“It would have to be on the ground floor.” He looked pensively at the wheelchair parked at the end of the bed.
“I know that. And I have another idea too.” She decided to hit him with it all at once.
“Now what?” He lay back against his pillows and looked happily at her. As difficult as these months had been, it had given them something very special to share, and they were closer than either of them had ever thought two human beings could be. “You know, you never give me a moment's peace. You've always got some damn plot or plan. You exhaust me, Tan.” But it wasn't a complaint and they both knew that.
“It's good for you. You know that.” He did, but wouldn't give her the satisfaction of admitting it.
“So, what's your thought?”
“How about applying to Boalt?” She held her breath and he looked shocked.
“Me? Are you nuts? What the hell would I do there?”
“Probably cheat, but failing that, you could study your ass off like I do every night. It would give you something to do other than pick your nose.”
“What a charming image you have of me, my dear.” He swept her a bow from the bed and she laughed. “Why in God's name would I torture myself with law school? I don't have to do a dumb thing like that.”
“You'd be good at it.” She looked at him earnestly and he wanted to argue with her, but the worst of it was that he liked the idea.
“You're trying to ruin my life.”
“Yes.” She grinned. “Will you apply?”
“I probably won't get in. My grades were never as good as yours.”
“I already asked, you can apply as a veteran. They might even make an exception for you…” She was cautious about the way she said it, but he looked annoyed anyway.
“Never mind that. If you got in, so can I.” And the damnedest thing was that suddenly he wanted to. He almost wondered if he had wanted to for a long time. Maybe he felt left out with all that studying she did, while he had nothing at all to do except lie around and watch the nursing shifts change.
She brought him the application forms the next afternoon, and they mulled them over endlessly, and finally sent them in, and by then Tana was looking at flats for them. It had to be exactly right, and something that would work for him.
She had just seen two she liked when her mother called on an afternoon in late May. It was unusual for her to be home, but she had some things to take care of at home, and she knew Harry was all right. One of the girls from down the hall came and knocked on her door. She assumed it was Harry, wanting to know how the apartments were. One of them was in Piedmont, and snob that he was, she knew he would like that one best, but she wanted to be sure she could afford it too. She didn't have the income he had, even though she had lined up a good job for herself that summer. Maybe after that.…
“Hello?” There was a long-distance whir and her heart stopped, wondering if it was Harrison calling her again. Harry had never realized what had passed between them, or more importantly what could have and what sacrifice they had made. “Hello?”
“Tana?” It was Jean.
“Oh. Hi, Mom.”
“Is something wrong?” She had sounded strange at first.
“No. I thought it was someone else. Is something wrong?” It was an unusual hour for her to call. Maybe Arthur had had another heart attack. He had stayed in Palm Beach for three months, and Jean had stayed there with him. Ann and John and Billy had gone back to New York, and Jean had stayed to nurse him back to health even after he left the hospital. They had only been back in New York for two months, and she must have had her hands full, because Tana almost never heard from her now.
“I wasn't sure you'd be home at this hour.” She sounded nervous, as though she wasn't sure what to say.
“Usually I'm at the hospital, but I had something to do here.”
“How's your friend?”
“Better. He's getting out in about a month. I was just looking at some apartments for him.” She hadn't told her yet that they were thinking of living together. It made perfect sense to her, but she knew that it wouldn't to Jean.
“Can he live alone?” She sounded surprised.
“Probably if he had to, but I don't think he will.”
“That's wise.” She had no idea what that meant, but she had other things on her mind. “I wanted to tell you something, sweetheart.”
“What's that?”
She wasn't at all sure how Tana would react, but there was no way to beat around the bush any longer. “Arthur and I are getting married.” She held her breath and at her end, Tana stared.
“You're what?”
“Getting married … I … he feels that we've gotten older … we've been foolish for long enough.…” She stumbled over some of the words he had said to her only days before, blushing furiously and at the same time terrified of what Tana would say. She knew that she hadn't liked Arthur for years, but maybe now.…
“You weren't the fool in all that, Mom. He was. He should have married you fifteen years ago, at least.” She frowned for a moment, mulling over what Jean had said. “Is that what you really want to do, Mom? He's not young anymore, and he's sick … he's kind of saved the worst for you.” It was blunt, but true, but until his heart attack he hadn't even wanted to marry her. He hadn't thought of it in years, not since his wife had come home from the hospital sixteen years before, in fact. But suddenly, everything had changed, and he realized his own mortality. “Are you sure?”
“Yes, Tana, I am.” Her mother sounded strangely calm suddenly. It was what she had waited almost twenty years for, and she wouldn't have given it up for anything, not even for her only child. Tana had her own life now, and she had nothing at all, without Arthur. She was grateful to him for finally marrying her. They would have a comfortable, easy life, and she could finally relax. All those years of loneliness and worrying; would he show up, would he come by, should she wash her hair, and then just in case … and he didn't come for two weeks, until the night when Tana had the flu, or she herself had a bad cold … it was all over now, and real life was about to begin. At last. She had earned every minute of it, and she was going to enjoy every minute of it now. “I'm very sure.”
“All right, then.” But Tana did not sound thrilled. “I guess I should say congratulations or something like that.” But somehow she didn't feel like it. It seemed like such a boring bourgeois life, and after all Jean's years of sitting there waiting for him, she would have liked to see her tell him to go to hell. But that was youth thinking, and not Jean. “When are you getting married?”
“In July. You'll come, won't you, sweetheart?” She sounded nervous again, and Tana nodded to herself. She had planned to go home for a month anyway. She had worked it out with her summer job. She was working at a law firm in town, and they understood, or so they said.
“I'll sure try.” And then she had an idea. “Can Harry come?”
“In a wheelchair?” Her mother sounded horrified, and something hardened instantly in Tana's eyes.
“Obviously. It's not exactly as though he has a choice.”
“Well, I don't know … I should think it would be embarrassing for him … I mean, all those people, and … I'll have to ask Arthur what he thinks.…”
“Don't bother.” Tana's nostrils flared and she wanted to strangle someone, primarily Jean. “I can't make it anyway.”
Tears instantly sprang to Jean's eyes. She knew what she'd done, but why was Tana always so difficult? She was so stubborn about everything. “Tana, don't do that, please … it's just … why do you have to drag him along?”
“Because he's been lying in a hospital for six months and he hasn't seen anyone except me, and maybe it would be nice for him. Did that occur to you? Not to mention the fact that this did not happen in a car accident, it happened defending a stinking country we have no right to be in anyway, and the least people can do for him now is show him some gratitude and courtesy.…” She was in a blind rage and Jean was terrified.