"One day I'd like to meet her," she had said. "I can easily sneak into your Yoshiwara.
I'll dress up as a boy."
"Oh my God, no, you couldn't.
Angelique, you mustn't."
It might be amusing to do that, she thought, chuckling, and turned over in her bed, almost asleep. Andr`e will take me. I'd like to see this Hinodeh I've so much invested in. I wonder how she looks.
On the threshold of sleep her stomach spasmed.
Another cramp, different. Another. Wide awake now. Apprehensively she rubbed her stomach and loins to take the ache away but it did not go away and now she realized for sure it was the old familiar ache with the slightly bloated feeling.
It had begun. The bleeding followed. Andwiththe flow all of her longing and worry and hoping burst.
In abject grief she began to cry and buried her head in her pillows, "Oh Malcolm I had hoped so much, so much, now I've nothing left to give you, nothing left of you, nothing left to give you, oh Malcolm Malcolm I'm so sorry, so awfully sorry... oh God, I'm so awfully sorry... THY will be done ..."
Crying and crying, after an eternity, crying herself to sleep, no more tears to shed.
"Missee, wakee! Missee-tai-tai, cawfee, heya!"
In her waking mists Ah Soh banged the tray on the side table and Angelique smelled the warm, heavenly smell of fresh-brewed coffee --a present from Seratard and one of the few services Ah Soh would and could do properly-- wafting around her, bringing her into the day without hurt.
She sat up in bed and stretched, astonished and delighted she felt so alert and so well. The cramps had gone, the ache had subsided into its normal pattern, better than usual, the bloated feeling less than usual.
And best of all, despair had left her. It's HER miracle, she thought, reverently. During the last month in nightly prayers to the Blessed Mother talking, asking, pleading, one night exhausted by anxiety, she had listened. "Leave it to me, child, it is MY decision not thine," she heard, not hearing with her ears but with her innermost self, "MY decision, all of it, rest in peace." The anxiety had left her.
It was her decision, how wonderful!
Angelique would accept HER verdict. The Will of God. And she had.
Impulsively she knelt beside the bed, closed her eyes and blessed Her and gave passionate thanks, and again how sorry she was but thanked her for lifting the burden, Thy Will Be Done, then slid again under the covers ready for coffee and the world.
Coffee at this time, nine, was custom on a Sunday, just enough time to bathe and dress for church.
Church! Why not? she thought, I must give proper thanks, but no confession. "Ah Soh, bring my bath and..." Ah Soh was staring at her, glazed. Abruptly she realized her maid must have seen bloodstains on the back of her nightdress.
Hastily Ah Soh said, "I get bar'f," and waddled for the door but Angelique was there before her and pushed her back. "If you tell anyone I'll scratch your eyes out!"
"Ayeeyah, no unnerstan' Missee-tai-tai," Ah Soh grunted, petrified by the venom on her mistress's face and in her voice. "No 'unnerstan'!"
"Oh yes you do! Dew neh loh moh-ah," she spat out the Cantonese curse words as she had heard Malcolm use them at Chen once when he was angry with him and had seen Chen go white. He had never told her what the words meant but they had the same effect on Ah Soh whose legs nearly gave way.
"Ayeeeeeyahhh!"
"If you talk, Ah Soh, tai-tai will ..." Furiously Angelique stabbed her long nails to within a millimeter of her eyes and held them there. "Tai-tai do this! Understand?"
"'unnerstan! Sek'ret, tai-tai!" The frightened woman moaned some Cantonese, put fingers to her lips parodying a clamp. "Ah Soh no talk 'unnerstan'!"
Getting hold of her fury though her heart was still racing, Angelique pushed the woman towards the bed and got into it again. Imperiously she pointed at the coffee cup. "Dew neh loh moh! Pour my coffee!"
Saturated with humility and genuine fear, Ah Soh poured the coffee and handed it to her and stood there meekly.
"No talk, make all bed, clothes, clean.
Secret!"
"'unnerstan' tai-tai, no talk, sek'ret, 'unnerstan'."
"No talk! Or..." Her nails slashed the air. "Bath!"
Ah Soh scuttled away to get the hot water but first, breathlessly to whisper the news to Chen whose eyes would turn to heaven and he would say, "ayeeyah, what will Tai-tai Tess do now," on the run to speed the news on the fastest ship to Illustrious Compradore Chen who had commanded them to inform him at once, irrespective of cost.
The coffee was delicious. It soothed her stomach and spirit and took away the slight tumescence. One of Angelique's true joys in all the world was early morning coffee, most of all with croissants and Colette on the Champs-Elys`ees at one of the elegant street caf`es, reading the latest Court Circular and watching the world stroll by.
First church. I will pretend that nothing has happened yet--Ah Soh won't dare to say anything. Who to tell first? Hoag? Andr`e?
Edward? Mr. Skye?
She had already had a discussion with Heavenly Skye. His advice was that they had no option but to wait, to see what Hoag would do, and after that, what Tess would do. Tess's letter to him had been brief: Dear Mr. Skye: I know my son had dealings with you. Cease and desist in our affairs, my son's and mine. No good will come of it.
"Interesting choice of words," he had commented.
"You sound afraid, as though we've lost already."
"Not at all, Angelique. Our only posture can be to wait. She has the initiative."
"By the next mail I want you to write to Struan's solicitors, asking for an accounting of my husband's estate." This had been an idea Andr`e had given her, favoring opening of an immediate offensive.
"Gladly, if you want to fall into her trap."
"What?"' "Your only posture is the aggrieved, wronged child-widow who was enticed into an early marriage by a strong-willed man--not the impoverished, rapacious widow of a rich husband, a profligate minor, who had gone against his mother's wishes in marrying an impoverished lady of questionable antecedents--please don't be angry, I only tell you what can, may and probably will be said. You must wait, dear lady, pretending to hope that Tess will behave like a human being should.
If his child was, er, is en route, that would be a great assist."
"And if there isn't?"' "Let us consider that when it happens, I mean when it doesn't. Lots of time to con--"' "I don't have lots of time. I will run out of money."
"Be patient..."
Mon Dieu, patience! Men and their patience.
Now that Angelique knew beyond doubt she was not bearing Malcolm's child, she set aside all the ideas she had formulated in the event of a baby and concentrated on the other set.
An immediate onslaught on that woman? No, that comes later, Mr. Skye's right in that. I have to find out what she is going to do first. To do that I have to tell Hoag or Babcott. Hoag delivered her message so he will have to be the one. No need to have him paw me, either of them. I can tell him.
At once or later? Is it worth asking Andr`e, or Edward? I don't think so.
Having no baby to contend with, to consider, makes my life simpler, my chances of remarriage better. Whatever happens, like every girl in the world, I must have a protector, the right husband--or, at length, any husband.
As to my prospects: I don't have money enough to get back to Paris to set myself up there. I've no prospects except through a settlement with Struan's--no, not with the company, with that woman.
Even Edward is tied up in that. Especially him. Without a good settlement for me, and her benevolence on his deal, his marriage interest will evaporate. That's fair because mine will evaporate quicker. He's in love with me, I'm not in love with him though I like him a lot, but without mutual financial security the connection has no logic.