At least, in my world at that split second.
A baby was crying.
Sure, that sound might eventually become the bane of my existence, but in that moment, it was music to my fucking ears.
I jumped to my feet and wiped my hands off on my pants, smiling brightly. “I’m good!” I said, frantically looking around the room. I probably looked ridiculous, but I’d just passed out, and now, I was experiencing some crazy kind of adrenaline rush from knowing that my kid was finally out in the world.
My kid.
That stopped me right in my tracks.
My. Kid.
My eyes raced to Sierra’s. She was grinning at me, shaking her head—clearly not experiencing quite the same rush that had rendered me speechless.
“I told you not to take a peek,” she scolded while still maintaining her grin.
I ran a hand through my hair and went to her side. She’d never been more beautiful. Her hair was damp, matted on her forehead. The circles under her eyes were dark, but her cheeks were flushed, her smile was wide, and her eyes were shining with all the love she had for me. All the love she had for our daughter.
“Your legs were spread, baby. I couldn’t not take a peek,” I told her, because let’s face it. It was the truth. “So much for cutting the cord.”
She giggled, shaking her head and letting it fall back against the pillow. Her tired eyes sparkled, crinkling on the edges while her mouth was turned upward in a dreamy smile.
“You did good.”
An eyebrow quirked up. “How would you know? You were on the floor before Ava was even out,” she teased.
Just as I was about to protest and stick up for my manhood, a nurse approached us from the other side.
“Okay, Mom and Dad,” she singsonged, almost sounding like a young Mary Poppins. “Say hello to little miss Ava.”
Sierra’s breath caught, and my heart leapt into my throat. All I could see was a bundle in yellow, the nurse having wrapped Ava in the blanket Sierra had insisted on. Yellow, not pink. That was my girl. We watched in silence as the nurse got closer, and I’m pretty sure neither of us was breathing. Then the nurse smiled and placed Ava in Sierra’s waiting arms.
Her eyes were wide as she stared up at her mom. Her mom’s eyes were just as wide as she stared down.
Sierra Banks, my wife, was holding Ava Banks, my daughter, for the very first time.
My wife.
My daughter.
And that was all it took. It hit me so hard that I could’ve passed out again. But I did something else.
I cried.
I fucking cried.
Then I sat on the edge of the bed and placed my arm around Sierra’s shoulders, and when Ava’s eyes moved to me, I cried again.
I’D NEVER FORGET HOW it felt when Ava was placed in my arms. You hear all those clichés. Your heart is now living outside your body, you finally found your purpose in life, or whatever else the greeting cards say. I always thought that’s what they were. Clichés. But then I experienced it and knew that it was all so true.
Gazing down at Ava’s pink little face, her innocent eyes watching me, I was in awe. As my eyes were transfixed on my little girl, the magnitude of the moment rendered me speechless. I couldn’t believe that this beautiful, tiny human being was a product of our love. When Jeremy sat on the bed next to me and looked at his daughter for the first time, bursts of pride exploded in my heart.
Two days old and Ava Banks was already the most loved kid in the world. Visits from Mom, Dad, Mr. and Mrs. Banks, Jenna, Chris, Ty, and Lexi had all overwhelmed and exhausted me, but in the best possible way. As tired as I was, I couldn’t help but beam from the incredible amount of love and support Jeremy and I had and, in turn, Ava would have.
But it was right at that specific moment that I knew Ava was one lucky little girl. I’d just gotten out of the bathroom, having freshened up for our impending release. Jeremy was sitting in the rocking chair, holding our tiny bundle of joy in his arms. His expression was a mixture of pure love and awe. While he was speaking in hushed whispers to our daughter, she was staring up at him with rapt attention. His forefinger stroked her soft baby skin, and when he leaned down to place a kiss on her tiny fingertips, I fell deeper in love with him. If I’d have had my phone, the picture I could’ve snapped would’ve been perfect for a greeting card.
“Who knew dads were so sexy?” I asked, breaking the silence.
His head lifted, his eyes meeting mine. “She’s so tiny,” he whispered.
I crossed the room, placed my hand on his shoulder, and peered down at them. “She looks good on you.”
“Just like her momma,” he teased, wiggling his eyebrows at me.
As if on cue, a nurse popped her head into the room. “Okay, Banks family. Ready to go home?”
After two days in the hospital, I was more than ready to get home and settled in as a new family of three. Jeremy and I’d spent weeks preparing the nursery. Not to mention two nights of not sleeping with Jeremy was two nights too many.
She went about her duties, giving us instructions and tips for the future. Jeremy listened intently, taking note of things here and there, and it was so damn cute how serious he looked.
Until we got to the sex part.
“Now, to be on the safe side, the doctor recommends at least six weeks until you engage in intercourse with penetration,” she said matter-of-factly.
I grinned and poked him in the side. “Hear that, Jeremy? Six. Long. Weeks,” I said, dragging out each word for emphasis.
“Six weeks?” he asked, incredulous.
“Doctor’s orders,” I replied.
Jeremy’s lips curved into a playful smile, and I could only imagine what he was thinking. His glance flicked between the nurse and me.
“Maybe,” he said with a shrug. “But what’d your dentist say?”
I woke with a start.
Something wasn’t right.
My breasts were heavy and swollen, begging for relief—it was past feeding time. I groaned, wishing I could put my pillow over my head and go back to sleep. Ava, thank the heavens, was a relatively good baby. Okay, I’ll be honest and brag a little bit. Ava was the best baby. My pregnancy had been stellar—not a lick of morning sickness—and for the most part, she only woke through the night when she was hungry. But I was still exhausted beyond belief. Not getting more than three hours of sleep at a time thanks to my daughter’s appetite, I was starting to feel like the walking dead.
It was a small price to pay for the joy she brought to our lives though. A price I’d pay time and time again. Hell, even though she was only four months old, Jeremy was already talking about having another one.
Something I was getting pretty close to giving in on.
Just as I rose to feed Ava, I realized what was wrong. His side of the bed was empty, and he still had two hours before he had to be up for work. I smiled to myself. I was in charge of the night feedings, but sometimes, Jeremy still snuck in there.
We’d decided I’d stay home while Ava was a baby—at least, for now. Jeremy’s real estate business was more than enough to support the family, and we were comfortable. So I usually let him sleep at night because I could catch little naps here and there during the day. And even still, on nights like tonight, when I’d barely kept my eyes open through the latest episode of Criminal Minds, I knew exactly where Jeremy was.
When I padded down the hall and peeked into Ava’s nursery, my heart melted. I’d seen the sight in front of me a thousand times, but it never got old. Jeremy had always been sexy to me. But that right there? It was the most arousing thing I’d ever seen. There’s nothing like a hot, muscular man holding a tiny baby in his arms. Except for when the hot, muscular man holding a tiny baby in his arms was whisper-singing the most inappropriate song to her little ears.