Suddenly Watts tore away from him and swiveled in a drunken lurch, cursing as he tried to stagger away.
Addie frowned in disgust, having a low opinion of men who liked to drink until they couldn't see straight. Having no further interest in the scene, she headed toward the front steps. But a new note of concern in Ben's voice stopped her. "What in the hell's gotten into you tonight? I've never seen you this soaked."
Abruptly the cowhand's muttering disintegrated in a long groan of pain. Addie gripped the railing on the side of the steps as his mournful wail sent chills down her spine.
"Aw, Bennn… why'd she hafta do it… why… " Ben gripped him by the shoulders and shook him slightly. "Who? A lady-friend? What happened?"
But Watts merely buried his face in his hands, and Addie realized with surprise and a sense of embarrassment that he was crying. She wished she had gone into the house, wished she hadn't been a witness to his private grief. Slowly she crept up the stairs, wondering what could have made him break down like that. She couldn't make sense out of his sobbing, but Ben seemed to understand it. She heard the compassion in his voice as he murmured to Watts.
"It's not your fault. Dammit, you should've talked to someone about it before filling your guts with forty-rod. No, there was nothing you could have done to stop her…"
Addie reached the front door and turned the handle. She glanced back and saw Ben's arm slung over the other man's shoulder. It struck her then, how unafraid he was of other people's weakness, how ready he was to share his strength with someone who needed it. Most men would have shrunk from such a scene. But Ben wasn't afraid of emotion, or of being needed.
Her eyes stung as she stared at him. For the first time she saw him as the man he was, not as she had feared or dreaded him to be. Ben looked up then, becoming aware of her presence on the steps, and his brows drew together in a gathering scowl. He hadn't expected her to be there. Knowing he wanted her to leave before Watts saw her, she slipped guiltily inside the house and went upstairs to her room.
7
ADDIE PACED BACK AND FORTH ACROSS THE FLOOR OF her bedroom, high-strung and restless. When she was tired of pacing, she flung back the light covers on her bed and lay down, her body rigid as she stared at the ceiling. She could still feel Ben's hands on her… you belong to me … She could hear the rasp of his voice in her ear… I'd never hurt you …
Addie flopped onto her stomach, burying her face in her pillow. The hours crept by as she lay there, but sleep wasn't something you could force. Downstairs the sounds of the men's voices faltered and tapered off, and gradually there was silence. They had all retired for the evening. Sighing heavily, Addie sat up and combed her hair away from her face with her fingers. Her thin white nightgown was twisted around her from hours of restless turning, and she stood up to straighten it out. Then she heard a sound on the stairs, and her heart stopped with a jolt of fear. Her first thought was for Russell.
"Daddy," she whispered, and fumbled blindly for her robe, throwing it on hastily before opening her door. Since her room was close to the stairs, she had an immediate view of whoever was approaching. Her shoulders sagged with relief as she saw Russell climbing the steps, leaning heavily on Ben. Her expression was tinged with reluctant amusement. Russell was thoroughly drunk. With the slow progress they were making, it would take a long time for them to reach the top.
"I tellya we're gonna make… lotta money this year," he was saying to Ben, waggling his finger to emphasize the point. "Betcha it'll go up to eight or nine dollars a hunnred on the hoof-"
"If you say so," Ben muttered, nearly losing his balance as Russell stumbled on the next step.
"Thas' right… this year… cow's jumpin' over the moon…"
"Only if you start thinking about breeding some better animals with your damn stringy longhorns."
"Thas' right… I'm thinkin' 'bout that… Smart boy- "
"Thank you."
"But… you ain' been smart 'nuff t' go after my daughter. My Adeline. Don' you know she's the pretties' girl in Texas?"
Ben dragged him up another step. "Yes, sir." Addie raised her eyes heavenward. Russell was bound and determined to play matchmaker in his uniquely heavy-handed way.
"Then why haventcha…?" Russ demanded, gesturing with his hand and nearly sending them toppling down the steps. "She's sweet-tempered-"
"When she wants to be."
"Got everythin' a man could want-"
Addie couldn't keep from interrupting any longer. "Do you need some help?" she asked crisply, and both men looked up at her, Russell with foggy surprise, Ben with a familiar narrow-eyed glance. "You're going to wake the whole house up," she said.
Ben shrugged. "Russ just tipped the bottle one time too many. Thought I'd help him upstairs."
"You've done a lot of that sort of thing tonight, haven't you?" she remarked, going halfway down the stairs and taking her father's other arm.
Russell squinted down at her. "You're up late, honey," he said mildly.
"So are you."
With a great deal of sweat and effort, they managed to get him up the steps and into his bedroom, a small miracle considering Russell's condition.
"Thanks," Ben said as they helped Russell to the bed, where he promptly collapsed.
"What possessed you to think you could get him up here alone?" Addie asked, arranging a pillow underneath the slumbering man's head.
Ben grinned, going to the foot of the bed and pulling off Russell's boots. "Optimism."
"Simplemindedness," she corrected, peering at him suspiciously, as if questioning his judgment. "And just how much have you had to drink?"
"Why? Are you offering to tuck me in too?" Disconcerted, she turned and left the room, aware of his footsteps as he followed her and closed the door. Slowly she walked down the hall, refusing to look at him. Her heart began to beat faster as Ben passed the stairs and continued to follow her. "I'm perfectly sober," he remarked.
"I have no interest in your condition."
"Why are you up at two-thirty in the morning?"
"That's no concern of yours."
"So you couldn't sleep. I wonder why."
They reached her door and Addie stopped, afraid he was going to ask to be invited in, afraid of what she might say. She fortified her determination before whirling around to face him. He was unbelievably handsome with his black hair disheveled and his rumpled white shirt rolled up at the sleeves. Rapidly she tried to think of something, anything to say to forestall the question she knew he would ask.
"Ben, I wondered… "
"What?" He braced a hand on the doorframe behind her and rested his weight on it. She shrank back a little.
"What was the matter with that cowhand you talked to tonight?"
"Watts?" Ben hesitated, as if debating whether or not to tell her. "He went over to the next county to hunt down the truth about a rumor he'd heard about his sister."