of traffic on the roads nearby and by the primary school when the children were let out for morning break, bursting into the playground in a joyful mass scream. Dominik, with white goods from Poland on his lorry, went to empty his rubbish in the bins at the corner of the car park. He came out of his cab with three carrier bags full and walked across to the bins. It felt good to stretch his legs before he started his long day’s drive to the North. As he approached the waste bins he saw the bare legs of a woman poking out from behind the bottle bank.
Dominik had been allowed to leave by the time Carter got there. The patrol officers had stayed at the scene to protect it.
‘We often see her – her name is Lolly. She hangs about here and offers sex to the lorry drivers. We’ve had to move her on sometimes when she gets to be a nuisance. But she never meant any harm – she just needed her fix too much – only a matter of time, I suppose.’
Carter knelt down beside her.
‘This is hers…’ The patrol officer handed Carter Lolly’s purse. Inside, he found her library card and a card for the needle exchange. Lorraine Chance.
‘It could have been an overdose, I suppose?’ one of the officers commented.
‘Could also have been hypothermia, if she tried to spend the night out here,’ added Carter. ‘Anyone see anything?’
The officer shook his head.
‘Most of the lorries had gone by the time we got here. There were only three left and we’ve taken the details for them but this park will have been pretty full last night. At least half are foreign drivers.’
‘We’ll be a long time trying to trace the lorries.’
Carter squatted beside her as he looked her over.
‘She’s been interfered with,’ he said, as he lifted her layers of clothing. He looked up at the officer nearest. ‘Could she have been servicing a customer out here?’
‘Not likely. He would have been a lorry driver. She didn’t charge them – she just wanted some warmth and a place to sleep usually. No way would they do it outside in freezing temperatures when they could do it in their warm cab.’
Carter stood and looked around him. ‘Hard to tell if she was dumped here or she was sheltering. Have you made a scout of the rest of the car park to see if there’s anything?’
‘Yes, sir. There’s broken glass in the car park side of here, the other side of the recycling centre, but no evidence of blood.’
‘Okay – let’s get her taken to the mortuary.’
Chapter 21
‘Are you okay, JJ?’
‘Yes, of course, babe. I’m good now I’m here.’ He stepped out from the shower and swung his head, spraying Paula with water. She giggled but her eyes were still watching him, concerned. He wrapped the small towel around his waist. He was proud of his physique. He kept himself trim and he played tennis whenever he could. He did fifty press-ups every day, a hundred sit-ups. He liked to look slim rather than big-muscled. He stopped drying his hair and looked at her appreciatively.
‘You look lovely. You’ve done something different with your hair?’
‘It took me ages.’ She looked at her reflection. Her long black hair was piled up on her head in a large doughnut shape. ‘I’m practising for a wedding I have to do this weekend. The rest of the girls in the salon are all busy and it’s good money.’
Ellerman looked up from drying. ‘That’s good. You clever little thing, you.’
‘I’m going to put it in the bank, I’m saving for the salon.’ She was still looking at him, waiting for his response. ‘For when we move to Spain and I get my salon.’
‘Good idea.’ Ellerman kissed her forehead as he passed her on his way to the bedroom to get some clean clothes out of his bag. ‘Are the kids okay?’ he called out as he replaced his neatly folded clothes and zipped up the bag.
Paula came to stand in the doorway of the room and watch him get dressed.
‘Yeah, the girls are great, asking about you. What about Craig – what’s he up to? Has he got a girlfriend?’