Have I mentioned I really hated lying to this woman?
“Well, you let me know the second you can have me…I mean…not have me…you 438/727
know what I mean…not like I am thinking about that right now…”
I smiled at her nervously correcting herself. She was so damn cute.
“You will be the first person I see as soon as I beat this thing…I promise.”
“Ok…well, I’ll let you rest. Happy New Year,” she said, sounding a bit down.
“Happy New Year, sweetheart,” I said as I quickly hung up the phone before I said anything I would regret. I closed my eyes and silently mouthed, I fucking love you.
And so went the worst New Years Eve of my life.
*** After four more nights of tormenting myself, I came to a monumental decision; well, two decisions actually.
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One: I was going to come clean to my mother about everything that happened in Chicago.
Two: I was going to ask for her advice on how to handle the Allison situation.
Caleb was the only person who knew the truth, but somehow, this was too important not to have a second opinion.
My mother was the only other person on this Earth that I could trust. She would be disappointed that I wasn’t honest with her all these years, but would find out eventually anyway and I wanted it to come from me.
Also, I knew she wouldn’t say anything to Allison and that I could trust her.
So, Friday night after work, I impulsively drove to my mother’s house. Traffic was busy and it felt like I’d never get there.
I knew that Allison wouldn’t be there with Callie on a Friday, which is why I chose tonight. I still hadn’t seen her since my supposed illness.
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Earlier in the week, I told her that my sickness had caused me to fall behind in work having to make up lost hours. I then arranged for a client meeting later in the week in New York to get myself out of town and buy myself more time to think and had just returned last night.
It had been a full week now since I last saw her. Even though, I phoned and texted, I began to feel she was suspecting something because her responses were getting shorter and shorter. But I knew if I went to her and saw her, I wouldn’t be able to control myself and needed to give her the respect she deserved until I knew what would happen.
Arriving at Mom’s, I used my key to let myself in. The house was unusually quiet as I made my way back to the kitchen. There was no sign of my mother, but I saw a light in Callie’s room and could hear soft music playing.
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I opened the door and my heart skipped a beat when I saw Allison lying on the bed with Callie.
Her face turned red when she saw me, but she immediately put her finger to her mouth signaling me to be quiet. Callie was fast asleep next to her and Allison slipped away quietly to join me in the hallway, closing the door to Callie’s room behind her.
“Cedric, what are you doing here?” she whispered in surprise.
I wished I could have made myself disappear into thin air before saying, “I could ask the same of you…is everything okay, where’s my mother?”
Allison’s face seemed to lose all of its coloring.
“She had to bring some stuff to her aunt Evelyn in the nursing home. She called me over because Callie is sick and her other therapist cancelled. I had to cancel working with Lucas, but it’s fine, they were able to fill 442/727
his shift with someone else. I would rather be here for her. She has a slight fever, but she’s okay. How are you feeling?”
“My poor sister. I’m much better, actually. I just got in from New York.” I fake smiled, hoping to keep talk of my lies to a minimum.
Allison didn’t return my smile and looked down. “I am glad to hear that you’re better.”
I stared at her in awe for a few seconds, still a bit shocked to have found her here instead of my mother, then immediately lost all control and embraced her, breathing her in.
God, I had missed her.
I leaned in to kiss her but my heart sank when she abruptly pushed me back.
“Were you just coming to visit your mother?”
I realized how crappy it looked that I supposedly didn’t have time to see her this 443/727
week with my workload, yet the first person I came to visit when I got back was my mother whom she knew rarely saw me anyway. I felt like an asshole.
I was an asshole.
“Yeah, I just hadn’t heard from her in a while and wanted to check in,” I said.
There was a bit of an awkward silence and Allison searched my eyes. The look on her face proved she knew something was off with me.
“I see,” she said coldly.
Feeling like my world was crumbling around me, I grabbed her hand.
“Allison…what’s wrong…talk to me,” I whispered, my voice breaking up.
“Nothing, Cedric. I am just surprised to see you, is all. You said you still felt a little under the weather when we spoke this morning when you were in New York and you texted me that you’d be working late into the night after you got back. Then, you show up 444/727
here, certainly not working and you seem absolutely fine. I wonder if there is something you are not telling me?”
I seriously wanted to shit my pants.
Sounding like an idiot, I tried to buy more time before responding. “What do you mean?”
Allison’s face suddenly turned a shade of red I had never seen before and her breathing was so rapid, her chest rose up and down visibly. I knew she caught me in my lie and I began to imagine that this horrid look she was giving me now would be only a fraction of the pain she would feel when I told her the whole truth.
I needed to go.
I couldn’t do this anymore.
I loved her too much to go any deeper into this relationship.
I can’t lie to her anymore.
Then she floored me with her next question, as her eyes began to water.
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“Is there someone else, Cedric?” I stared at her in silence. My heart was exploding out of my chest and I felt my eyes begin to well up. The love I felt for this woman was indescribable and yet, I looked her dead straight in the eyes and lied through my teeth one last time as my breath hitched and my voice shook.
“Yes…yes, there is.”
Allison stared at me frozen in shock as tears fell down her cheeks. My hand trembled as I struggled to hold it in place to stop it from rising to wipe her tears away, something I desperately wanted to do, but couldn’t allow myself to. I had no idea what to do or say and just stayed there watching her cry as my own tears began to fall visibly.
Just then, the front door opened and my mother walked in. She looked puzzled as she took in the sight of Allison and me staring at each other in her hallway.
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“Cedric…what are you doing here?
What is going on?” she asked.
I looked over at my mother wishing again that I could disappear into thin air.
“Mom,” I said, my voice shaking.
My mother walked over to me, giving me a hug, then seemed to notice that my eyes were watery, which prompted her to jolt back.
She then immediately looked over at Allison’s sullen face, and then looked back at me. Her grim expression showed that she understood something was very wrong between us.
Allison then silently turned around and walked back into Callie’s room, closing the door and disappearing from sight.
It took all of my willpower not to go after her, but I knew I had fucked up for the last time. I had no right to touch her ever again.
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“Do you mind telling me what is going on?” Mom whispered, looking concerned and a little frightened.
I stood frozen, my eyes staring at the closed door to Callie’s room.
“Ma…I really screwed things up…I…I need to leave. I am so sorry.” CHAPTER 27
ALLISON
You and your lover may not be on the same page, Gemini. This is a just passing phase, so don't be too upset or put too much em-phasis on the turmoil that arrives. Mercury will be going in direct motion soon, soothing miscommunications.