We danced around the kitchen for what seemed like an eternity. Twirling and spinning, laughing and smiling. We were not the most co-ordinated pair of dancers but it was entertaining to see Henry try and move to the music.
“Oh wait, wait, wait, dinner!” I exclaimed.
I nearly forgot, my stomach would not be pleased if I managed to burn it. After the small salad at brunch and then forgetting to get my pain au chocolate I could not risk losing this dinner. I rushed over and grabbed the oven gloves, swung open the door and pulled out the tray.
“Phew”, I sighed.
“Disaster avoided baby?”
“Yes, thank goodness.” I make a mean lasagne and did not want to have to feed it to the bin tonight!
We sat around the table enjoying each other’s company, good food and a little tipple of wine.
“How was tea with Mother today?”
“Oh, um fine I suppose, she um, said I had put on a few pounds and ordered me salad”, I grimaced remembering her bitter tone.
“I am sure she didn’t mean it darling.”
“Perhaps”, I sighed. “Do you think I am fat?”
I knew picking with him about his mother was a losing battle. I would never expect him to choose her over me; she was of course his mother. It would however be nice if he happened to realize how much her comments upset me and considered discussing her remarks with her.
“Don’t be ridiculous, you know Mother, she doesn’t understand that it is nice for a woman to have curves.”
“Is that your way of saying I am fat then, you just happen to like it?”
“Evie, I am telling you this once only, you are not fat, end of conversation.”
The atmosphere felt dense and Henry’s eyes were focused down to his lasagne not willing to break the silence. I suppose I was being a little ridiculous, I didn’t have to ask him again when he had already said I was not fat.
“Lucy popped over this morning and then I cleaned the house.” I lied about the cleaning, but the house was always so impeccable that it barely needed doing. He wouldn’t have noticed.
I also purposely left out the details of the chance meeting in car park with the man who quite simply seemed to make my body quiver at the thought of.
“Oh yes, of course, Lucy is back, how was her expedition?” Henry seemed to relax, his body loosened and things were comfortable between us again.
“She had a fabulous time. Met a guy at the airport on the way home, of all the places. Oh that reminded me are we still ok for Alexis’ party tomorrow night? Luce is going to come to with her new flavour of the month.”
Alexis was my beautiful younger sister, she was fun, outgoing and exuded confidence. I hadn’t seen her in almost two months. Not since the last time Henry was away on business. He and Alexis are not exactly best of friends so Henry prefers me to spend time with him when he is in the country, rather than her. It is only on a rare occasion they will be in the same room as one another.
“Yes still ok for tomorrow night”.
“Great.”
I finished my meal and looked across at Henry I couldn’t help but smile and take all of him in. His very beautiful features. His autumn green eyes dusted with flecks of gold. His mop of unruly wavy dark brown hair, he was mine. I fell in love with him, I do love him; surely I can want to make love to him.
I finished off my glass of wine, and decided that I would make a conscious decision to make Henry know and feel as if he was wanted. I stood up and walked over to him and sat on his lap wrapping my arms around his neck. Leaning down I placed my lips against his and kissed him. His tongue entered my mouth instantaneously. Brushing and stroking mine with his. An eager groan erupted from the back of his throat. I kissed him back, running my hands through his hair. He cupped the back of my head with his hand and tilted my neck to give him better access. This was the first time we have kissed passionately like this in weeks. Something was missing. His tongue was swamping my mouth, barely allowing me any movement. Abruptly he pushed me back. He was still panting. I leant my head to the side, confused. He looked lovingly into my eyes and smiled. I followed his gaze and he brought it down to his hands. In it there was a box. Oh my god, oh my god. I am going to hyperventilate, shit, am I ready? Oh God, don’t do this, not yet, yes do this, this is what you need, what I need. A mixed array of questions and thoughts pouring through my mind.
“Baby, I love you, I have loved you from the moment I met you and I want to love you from now until eternity. You are my world, my sun, my universe and I couldn’t imagine one day without loving you,” he paused, building up the courage, “will you be my wife?”
I gasped, needing to inhale deeply to recover the lost air that had been drummed from my lungs. How could I not love this man? How could I tell him that I wasn’t sure after all of those things he had just said?
“Yes”
From the moment that single word had left my lips I had an unexplainable feeling deep down in the pit of my stomach and knew I should not have said it.
He took the huge diamond encased by platinum out of the black velvet box and placed it on my ring finger. I looked down at it and my heart ached with confusion. The ring was beautiful, a huge circular diamond, completely flawless wrapped in a layer of platinum. It was so smooth, so beautiful.
He swept me up in his arms and placed me on top of the dining room table.
“I love you” he whispered against my ear lobe. He laid me back and kissed my lips, his kiss ravishing and suffocating, his tongue invading my mouth. The release of this uncomfortable torture was a moment of relief. “You have made me the happiest man in the world”. His crisp white smile beaming down at me.
Relief short lived. He kissed and sucked on my earlobe, tugging it between his teeth, causing an equal balance of mild pain mixed with sheer irritation. He traced his tongue down the contour of my neck to my chest, stopping just above my breasts. My body shuddered under his touch. I knew it was coming. The inevitable. I knew there was no way of stopping this, I had encouraged him. I would have to force my body to openly oblige his entry into me. Perhaps if I gave myself too him I would remember how enjoyable our sex life once was and we could be happy again.
A tear slipped from my eye and dropped to the table. The unexplainable tear shed, mourning the loss for what we once had, or perhaps for the notion of his hands pulling and tugging at my body.
He unbuttoned my jeans and tugged them off along with my panties, throwing them to the marbled stone floor. There was no romance, no foreplay, no build up, no suspense. He wanted a fuck and that is what he was going to get.
Hard panting spilled from his mouth, something crossed between a wild animal and a man starved of sex. His tongue traced from my knee up the inside of my thigh. He blew gently over my sex and ran his tongue lightly over it, twirling, kissing and sucking. My mind couldn’t shut off, I should be enjoying this but I couldn’t. His tongue was invading a part of my body. The part I didn’t want him anywhere near. The awkward sensation of him kissing and licking the most vulnerable part of my body lasted all of thirty seconds, seconds which seemed like an eternity. Henry did this to make sure I was wet enough with saliva for him to enter me. It was the only purpose for him kissing me there, my body naturally refused to fill with liquid desire.
This was going to be the first time in two months he was actually going have sex with me and he was damn sure that he was going to get it, nothing was going to stand in his way. Not missing a beat he pulled down his trousers with urgency, releasing his huge cock which was impatiently standing to attention. Demanding its release. I tried to remove the thought of him entering me from my mind but it was no use, it was imprinted bitterly. Henry grabbed me by the waist flipping me over against the solid oak table. The firm push of his palm splayed my chest forcefully against the table top. Fusing my torso to the solid wood grain.