I pulled back suddenly in the realization that this was wrong, morally wrong. What was more disturbing to me was that I didn’t want to let go, I didn’t want to allow my body to be removed from his hold. I didn’t want to look into his eyes and know that I would never see them again.
“I, I, I’m sorry, I didn’t meant to, um, soak your t-shirt.”
His snow white t-shirt was blotched with tears and smudged mascara. I didn’t even want to contemplate what my eyes must look like.
“It’s okay, don’t ever apologise for being upset. Are you okay?” His voice was soft, caring.
“Not really, but I will be, thank you for lending me your shoulder.” I let out a slight smile, trying to lighten the reality of the scenario, me being held in another man’s arms.
“I should really get back.”
“Oh right, you don’t wanna talk about it, we could get a coffee?” he said looking a little deflated.
“No, I am sorry, but thanks.” I sighed. “I should go”.
I reached for the car door handle. He stepped back allowing me the room to clutch the handle, his eyes never left mine. I pulled my car door closed and drove away from the car park. As I glanced back in the rear view mirror, I saw him standing there looking directly at me. My heart fluttered and my eyes held onto his image for as long as possible before he disintegrated into the distance.
Chapter 3
I put the key in the front door lock and wiggled it as I turned it. I really needed to get a locksmith in to fix that. I hoped that I had some time alone to process the day quietly before Henry arrived home. As I walked into the hall I glanced around taking my surroundings in. We had lived here for a little over a year. As I looked around the hall and wandered through to our lounge I realized that none of this felt like home, not to me. Everything was eccentric, ridiculously grand and far too expensive. Everywhere was cream or white with solid oak flooring scattered with the odd antique Persian rugs. Priceless art work adorning the walls. None of which I even liked, a splat across a canvas, that was not art to me. I was proud of my artistic streak and loved to indulge. It was the only thing other than Lucy that helped me keep my sanity through my mother’s death. When I moved into this house Henry allowed me to create a studio in the loft room, it helped fill my monotonous days of cleaning and wandering around aimlessly trying to feel useful. It was my serenity. I could sit there for hours, painting and musing. None of my artwork found a suitable wall to hang from in our home. Henry did not find my art work priceless enough for his walls. I felt a little like a child whose scribbles only managed to find placement of the refrigerator door, yet at least theirs were loved and their parents had pride in them. No, mine were just paintings which sat in my studio. Alone.
I walked along our split stair case and around the grand landing, looking at all of the doorways, six bedrooms. Why did we need six bedrooms? There was only the two of us and Henry was insistent that there would be no children in our near future. He wanted the next five years available to focus solely on his career and his company. I felt a little cold and lost in this big house. I reached the next staircase and climbed the fourteen steps to my loft room studio. This one single room was home to me. Colour filled the walls, memories of my life covering the canvases. The good and the bad. Images of frustration, emotional healing and lastly love. I sank into my chair, closed my eyes and let myself remember back to the happier times.
He looked at me with solemn eyes and cupped my face in his hands. I looked into his bright green eyes and my heart started to race. He had heard it, he must have, he must have known the reaction he was causing my body to have. Without hesitation he leaned into me, touching his lips with mine. His kiss was soft yet wanting. Every inch of me was alive with desire. I leaned into him pursing my lips and running my hands through his dark chocolate brown hair, the kiss turned eager, passionately sliding his tongue into my mouth and massaging mine with his. His breathing rhythm increased and without at first realizing it he was laying me back against his desk. For a moment he stopped kissing me and pulled his head away. Stepping back he looked at me, “I have to give you something” as he said it he reached into his drawer and pulled out a large brown envelope and handed it to me. Intrigued, I carefully peeled it open and pulled out the papers inside.
“Are you serious, my P45, your fucking firing me” I screamed at him. “What have I done wrong? I need this job.”
“No you don’t, not anymore” he said calmly.
His lips turned up at the corners smiling at me. I could tell he found my reaction humorous which enraged me further. Feeling confused and vulnerable, I opened my mouth to speak when he placed his index finger over my lips to silence them. Shit, I should have known there would be ramifications for sleeping with Henry, I just had not expected this. We were not official; we had just been having office fuckery fun for the past six months. There was no nasty break up of issues to work around, so why? Why was he talking my career away from me?
“I have a company policy to not date or fuck my employees; since you have ever so kindly let me delve into your sweet panties I now find it the suitable time to end your employment for my company. I do not expect my girlfriend to work in a workshop filled with men that want to have their wicked way with her.” I was dumbfounded, girlfriend? Henry and I had exchange mutual sexual relations but not in a million years did I expect him to want more of me than my body. What had just happened, all of these thoughts raced through my mind and then he kissed me again, sending the spiral of confusion completely out of my head. I let out a little squeal as the desire that ran through me was hard to control.
He smiled at me, “I have wanted you since the first moment I had laid eyes on you. You will be my wife one day Evie.”
A sense of euphoria surrounded me. I was twenty two, the man of my dreams wanted me, simple old me. Everything in my life was changing for the better, everything was perfect.
I awoke to the sound of the front door closing. I looked at the time and realized I must have fallen asleep, shit, it was 6.02pm and I hadn’t even started dinner. I was starving and my stomach agreed by letting out a rumble. I ran down the two flights of stairs as quickly as my legs would carry me. Henry was standing in the hall kicking of his black lace up loafers. That was the one thing I always found awkward about Henry, he never relaxed or wore sneakers, jeans were as casual as he got, but they were always teamed with a shit and loafers, always.
“Hungry baby?”
“Starving” he returned. I smiled and kissed him on the cheek. I walked into the kitchen and started to get the ingredients out of the fridge.
“Just jumping in the shower Evie” he called.
“Okay, I’m making a lasagne so it will be about half an hour,” Okay, time keeping isn’t my best quality, more like an hour.
“Okay baby” he called down the stairs.
I started to chop the garlic and onion, tossing them into the sizzling pan which was laced with olive oil. I flicked the stereo on and started to dance and hum along with the rasp of Ed Sheeran’s music, swaying and smiling.
I had just layered the lasagna and after a last sprinkling of parmesan, placed it into the oven when I felt his arms slide around my waist. The palms of his hands rested just above my pelvis.
“I love you baby”, he whispered softly into my ear.
“I love you too”, it came all too naturally, like a pre-embedded text which was returned all of his ‘I love you’s’.