‘Certainly.’
Speedy went off with Karim, tripping and panting.
Gabriel got out of the car and leaned against the railings outside the house, staring into the furnace of the chandeliers, but could make out little.
‘You see?’ he was telling Archie. ‘That wasn’t too bad, eh? Didn’t we have a good night?’
He wondered again how his life would have been different had Archie lived, and how the two of them would have influenced and loved and hated one another. He missed him.
Gabriel looked up to see a servant coming to close the shutters.
It wasn’t as late as Gabriel had thought, and he asked the driver to take him for a spin around London. Gabriel imagined the car’s silver grille grinning like sharks’ teeth as they ate up the city. When he was older, he would do this all the time, with his friends beside him.
As they drifted past the landmarks, Gabriel fell into a dream of the future, imagining his adventures, the films he’d make and scripts he’d write. He thought of the actors, musicians and producers he’d work with, the interviews he might give and what he’d say on television; he thought of where he would live, the parties he’d attend, the dissipations he’d be prone to and the women he would meet; he wondered whether he’d work in America or not and about the mistakes it might be profitable to make, and those to avoid. Like Lester, he would do fascinating things all the time!
What a bright place London was, he thought. Here anything could be achieved! You only had to wish high enough!
Of course, he wondered if he might fail at what he wanted, as his father ultimately had. A lot of people wanted to be someone, but who had the tenacity, the commitment, the steely determination? For how many people was it a necessity, a matter of life as opposed to death? He was too young to be careful. He was full of hope and the ambition of uncontainable wishes. He was ready, too, to work. Recently he’d had ideas for two or three projects that he hadn’t had time to consider properly. He wanted to write and draw new things. He saw now how bored he’d been recently, at home; he’d just about had enough of being alone and worrying about his parents.
At home he listened to the CDs that Speedy had given him. He went happily to bed but seemed to have only just shut his eyes when he had a nightmare.
He was sitting with his mother and Archie in a bus beside his father’s coffin. Other customers sat on the bus as usual. The bus conductor asked Gabriel’s mother for their fares but she had no money to pay. The family couldn’t take Dad’s body to the cemetery in a hearse because they couldn’t afford that either. Then his father, as a ghost, was sitting with them, holding Archie’s hand and telling them all not to worry. Mum’s friend George, surrounded by a swirling halo, was waving through the window.
Gabriel cried out but it made no difference; no one could hear.
Gabriel touched something soft. It was a real person. Gabriel was so disorientated that he reached for the light switch. But someone else’s hand had made it first.
It was Dad in evening dress with his bow tie as floppy as an old daffodil. He was crumpled and smelled of alcohol and cigars. Around his mouth was something like chocolate cake.
‘We’ve just come in from the party. You’re safe. Everyone’s safe. Angel, you can go back to sleep.’
‘You are here. It’s really you. But why are you here?’
‘You’ll be the first to hear about it, tomorrow.’
Chapter Fifteen
His father was at the table, in his usual place, with mustard and butter, and Branston pickle and ketchup and salt to hand. Underneath was the newspaper, open on the sports page; Dad moved the objects around in order to read the part of the page he required. He was listening to Verdi’s Requiem while wondering aloud whether Nottingham Forest would make it to the Premiership.
Occasionally he looked up in puzzlement; he’d never been in the house with Hannah there. Unintentionally, she kept making him laugh. Gabriel could see how nervous she was by the fact that she kept raising food to her mouth, and putting it down again, as if she couldn’t believe that the world had tilted once more.
Dad said, ‘It’s funny you dreaming about me, Gabriel. I thought I saw Archie last night.’
‘What?’
‘I was sitting there with friends when I became convinced your twin was looking through the window of Jake’s house. I even made an excuse, went outside and walked about. There was no one there, of course. Weird, eh? By the way, what’s this about you and Archie talking and stuff?’
Gabriel hesitated but said, ‘He’s with me, Dad.’
‘Of course he is. He’s with me too. That’s where the kid should be, with his family.’
‘You talk to him?’
‘Every day.’ Gabriel was relieved. Dad went on, ‘Don’t tell Mum. It upsets her.’
When Gabriel’s mother joined them, Hannah went and stood across the room, folding clothes with ostentatious care.
‘I can’t wait to hear how it went last night.’ said Gabriel. ‘Did you get champagne at the door?’
‘Champagne and canapés, of course.’
‘Then what did you eat?’
‘Wait a minute. I have to give you good news,’ said his mother. She was in her dressing-gown and her hair was everywhere. She must have been tired after last night but she seemed content. ‘Your father was too sensitive to ask about the camera. But I did. It turned out that years ago Carlo’s father, Jake, was a camera assistant, and he’s got what you want in his garage. He’ll show you how to use it.’
‘I’ll be able to start my film?’
‘He suggested you shoot it over the summer. The days will be longer. There’ll be more light.’
Dad said, ‘Fluffy, you forgot.’ She blushed at the name. It had been a long time since he’d called her that. ‘Someone else was there last night, too.’ He was looking at Gabriel. ‘A friend of yours.’
‘That’s right,’ said Mum. ‘Lester Jones turned up, for drinks. He asked how you were getting on.’
‘He did?’ Gabriel said, ‘He didn’t mention anything else?’
‘He’s doing a concert in a small venue in London and has invited us to visit him backstage.’
‘That’s great,’ said Gabriel. ‘I’m pleased. He didn’t mention the picture?’
‘No.’ Mum was regarding Dad with annoyance. ‘Oh, God,’ she said. ‘I’d forgotten what a noise you make when you eat. You sit back — you’re thinking, I suppose — and there’s a sort of animal chewing.’
‘I’d forgotten what a noise you make when you’re talking,’ said Dad. ‘And I’d forgotten the pleasures of living together. Was it like this all the time?’ Mum lowered her head. ‘By the way, Christine, I wanted to ask you — who’s George?’
‘What?’ said Mum.
Gabriel and his father were watching her.
Dad said, ‘Last night Gabriel was shouting in his sleep about George. Who is he?’
Gabriel was aware that Dad knew who he was. Dad was getting himself worked up.
‘No one,’ said Mum. ‘There’s no George.’
‘There better not be. Is it true, Gabriel? And don’t lie to me.’
Mum said, ‘Don’t forget, Jake invited us to his country place. He’s had the new indoor pool installed and thinks we might like to try it out.’
‘All three of us?’ said Gabriel. ‘Are we going?’
‘Would you like to?’
‘Yes. I can work there.’
Dad got up. ‘We’ll see,’ he said. ‘Anyway, I haven’t got time to gossip.’
While Gabriel sat next to his mother and asked her to describe the previous evening’s food, as well as the plates, clothes and conversation, Dad picked up his bag and went to the door.
‘I’ve got a lot of work to do today,’ he said. At the foot of the stairs he turned. ‘I’d like to get started while I’m here, if that’s all right, Christine.’