The Twenty-eighth Week
Monday 10 — Sunday 16 September 1984
Terry Winters was in the bar of the three-star Ellersly Hotel, Murrayfield, Edinburgh. Terry was on the phone home. No one was on the other end. The phone just rang and rang in the empty hall of his empty house in Sheffield. Terry sat at the bar and listened to it ring and watched the ice in his vodka melt. The President was upstairs in a bedroom with the Chairman. Terry didn’t know why they bothered. The President didn’t want to be here. He was only here because the Chairman was here. The Chairman didn’t want to be here, either. He was only here because the power workers were tired of being booed and spat at. The Chairman had even arrived with a bag over his face. The President had said the Chairman needed to seek professional advice. The Chairman had said he was concerned about the effect of the stress on the President’s health. The President said the Chairman obviously needed a break. The Chairman stuck his tongue out. The President stuck his out. The Chairman threw his hands up. The President winked. The Chairman wanted the President to drop his trousers and spread his cheeks for Maggie. The President didn’t want to play Rita. The President wanted to be Peter. The President wanted the Chairman to get on his knees and suck Little Arthur. The President wanted it to be on the front page of every paper in the land. The top story on the Nine O’clock News, the News at Ten and Newsnight –
‘The Chairman sucks the President’s cock.’
Then everyone could go back to Sheffield, Florida, Moscow or wherever.
Instead back they both went before the TV cameras to call each other names. Before the microphones and tape-recorders to worry about each other’s physical and mental well-being.
Terry yawned. Terry played with the last of the ice in his glass –
The phone was still ringing in Sheffield. The barman staring at Terry –
Terry hung up. Terry finished his vodka. Terry went back upstairs.
He knocked on the President’s door. Joan opened it. Terry went inside –
The Chairman had retired for the night. The President was on the phone.
Len had a map out on the President’s bed. Terry said, ‘Where next?’
Len looked up. He looked over at Joan. Joan said, ‘Monk Fryston again.’
‘Closer to home, I suppose,’ said Terry.
Joan nodded. Len looked back down at the map on the bed.
The President had turned his back to the room. He was whispering into the phone.
Paul came into the room with the day’s faxes. He didn’t knock. He never knocked. He just dumped the faxes on the bed. Every single mention of the dispute for the day –
Every single word from every single media.
Terry picked one out of the pile. He said, ‘How about this one?’
Len looked up again. The President turned round –
Terry laughed. Terry said, ‘Official — Chairman sucks President’s cock.’
The President looked at Terry then returned to his call. Len to the map on the bed. Joan stared out of the window into the night. Paul smiled –
‘That’s a real gift you’ve got there, Comrade,’ he said. ‘You’re wasting it on us.’
‘It was just a joke,’ said Terry.
‘No,’ said Paul. ‘A joke is putting a bag over your head as you enter a hotel.’
‘It was a joke,’ said Terry again. ‘I’m sorry.’
Paul shook his head. Paul said, ‘Jokes elicit laughter, not pity.’
Terry Winters blinked. He wished he’d not had that vodka. He said again, ‘Sorry.’
The President finished his call. Click-click. The President glanced at Terry again.
Len got up off the bed. Len said, ‘We should go, Comrade President.’
‘Now?’ said Terry. ‘This very minute?’
Len nodded. Joan nodded –
Paul smiled. Paul said, ‘It’s later than you think, Comrade.’
Terry ignored him. Terry ran to his room. Terry packed in two minutes flat. Terry went downstairs. Terry checked everyone out. Terry settled the bills –
Terry walked out to the car –
The car was full. Everyone had their eyes on the floor of the car, almost –
‘There’s a direct train to York,’ said Paul. ‘Call us when you get in, won’t you?’
Terry nodded. Terry blinked. Terry waved goodbye. Terry watched them leave –
The press and the television on their tail –
In hot pursuit.
Terry went back inside the hotel. Terry went to their public toilets –
He sat in a cubicle and he cried. He cried and he cried.
He took a black marker pen from his jacket pocket. He took the top off. He drew a big, hairy cunt in a heart of swastikas on the back of the cubicle door.
Then Terry dried his eyes. He put the top on the pen. The pen in his pocket.
Terry went into the bar. Terry ordered another vodka. Terry picked up the phone –
Terry called Diane. Click-click. Diane answered. Terry had some things to say –
Diane listened. Then Diane spoke and Terry listened. Terry hung up –
Terry took a taxi to Waverley. Terry Winters boarded the direct train to York.
Phil and Adam stand around the kitchen table to watch the Mechanic count out the cash. The lolly. Fifty for Phil. Fifty for Adam. Fifty for the Mechanic. Fifty for Jen. The Mechanic glances up at Phil and Adam. Phil and Adam want to say something. The Mechanic stares at Phil and Adam. Phil and Adam smile. Phil and Adam look back down at the money. The loot. Fifty for Phil Fifty for Adam. Hundred for the Mechanic. Hundred for Jen. The Mechanic looks back up at Phil and Adam. Phil and Adam want to say something now. The Mechanic stares at Phil and Adam. Phil and Adam are still smiling. Phil and Adam look back down at the money again. The lucre. Phil and Adam won’t say anything –
The Mechanic knows they won’t.
*
The Prime Minister has been at Balmoral. The Jew was not invited. The Jew dreams of the day he will be. The Chairman went to Chequers on her return. The Jew was not invited. The Jew accepts the Prime Minister and the Chairman sometimes need to spend some time alone together. Some time, sometimes. The Chairman has met with the Labour Party too. The Jew was not invited there. The Jew didn’t care. It would have been nice to have been asked, though. The Chairman met with the TUC too. The Jew was not invited there, either. The Jew really didn’t care. The Jew didn’t want that invitation –