“Let me see,” Ollie says, grabbing the camera from me.
As he starts to laugh and Megan glares at me even harder, I feel a familiar tightness gripping my throat. I try to swallow but it’s impossible. I feel trapped inside the booth. Please don’t let this be happening again, I silently plead. But it is. A burning heat rushes through my body and I can barely breathe. The pictures of movie stars lining the wall all suddenly seem to be staring down at me. The music from the jukebox is suddenly too loud. The red chairs too bright. No matter what I do, I can’t seem to control my own body. The palms of my hands go clammy and my heart starts to pound.
“Ho, ho, ho!” the mechanical Father Christmas by the door calls. But he doesn’t sound cheery anymore. He sounds menacing.
“I need to go,” I say quietly.
“But what about the picture?” Megan whines, flicking her glossy dark hair over her shoulder.
“I’ll delete it.”
“What about your milkshake?” Kira says.
I take some money from my purse and put it on the table, hoping they don’t notice my trembling fingers. “One of you guys have it. I just remembered I have to help my mum with something. I need to get home.”
Ollie looks at me and for a second I think he actually looks disappointed. “Will you be in town tomorrow?” he asks.
Megan glares at him across the table.
“I guess so.” I feel so hot it’s making my vision blurred. I need to get out of here, now. If they keep me trapped in this booth for much longer, I’m certain I’m going to pass out. It takes everything I’ve got not to yell at Ollie to get out of my way.
“Cool.” Ollie slides out of the booth and hands me my camera. “Maybe see you around then.”
“Yes.”
One of the twins, I can’t tell which, starts to ask if I’m OK, but I don’t stop to answer her. Somehow, I make it out of the diner and onto the seafront. I hear the shriek of a seagull followed by a shriek of laughter. A group of women are tottering toward me, all spray tans on high heels. They’re wearing Barbie-pink T-shirts, even though it’s December, and one of them has a string of learner plates around her neck. I internally groan. That’s another thing I hate about living in Brighton—the way it’s invaded by stag and hen parties every Friday night. I dart across the road and head down to the beach. The wind is icy and fresh but it’s exactly what I need. I stand on the wet pebbles and stare out to sea and wait until the waves, crashing in and rolling out, coax my heartbeat back to normal.
Chapter Two
For most girls, coming home to find your mum posing on the stairs in a wedding dress would be a freakish occurrence. For me, it’s the norm.
“Hello, darling,” she says, as soon as I come in the front door. “What do you think?” She leans on the banister and throws out an arm, her long auburn curls cascading over her face. The wedding dress is ivory and empire line and has a border of lace flowers around the neck. It’s really beautiful but I’m still feeling so shaken up, all I can do is nod.
“It’s for the Glastonbury-themed wedding,” Mum explains, coming down the stairs to give me a kiss. As usual she smells of rose and patchouli oil. “Don’t you love it? Doesn’t it just scream flower power?”
“Mmm,” I say. “It’s nice.”
“Nice?” Mum looks at me like I’m crazy. “Nice? This dress isn’t just nice—it’s—it’s majestic—it’s divine.”
“It’s a dress, dear,” my dad says, coming out into the hall. He grins at me and raises his eyebrows. I raise my eyebrows back. I might look more like Mum but personality-wise I am much more like Dad—way more down to earth! “Good day?” he asks, as he gives me a hug.
“OK,” I say, suddenly wishing that I was five years old again and I could just curl up on his lap and ask him to read me a story.
“OK?” Dad steps back and looks at me carefully. “Is that a good OK or a bad OK?”
“Good,” I say, not wanting to create any more drama.
He smiles. “Good.”
“Will you be able to help out in the shop tomorrow, Pen?” Mum asks, looking at herself in the hall mirror.
“Sure. What time?”
“Just a couple of hours in the afternoon, while I’m at the wedding.”
Mum and Dad own a wedding-planning business called To Have and to Hold and it’s based in a shop in town. Mum started the business after she gave up her acting career to have my brother, Tom, and me. She specializes in quirky themes. She also specializes in trying on all of the wedding dresses she stocks—I think she misses wearing costumes from her acting days.
“How long till dinner?” I ask.
“About an hour,” Dad says. “I’m making shepherd’s pie.”
“Awesome.” I grin at him and start feeling a bit more human. Dad’s shepherd’s pie is amazing. “I’m just going upstairs for a bit.”
“OK,” Mum and Dad say in unison.
“Ha! Jinx!” Mum cries, kissing Dad on the cheek.
I go up the first flight of stairs, and past my parents’ bedroom. As I reach Tom’s room I hear the thudding beat of hip-hop. I used to hate hearing his music all the time but now that he’s at uni I like it, because it means he’s home for the holidays. I’ve really missed him since he’s been away.
“Hey, Tom-Tom,” I call as I walk past his door.
“Hey, Pen-Pen,” he calls back.
I go to the end of the landing and start climbing another flight of stairs. My room is at the very top of the house. Even though it’s a lot smaller than the other bedrooms, I love it. With its sloping ceilings and wooden beams, it’s really cozy and snug, and it’s so high up I’m actually able to see a dark blue line of sea on the horizon. Even when it’s dark out, just knowing the sea’s there makes me feel calmer inside. I light the string of fairy lights draped over my dressing-table mirror and a couple of vanilla-scented candles. Then I sit down on my bed and take a deep breath.
Now that I’m back home it finally feels safe to think about what happened in the diner. It’s the third time something like this has happened to me now and I can feel a ball of dread growing in the pit of my stomach. The first time it happened, I’d hoped it was a one-off. The second time, I hoped it was just bad luck. But now it’s happened again . . . I shiver and wriggle under my duvet. As my body starts to warm up, I have a random flashback to when I was a little kid and Mum used to make me a tent out of blankets to play in. I’d lie inside the tent with a stash of books and my torch and read for hours. I loved having a little hideaway from the world. I’m about to close my eyes and snuggle deeper under the duvet when I hear three loud knocks on my bedroom wall. Elliot. I throw off the duvet and knock back twice.
Elliot and I have been next-door neighbors our entire lives. And we’re not only next-door neighbors but next-door-bedroom neighbors, which is seriously cool. We invented our wall-knocking code years ago. Three knocks means, Can I come over? Two knocks means, Yes, come over right now.
I get up and quickly scramble out of my school uniform and into my snow leopard onesie. Elliot hates onesies. He says the person who invented them ought to be hung upside down from Brighton Pier by their shoelaces, but then Elliot is seriously stylish. Not in a fashion slave way; he just has this knack of putting really random things together and making them look great. I love taking photos of his style.
As I hear his front door slam, I quickly look in the dressing-table mirror and sigh. I pretty much sigh every time I look in the mirror. It’s like a reflex action. Look in the mirror—sigh. Look in the mirror—sigh. This time, I’m not sighing at my freckles and the way they cover my face like the speckles on a Mini Egg—I can’t really see them in the candlelight. This time, I’m sighing at my hair. How come when the sea breeze messes up Ollie’s hair it looks super-cute but when it messes up mine it looks as if I’ve stuck my fingers in a plug socket? I quickly pull a brush through my curls, but this only makes them go even frizzier. It’s bad enough that my hair is red—Elliot insists that it’s strawberry blond (it’s definitely more strawberry than blond)—but at least if it was permanently sleek like Megan’s that would be something. I give up with the brush. Elliot won’t care. He’s seen me when I had the flu and wasn’t able to wash my hair for a week.