She steered him to a pub that they’d eaten in a few times. She wanted to sit under the patio heater outside but he ignored that.
‘Open a tab,’ he said to the barman as he ordered a large single malt and a large glass of white wine for Lisa. He didn’t ask her if she wanted it; he was hoping she’d soften a bit with alcohol. He took the menu from the counter.
‘Let’s sit over here.’ He picked up his coat and headed for a table that a group had just left. It was nearest to the fire. Lisa got there first and doubled up athletically as she slid behind the long oak table and into the corner of the old church pew, the fire to her side and the rest of the pub to her front.
‘You okay? Come on, Granddad.’ She laughed. Her voice came out squeaky and sharp in the soft ambience of the pub.
Ellerman didn’t answer. He stood tall by the side of the pew and slid the scarf from around his neck, then carefully placed his gloves on it before folding his coat on the top.
‘There…’ He pulled out a chair for himself, a little way from the fire, and smoothed back his hair as he settled down to take his first sip of the deep amber liquid. He was aware she was watching him. She knew she’d overstepped the mark. She’d been rude.
‘Cheers,’ he said. ‘Here’s to… us?’
Even as he faltered, hesitated, he knew by the look she shot him that she wasn’t thinking along those lines.
‘What are you having to eat?’ he asked her. He’d already looked at the menu. He was having a man-sized portion of something stodgy that she would hate. No salad tonight. He needed potatoes or pastry and lumps of red meat. She would opt for the lentil pie, the beetroot salad. She wouldn’t have pudding. She wouldn’t have cheese. They ate their dinner in silence. They glanced at the others in the pub. They smiled at one another occasionally. Lisa didn’t want another glass of wine. It made her tired, grumpy. Ellerman was flying after three large whiskies. He finally felt ready to flirt. He didn’t want to go home. The thought of going back out into the bitter cold made him miserable. Lisa had become Lisa Long-face. She yawned and fiddled with her glass and she still wasn’t talking.
They trudged back to her cold house and went to bed. Ellerman lay awake, listening to the sounds of people passing outside. The orange from the street lamp made the room light. They hadn’t had sex. She hadn’t reached for him in bed. He was grateful. He hadn’t the stamina or the interest. She slipped out of bed in the morning and he sank into a deep sleep. He woke up in a panic, throwing himself out of a deep sleep that had become a nightmare. He was trapped, he was in danger. He was about to be killed – someone was strangling him. He sat up and shook his head to dispel the dream’s remnants. He pulled on his tracksuit bottoms and his socks and T-shirt and walked down the stairs. He could hear her in the kitchen.
‘Sorry – I was sleeping so soundly,’ he said as he poured himself a mug of coffee from the filter machine.
‘You were snoring constantly from two o’clock on.’
‘Must be the cold. I’m sorry.’
‘It’s over.’
He looked at Lisa and shook his head. He was just setting his coffee down on the table in the kitchen, just about to help himself to some cereal.
‘Sorry?’ He paused on the way to the cupboard. ‘You mean us? Our relationship?
‘Yes.’
She turned away from him and began tidying her breakfast things away.
‘Can I ask why?’
‘Do I need a reason?’
‘Well, I think you owe me one. We’ve been together for a while.’
She turned back from the sink. ‘Yes, and look how far we’ve progressed,’ she said sarcastically, her voice high-pitched. ‘Two years and we’ve got nowhere.’
He hated it when her voice took on a shrieky edge to it.
They stared at one another for almost a minute before he shook his head, turned back to the table and picked up his coffee.
‘I thought you understood the situation – the fact that I can’t leave my wife just yet but I fully intend to… and then there’s the house in Spain…’ He pulled out a chair to sit at the kitchen table. He was trying to stay calm. In truth, he was reeling a bit. He hadn’t expected it.
‘Yes.’ She went and picked up her trainers from their place beside the back door and sat down opposite him. ‘Let’s talk about that.’
‘Okay. Of course. What is it you want to talk about?’
‘When? I want to talk about when.’
‘As in?’ He swung his head from side to side and his expression screwed into an awkward smile.
‘There must be a timeline, a timescale? You? Me? This house I’ve invested in? When – when, for fuck’s sake?’
‘The internal walls are being plastered; the garden is being landscaped. The pool is in the process of being dug. It’s all happening now.’
‘You said that last time.’ She slipped her feet into her trainers and fastened them up.
‘I will ring my builder right now if you like and I can ask him what he’s working on today.’
‘You’re a master at sarcasm, JJ, but you are getting tangled in your own lies.’
He looked at her face. He had not seen this side of her. Where had his sweet little gym bunny gone? Where was the girl whose girlish looks, whose large black eyes were always filled with a sweet dark passion, always anxious to please him, to see that he was happy? She looked demented today. She looked angry enough to kill him, but at the same time she looked terribly sad. When had he seen that look before? So many times. Dee. It was Dee’s disappointment all over again.
‘I’m so sorry I’ve upset you, my darling. You mean the world to me. I can’t bear to lose you. Let’s not fall out. I promise you – absolutely promise you – that it won’t be long. Can you wait for me, darling, please?’ He reached out a hand and covered hers. She snatched it away.
‘It’s too late. I was waiting to see what you’d do when you arrived yesterday. I know you’ve been seeing someone else. You’ve lied about everything.’
‘I promise you, darling…’
‘Don’t bother. I’m sick of your promises. They don’t mean jack. I’m going for a run and I want you to leave while I’m out. I don’t want anything of yours here when I get back.’
He watched her open the back door and she turned to look at him.
‘I actually feel sorry for you. You’re a sad fuck-up. You’re too old for me. You’ve got old since we met. Or maybe I never noticed it like I do now.’
Lisa rested her back against the door frame and looked at him with pity. She couldn’t do what had been asked. She hated him enough but her hot head got the better of her.
‘Give me my money back, JJ, and I’ll chalk it up to experience. I’ll know better next time. We had some good times but you’re a liar and a bad one. Money back in my account by the end of the week or I am going to take legal action and I’m not alone.’
Chapter 38
Carter and Willis were on the way back from Exeter to London. They stopped at Gordano Services outside Bristol and grabbed a Costa coffee to go.
‘What did you think of Scott?’ Carter asked as they walked back towards the car. ‘Not bad-looking? You could do worse?’ He winked her way and grinned.
She shook her head. Turned away, smiling. ‘You never give up, do you?’
‘Come on – I could see you liked him.’
‘He’s a nice man.’
‘Yes, nice. Single – tick. Doesn’t have a train set in his attic – double tick.’
‘I told you that in secret. Darren’s train set was high-speed.’
‘Look – I’m only saying your past boyfriends have been a little dull. I don’t think I’ve ever seen you so interested in someone. Give it a go.’