‘I was busy,’ I said, ‘with the extra work and looking after him and getting away from him as soon as I could. I never thought about his revenge.’
Weeks had passed, he was back on his feet, using a walking stick, doing the chores he could and avoiding me as much as I avoided him. I just wanted things to be as they used to be, with me and Angel swimming in the sea every evening, hiding in our den. I didn’t see it coming.
‘Well,’ Queen Isabella said, rolling her eyes at me like I was the biggest fool there was, ‘what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.’
I came in from mucking out the pigs, covered in mud and shit. I dumped the potatoes I’d collected and said to Margaret, ‘I’m going to wash up then I’ll be in for supper.’
I glanced around the kitchen as I turned to leave. A reverend was there, but not the one from our local, and several others I didn’t know. Supper wasn’t on. I knew something must be up, but I thought it was just adult stuff and I’d do best to get out of there.
‘You’re not going anywhere, Luke. You’ll be staying right here.’
‘But I need to clean up.’
‘Sit,’ Tom said.
There was an empty chair right in the middle of the room. I shuffled over, thinking I was clearly in some deep trouble if they’d let me traipse through the kitchen covered in dirt and smelling like the pits of hell.
I hesitated at the seat, glancing at Margaret. They’d trained me well and I didn’t want to get dirt on the chair.
‘Sit, demon.’
I looked at Tom and sat. I saw John standing behind him, leaning on his walking stick, his hair slicked back like on Sundays for church. He smiled slightly. My chest tightened.
No one said anything. They just sat, impassive, staring at me. I looked from person to person, licking my lips. I looked over to the door, wondering if I could make it, but the group had closed in, forming a circle, blocking my exit. I waited for someone to say something and looked over at Tom and Margaret. Tom was holding my War Of The Worlds.
I frowned and said, ‘What’s this about?’
‘Hold your tongue, demon.’
I turned to the reverend who held a bible up at me. I thought, that John, he’s sank me down into a whole heap of shit. I eyed up the reverend to try and figure out who I was dealing with, but didn’t figure out much of anything. I squinted at his lap. There was some sort of dead animal on it. I couldn’t make it out until he shifted it a bit so he could put the bible on his lap and it was then I could see. It was Monsta, all broken up. It was then I lost sight of trying to figure out the situation, like David would have said. ‘Sit back, Goblin. Assess the situation, figure it out, then act. You’re too impulsive, and that’s gonna get you into all kinds of trouble one day.’ Up until that moment I’d thought that pretty good advice, even if I didn’t always heed it, but now for certain was a time for war. ‘Goblin,’ I could hear David say as I stood up like a piston and kicked back my chair, ‘there’s never a time for a war.’
I lunged for Monsta but didn’t get near, everyone likely thinking I was about to eat that reverend’s soul or whatever it is that demons do. I didn’t stand a chance. I was pinned to the floor, yelling, sobbing, ‘Monsta, Monsta!’ but I think they thought I was casting some demon spell because pretty soon there was an old rag shoved in my mouth and tied tight with rope right round my head. Then it was my arms and my legs and there I was all parcelled up, and up up up I went, the demon ascending, raised on a throne of bony old hands as they took me to the attic room.
Holy holy holy lord have mercy trap trap trapped in chains in ropes bound in bound down lord have mercy christ have mercy hear us o lord o god the father have mercy on us in the shadow of this cross pressed down bound down bound in holy mother holy virgin of virgins have mercy have mercy sisters and saints the holy holy martyrs the angels above all holy angels o blessed revelation angel in holy holy water drip drip dripped in chains in ropes bound in bound down holy patriarchs and prophets saint john the baptist no head hahaa hahaa saint sebastian punctured and bled and bled in rivers of red deliver us from evil deliver us from deliver us from evil ring the bells saint agatha hahaa cut off cut from and bled and delivered from evil you have no power over me bound in bound down unclean spirit unclean unclean I command you the children of god the child of god this child of god blessed be blessed be glory glory glory the way the light the truth I cast you out from this creature of god devil begone no devils here not here no devils never to return no devils no devil amen.
‘There’s rabbits,’ he said, his face right up against mine. I stared at the ceiling, at the peeling picture of the Virgin Mary.
‘There’s rabbits, five of them, down in the larder, hanging, waiting to be eaten. I shot them and I hurt them until they died. Every one. I can tell you all about it. Would you like that? Would you like me to tell you a bedtime story?’
I closed my eyes and drifted on dreams of Angel and the sea.
‘Devil worshipping scum,’ he said, and spat in my face. His saliva dribbled down my cheek.
‘I’m the favourite now,’ he said.
‘Luke, they’re not giving up on this. They believe you’re possessed. Are you listening? Can you hear me?’
I rolled my head to the side and looked up at Miss Hallows.
‘You need to repent. Do you know what I’m saying? You need to repent.’
She gave me a drink and helped me sit up. I stuffed bread in my mouth.
‘Not too much, you’ll be sick. Luke, they think you shot John.’
I did shoot the son of a bitch.
‘They showed everyone the devil you made. John said you were going to bring it to life. He showed them your scribblings in those blasphemous books – cannibalism, shapeshifting, worshipping serpents.’
‘Lizards,’ I said. ‘Lizard people.’
‘They think you’re evil.’
I was born blue. Dirty little goblin-runt.
‘You’re not getting out of here until you repent.’
She meant it. I hadn’t figured it out until she said it. She was on their side. They were tired, they were weary. They wanted me pure.
‘I’ll bring the reverend,’ she said, ‘and this time you have to repent.’
She was gone and Isabella was there holding the heart, blood dripping between her fingers.
‘You can’t be here,’ I said. ‘You’re in London.’
‘Do you remember your prayers?’ she said.
‘I remember.’
‘You can’t fake it.’
‘I don’t have to,’ I said. ‘You need to leave. The reverend is coming.’
I was demon child covered in shit and piss stained in pig pig piggy shit and piss stinking and stinking and rotting. The stench of evil tied in ropes tied down in the attic on a bed in the attic with mary and jesus and the cross for friends all stuck on the wall eyes on me and in my mind in my closed eyes the revelation angel of the sea far away drifting as the reverend in the attic was all rat-a-tat-tat! Begone begone holy holy holy rat-a-tat-tat london rat bound down cross pressed close down hard bruised down rope shapes cross shapes body bruised body razed body bound down bound in behind the eyes floating in the sea with the revelation angel drip drip drip devil begone amen. No devils here, sir. No devils ever again. All gone all clean all pure.
Margaret untied me. Tom was behind her, carrying a tin bath, a bath for me to make the unclean clean. Inside outside scrub scrub scrub. She peeled off my clothes and I thought, shit, this is it – no more Luke all gone all gone, a Miriam instead? A Holy Holy Holy Virgin Mary? An Esther, whatever you please, who am I to choose? She didn’t say a word, but turned her head away sick with the stench of me and lifted me into the water, scrubbing and scrubbing turning red turning the clean and pure water black with sin.