Sorina sighed, keeping the simmering fury inside. She hated to be proven aright in this, but the Greek’s disease had taken hold of another close to her. ‘Put her from your mind,’ she advised meaningfully. ‘She’s just a Greek — not one of us, Catuvolcos.’
‘It’s not about where you come from.’ Catuvolcos sighed mournfully, full of beer-induced melancholy. ‘When two people meet, sometimes it is just meant to be. I am sure this is the case. Sorina, I have been with many girls but I have never felt this way before.’
He tilted the beer sack. ‘And I have not even lain with Lysandra.
It is just a feeling I have in my heart.’
‘She is an evil woman. She is heartless, and I would not see you hurt.’
‘No, she’s not heartless,’ he argued. ‘She just has a way about her. She’s special, Sorina, and it must be hell being put in a place like the ludus. With the type of women that we get.’
‘Thank you very much,’ Sorina muttered.
‘I didn’t mean you.’
Sorina forced herself to smile. What she must do was distasteful but necessary if the taint of the Greek woman was to be washed from Catuvolcos’s soul. ‘I know, I was joking. Much as Lysandra does about you.’ She could see that these words had penetrated the boozy fog that enshrouded the Gaul’s mind. He sat straighter, and frowned at her.
‘Lysandra does not laugh at me, Sorina,’ he slurred sternly.
‘That she does not love me doesn’t mean she despises me.’
‘No?’ Sorina turned her mouth down as if contemplating this for a moment. ‘You are wrong, Catuvolcos.’
‘What do you mean?’ The big man’s bleary eyes focused on her briefly before he again sought solace in the beer sack.
‘Well, I don’t want to speak out of turn,’ Sorina injected just the right amount of hesitancy into her voice, ‘but you must know she is only for women.’
Catuvolcos was stunned. ‘No,’ he admitted slowly. ‘I did not.’
‘Oh, yes. She and Eirianwen are quite the young lovers. They find your so obvious attentions very droll. It’s all over the ludus!’ she added vehemently. ‘All the women are laughing at you behind your back, because of this infatuation with the Greek. But it is Lysandra who laughs hardest. She has a need in her, Catuvolcos.
A need to control others, a need to have them at her beck and call. She finds it most amusing that you, a trainer, should be so smitten by her.’
Catuvolcos lurched to his feet. ‘I will speak to her on this,’ he declared with drink-inspired earnestness. ‘Where is she?’
‘With Eirianwen, I should imagine.’ Sorina was disgusted with herself but considered that she acted for the good not only of the young Gaul, but of Eirianwen too. She had not lied overmuch; Lysandra did indeed have a need to control others, like all of her goddess-cursed race. This was evidenced in her rise amongst her own kin, and now they all deferred to her. ‘I wish I could open Eirianwen’s eyes as I have yours, but she will not hear of it,’ she went on. ‘I beg you not tell her of my words, Catuvolcos. If she hears I have spoken against her lover, she will be lost to us forever. And Lysandra will ruin her as surely as she tried to ruin you. At least, if she and I are still friends, I have a chance of helping her.’
Catuvolcos grunted his acquiescence, swaying slightly on his feet, eyes staring straight ahead. ‘I will find her,’ he said, and stalked off, clutching the beer sack.
Sorina watched his broad back disappear through the crowd, her emotions a mixture of self-loathing and satisfaction.
‘Did you see my fight?’ Lysandra and Eirianwen had found a relatively secluded corner of the catacombs, and were sharing a sack of wine.
‘Of course.’ Eirianwen smiled. ‘I was with Balbus at the time.
He is beside himself with glee at your performance.’
‘But what did you think?’ Lysandra pressed, the need for Eirianwen’s approval suddenly urgent.
‘I thought you were wonderful, Lysandra. Truly, a brilliant display.’
‘Really?’ Absurdly, Lysandra found herself blushing. Eirianwen leant forward and kissed her softly, her hand briefly caressing Lysandra’s face.
‘You are a fearsome gladiatrix,’ she whispered. They gazed at each other for a moment, when the sheer banality of the statement became suddenly apparent to them both: Eirianwen sniggered and Lysandra’s lips turned up in a grin. The Silurian mimicked the blaring of trumpets that always accompanied a fighter’s entry to the arena. ‘You’re so scary!’ she added, tears of mirth in her eyes.
Lysandra gave her a soft punch on the shoulder. ‘You!’ she said, full of mock anger. She paused, gazing at Eirianwen. She was so beautiful, so perfect. Lysandra felt a sudden rush of love. She wanted to say something, but could not. It was not the Spartan way to blurt out soft words.
‘It is possible to speak your heart now and again, Lysandra.’
Eirianwen’s eyes met hers, their deep, blue gaze suddenly so wise and knowing; it was as if her thoughts were an open book to Eirianwen.
Lysandra felt herself colouring again. ‘I was just wondering if any of your tribe are as fair as you.’ It was a ridiculous question, but she was desperate to please Eirianwen and it was the first thing that came to mind.
‘Actually, no one in my tribe is as fair as me,’ Eirianwen replied.
‘Fair skinned, I mean. The Silures are dark — it’s funny but they resemble the Romans more than Britons. The truth of it is, Lysandra, I am not of the Silures at all. I grew up with them, yes, but my father was a druid of the Brigante tribe. The Brigantes are ‘typical’ of Britannia — tall, blonde and fair. Their queen, a traitor called Cartimandua, submitted to the Roman invaders and became their whore.’ Eirianwen’s eyes glittered with a malevolence that Lysandra had never seen before. ‘It was not the Druid way to treat with Romans,’ Eirianwen continued, ‘so my father took me far from Brigante lands to the west, where the Silures still fought the Empire. So I grew up as one of them, and it became my honour to call myself Silurian. In the end, my tribe was conquered by Frontinus — but at least we fought to the last. Not like the Brigante filth who capitulated so easily.’
Lysandra wished she had kept her mouth shut as this turn in the conversation had darkened Eirianwen’s mood. ‘I am sorry for asking such a question,’ she said. ‘It is just that it is difficult for me to say pleasing words.’
‘There is no shame in saying what you want to say, in showing a loved one how you feel. It is unnatural to keep all emotion locked inside you.’
‘It is how I have been taught,’ Lysandra responded sounding somewhat helpless even to herself. Eirianwen kissed the end of Lysandra’s nose, her mood seeming to lighten at once.
‘We, none of us, are what once we were. The ludus and what we do here changes us. It is a hard place most of the time, Lysandra. There is always a need for gentleness, especially between lovers.’
Lysandra swallowed, her mind racing — she must try again to say something that would evoke her feelings. There was a moment of silence, and then she spoke. ‘For some — it is horsemen; for others — it is infantry; for some others — it is ships which are, on this black earth, visibly constant in their beauty. But for me, it is that which you desire.’ When Eirianwen smiled in response, Lysandra’s heart leapt, but she knew not whether it was from relief or joy.
‘Did you make that up?’ Eirianwen asked. ‘It seems very you, with its infantry and horsemen.’
Lysandra hesitated. ‘Well… I… well. No, actually, I did not make it up. The poet Sappho wrote it.’
‘Lysandra!’ Eirianwen laughed. ‘You are hopeless!’
‘And I suppose you can quote the classics, Eirianwen,’ she shot back, but there too was mirth in her voice. The two women embraced, each loving the foibles of the other. When she had spoken the poetry to the beautiful Silurian, Lysandra had felt something inside her overflow, like the bursting of a riverbank.
For the first time, emotion coursed through her, unchecked and unabated. It was frightening, terrifying in its intensity. It felt unsafe, maddeningly uncontrollable; but she found that she would not let the feeling go.