"Yes but, but did you cohabit with him, not being prop--"' "I was properly married according to my husband's law and acted in accordance with the teachings of the True Church," she said, adding with an even sharper edge, "and now I would like absolution, Father." This was contrary to accepted practice and she waited, holding her breath, ready to sweep out if he probed further against accepted practice.
"As... as you are leaving today, it is necessary to ensure, senhora, to give absolution th--"' "I am not leaving by mail ship, Father. Not today."
"Oh, not leaving?"' she heard the elation and relief, "then, then we can talk, my child, talk at length for the Glory of God. Oh how wonderful are the ways of God."
He had given her absolution and a modest penance and she had left to join the service.
Having overcome that hurdle she enjoyed it.
Her mind wandered but that was normal. Now she could relax and was pleased with herself. She had achieved what she had set out to achieve: Malcolm buried here, as she wished, Gornt launched, Hoag on his way, Tess neutralized--with the help of God.
God is on my side, I'm sure of it.
He approves, I'm sure of it. Except for Malcolm, ah Malcolm my love, my love...
"May I escort you home, Angelique?"
Seratard asked, interrupting her daydreams.
"Thank you, Monsieur," she said formally, "but I am not very good company and would rather stroll quietly by myself."
"There is a lot to discuss before you leave."
"Oh, I thought you would know already I'm not leaving with the mail ship--Dr. Hoag forbade it, which saddens me."
His smile broadened. "Magnificent! That is the best news I've heard in many a day.
Would you care for dinner at the Legation tonight, just two or three of us--quietly?"
"Thank you but again no. Perhaps the end of the week, if I feel better."
"Thursday or Friday, whenever you wish."
Seratard kissed her hand, and she walked into the open air.
The wind had freshened again. She was glad for the veil that camouflaged her, no need to hide behind the front of her face. Those who passed greeted her sadly, Nettlesmith among them. "We will truly be sorry to see you go, Ma'am."
"Thank you, Mr. Nettlesmith, but I'm not going by the mail ship, not today." Again she saw the face light up the moment she said it and was amused.
"Dr. Hoag has forbidden me to travel, which saddens me."
"Oh! Of course it would. Not going, eh!
Oh! Well yes, I can see that, oh, will you excuse me, Ma'am?" He rushed for the Club.
Within minutes the news would be around the Settlement and there would be no need to say it again. Down the praia she saw Andr`e. He was waiting for her.
"Hello, Andr`e."
"I'm glad you're not going," he said simply.
"Ah. News travels fast."
"Good news. I need to talk privately."
"About money?"
"About money. How you've changed, Angelique."
"For the better, I hope. How are you, old friend?"
"Old." Andr`e was feeling drab today, and tired. He had seen Hinodeh last night and there had been shadows between them. And violence. While she was massaging him he had lifted up and reached into the neck of her kimono to kiss her breast, loving her to distraction, but she had jerked away and closed her kimono against him. "You promise not to..." she had gasped, and his fury at himself for forgetting--any such trespass sent her into a pathetic, hangdog sorrow that would craze him further--turned into fury at her and he had snarled, "Stop looking like that, stoppit!
Baka!"
There were never any tears when he was there, just the constant, abject muttering, "Gomen nasai, Furansu-san, gomen nasai gomen nasai gomen nasai" on and on until the words maddened him and again he shouted, "Shut up for Christ's sake!" She had. And stayed kneeling, eyes downcast, hands in her lap, immobile except for an occasional tremble like a whipped dog.
He had wanted to apologize and hold her in his arms, his love unending, but that would not help him, only make him lose further face so he just got up sullenly and dressed and without a word left their home. Once he was out of the Yoshiwara and across the bridge he went down to the shore and kicked the nearest fishing boat and cursed it until he was spent. Then he sat on the cold pebbles, choked with frustration knowing that she would be weeping and equally angry that she had not managed his mistake more cleverly, knowing that tomorrow they would begin again as though nothing had happened but he was sure, not far below the sweet and gentle demeanor was a vast reservoir of hatred. For him.
"And why not?" he muttered.
"Why not what, Andr`e?" Angelique asked.
"Oh! Nothing, just wandering."
"Look there's an empty seat. We can sit there and talk."
The bench faced the sea. The mail ship beckoned her attention and she wondered what would have happened if she had decided to go aboard. I'd only have gone into the Lioness's den earlier than necessary, she thought. No need to worry about that, no need to worry about anything--merely to ease into my new being, testing its limits, and wait. The smoke plume began trickling upwards. The mail ship was getting up steam.
Only a few tenders remained at her gangway. "I'm not very good company, sorry," she said.
"Could you let me have some money?"
"I have only a little. How much do you need?"
"A thousand guineas."
"What on earth for?"
He took a deep breath. "Her name is Hinodeh," he said and told her a story of falling in love and wanting her for himself and nothing about the real reason, his sickness. "It's difficult to tell everything, of course I can't, but I cannot live without that woman and the money is needed for her contract, I've got to have it. I must."
"There's no way I could find that amount, Andr`e," she said, genuinely shocked but moved.
"What about Henri, surely he could provide you with a loan?"
"He's refused, and refused to advance me anything on my salary, I think he enjoys my dependence."
"If I was to talk to him an--"
"No, you mustn't, that would be the worst thing to do."
He looked at her in a new way. "When you get your marriage settlement, I pray it's fast, I'll work to make it fast, I want you to lend it to me, a thousand."
"If I can, I will, I will, Andr`e."
"Can you let me have some now? A hundred, that will keep the mama-san off my back for a week--she was the one who helped you," he added, driving in a nail.
She let that pass, well aware of the many ways he had helped her, or had promised never to mention any of them, her mind jumping forward to new conclusions: this Hinodeh is an added security for me. "I'll ask Jamie for an advance."
"There's the money Sir William said you could keep, two hundred and sixty-three guineas, wasn't it, from the safe."
"Yes, there's some of that left." She looked out to sea to avoid his eyes, their disturbing intentness, wondering how he knew and to mask her abhorrence of this different Andr`e with his underlying, searing edge of hysteria. Foolish to be like that, doesn't he realize our Fates are locked together? But then he is in love so I can forgive him. "I sent some home."
"I'm working on your behalf, Angelique, every day with Henri. The Ward of the State, he's sure of it. Henri's important to your future, he and the Ambassador will be your champions in the coming fight, I guarantee it.
You're wise to stay here and wait, it's safer, better," he said and she remembered how, not so long ago, he had told her it was vital for her to go.
He was watching her, hard to see her clearly through the veil, remembering the signed affidavit he had deposited with his will in the British Minister's safe, not trusting Seratard--against any "accident" happening to him. The affidavit that told about the Tokaido assassin's lovemaking and the abortion--when and how it was achieved and the evidence buried--and about the death of the assassin. Then there was the second page of the letter her father had written her months ago that he had torn up in front of her but had put back together, the page that would damn any marriage settlement that Tess Struan might agree to when the screws were really turned on her--all of it to use, when necessary, Angelique his only passport to possession of Hinodeh and a comfortable future.