Allison looked at me with daggers in her eyes. “What does it look like, Cedric? It’s a fucking picture of me…from years ago.
What are you doing with it? Why don’t I remember you? Have you been stalking me?
Has everything been a big lie?”
“Has anyone contacted you?” I asked.
She looked confused. “What do you mean?”
“When did you find this photo?”
“Earlier tonight.”
“No one has contacted you before today?”
“No…Cedric…what is this about? How do you know me? What are you hiding? Tell me…now…please!” she yelled.
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No one has contacted her.
She knows nothing beyond the photo It was time.
“God…Allison. God, I am so sorry. I need you to sit down, sweetheart, because I have to explain the picture and I have to explain everything.”
She shook her head repeatedly looking down at the floor. “I don’t want to sit…Cedric, please.”
“Allison, sit down,” I repeated in a serious tone.
She finally listened, sitting down reluctantly on the couch.
I stayed standing, knowing she didn’t want me anywhere near her. That hurt.
“Allison, first…before I tell you…I need you to know that everything and I mean, everything we experienced together was real. Please know that… please.” She said nothing, just stared at me with her red eyes.
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A tear fell down my cheek.
“The
second
thing
is…sweetheart…that’s
not
you
in
the
picture.”
CHAPTER 29
AMANDA
December 2001
My parents have lied to me for more than half my life.
That’s the thought I haven’t been able to get out of my head.
A week ago, after dinner, they sat me down in the living room and told me some things that I never in my life expected to hear. I always knew I was adopted but never knew the whole story about where I came from. I am so ashamed that my entire life as I knew it, was a lie.
The story I was told as a child wasthat I was given to my parents on the day Iwas born because my real mother didn’twant an open adoption and never wanted toeven see me. My parents told me they knew 482/727
nothing about my birth mother nor where I came from. Apparently, they did know something…something important…and they had agreed to tell me everything after I turned eighteen. Why they chose a random night in December, I’ll never understand, since I had turned eighteen in June.
Happy Belated Birthday to Me.
Since last week, I haven’t told anyone about it, not even my boyfriend, even though I plan to tell him when I am ready. It just all hasn’t set in yet.
My parents have given me space over the past week and agreed that I didn’t have to talk about it again or do anything about it, until I was ready.
Tonight…I
just
want
to
forget
everything and I know just how I am going to do that: I am going to lose my virginity.
Even though I am a freshman atNorthwestern, I still live at home, in a nice 483/727
brick house in Naperville, a suburb of Chicago. It’s a commutable distance to school and more affordable than living at Northwestern. Mostly, my parents didn’t want me living in the dorms, for fear I would go buck wild. I still go to campus parties and sleep over friend’s dorm rooms, but my parents want to maintain some control over me, so they make me live at home.
My boyfriend lives on campus and sometimes I let him into my bedroom window at night after my parents have gone to sleep. Since my room is a converted garage and separate from the rest of the house, they can’t hear anything when he comes over.
Tonight’s one of those nights and I am waiting for him to arrive because I want to drown my sorrows in him.
There is one window at the front ofmy bedroom. Since knocking would wakeup my parents, he flashes a light in the 484/727
window when he gets here. Then, I open it and quietly sneak him in. That was our routine.
When I finally saw the light tonight, I eagerly ran to the window, opening it.
“You’re late, Cedric.”
“I know, baby…sorry, the guys wanted to get beers after class and then we ended up shooting pool,” he said before kissing me hard.
Every time he kissed me, I lost my mind.
My boyfriend is movie star hot with shaggy brown hair, light blue eyes and a sculpted athletic body. He was a popular senior and every girl’s dream and I was only a freshman.
We met at a campus party and I noticed all these sorority girls throwing themselves at him. Who could blame them? Then,he noticed me from across the room, singledme out and we starting talking as if all those 485/727
other girls evaporated into thin air. There was no one else in the room but us at that point. He made fun of my Chicago accent and I made fun of the way he didn’t pronounce some of his r’s because he’s from Boston. He says things like “Wicked Pisser”, except he’d say it like “Wicked Pissa.” He’s a little rough around the edges which, turns me on. I had never been with a bad boy before. He smokes, drinks, swears, starts fights and seems to adore me. I, on the other hand, am a shy Daddy’s girl, who says Gosh instead of God and well, who’s never had sex. We were opposites…but have been inseparable ever since that first night a few months ago.
Cedric’s been with a lot of girls beforeme, but he’s been patient. He’s used to girlsthrowing themselves at him and I think thefact that I didn’t give it up so easily is a bitof a challenge for him. He’s experienced butknows I am still a virgin and hasn’t 486/727
pressured me to do anything I’m not comfortable
with.
We’d
basically