“So…you love him?”
“Love him?” she asked with a giggle. “We have a baby together! Of course I love him. I’ve never loved anyone more.”
“But how did you know?” Bryna asked.
“That I loved him?”
“Yeah.”
“Oh, wow. No one has ever asked me that before.” She looked up thoughtfully contemplating the question. “I don’t know really. I can’t place it exactly, as if there were a moment when I didn’t love him, and then suddenly, I did. I couldn’t go a day without thinking about him. I always smiled at the thought. I stopped being able to imagine a life without him in it, and I was okay with that. I just knew. There was no going back.”
Bryna looked at Celia with uncertainty. How could it have been that easy? Nothing is that easy. She had put so much effort into all of her relationships, and they hadn’t panned out at all. If love is effortless, then how am I supposed to find it?
“Okay…”
“You know you don’t have to find love at eighteen.”
“Almost nineteen,” she reminded Celia.
“Yes…almost nineteen either. Look at me. I didn’t find it until I was almost forty!”
“Hmm…that’s true. Thanks.”
“Anytime, Bryna.”
Bryna stood and reached down to lightly pinch baby Zoe’s cheeks. She had a lot to think about. “You’re cute, little missy. You must have gotten that from me.”
Celia laughed. “Probably. She’s lucky to have a big sister like you.”
“Maybe I’ll come see Zoe again.”
“I’m sure she’d love that.”
Bryna and Celia shared a smile.
On her way out, Bryna shook her head in confusion. She’d had a completely civil conversation with her stepmother, and it hadn’t been terrible. Actually, it had been perfectly normal. She had no idea what had just happened.
“How was my little girl?” her dad asked once she was outside the room again.
“Good. I think she probably wants to see her dad though.”
He smiled brightly and then rushed back into the room. It was as if he were twenty years old again. Zoe had reenergized him just like Celia had when they got married. Why didn’t I see it before?
“So, you like the baby.”
Bryna turned around in a rush and saw Pace walking toward her.
“I’m surprised,” he continued, “that you came back from your vacation for this. After you were so adamantly against it, I didn’t think you’d show.”
“Yeah,” she said. She didn’t have it in her to argue with him right now.
“Aren’t you going to gloat?”
“About what?” she asked.
“Barcelona? This strange life you’re leading?”
Bryna arched an eyebrow. “No. There’s nothing to gloat about. I’m glad summer is almost over. How is Stacia?”
“You’re asking about Stacia?”
“Yes. I miss her,” she said plainly.
Pace softened at the mention of Stacia. A rare genuine smile touched his lips, replacing his typical sneer. “She’s good. She misses you, too.”
“So, you’re still together then.” She had suspected as much since she hadn’t heard from Stacia at all. She had only heard about Stacia through Trihn.
“We’ve been together all summer. She lives here in the city, you know.”
“Right. Her dad is the USC coach.”
“Her dad is…something,” he said uncertainly. “A bit controlling.”
“I’m not surprised. Has to be hard to try to control all that wild child in her.”
“Yeah. She’s fun that way.” He smirked.
There’s that asshole again.
“Ew. I can’t. Gross.”
Bryna walked away from him. She’d thought they were working toward a civil conversation, too, and then he had brought that shit up.
“Hey,” he called, following her. “Do you think you could talk to her?”
Bryna narrowed her eyes, wondering what the catch was. “Why?”
“She’s still upset that you’re mad at her. I don’t like to see her like this,” he admitted.
“I’m not going to talk to her because I care about what you say. Let’s make that clear.”
He nodded.
“I’ll do it because I care about Stacia. You just happen to be associated with her at the moment.”
“Fine.”
“Fine!”
Bryna left the hospital lobby and took a cab back to her father’s house in the Hills. She dropped her luggage in her old room and stared around with a small smile on her face. It felt surreal to be back home. She hadn’t been back since Thanksgiving, and she hadn’t even realized she had missed it.
She had been missing a lot these days. Like the truth behind her parents’ divorce and how Celia and her father had gotten together. She had blamed it all on Celia. It was the easiest thing to do. But after what Celia had said at the hospital, Bryna wasn’t sure what to think. Maybe she had just been taking out all her anger on her stepmother. Either way, she had lost her mother, but that didn’t necessarily make it Celia’s fault. That revelation softened Bryna’s resolve for a minute.
She shook her head. She couldn’t deal with all of that today. Maybe her family was a little less fucked up now. It was an improvement. Something to think on later.
Right now, she needed to talk to Stacia.
Here goes nothing.
“Bryna!” Stacia yelled into the phone. “Oh my God! You’re calling me! From Barcelona!”
“Actually, I’m in L.A.”
“What? I didn’t know you were back.”
“Yeah. I actually got back into town this morning,” she said. “Do you think we could meet up? I want to talk.”
“Oh. Oh, yeah. Sure. Um…I’m at the beach in Santa Monica actually with some friends from high school. You’re welcome to join us if you want. Of course, if you’d rather me leave and come to you, I would totally understand that.”
“No, Santa Monica is fine. I haven’t driven in a couple of months, and I’m dying to use a stick shift again.”
Stacia laughed. “I would say I get that, but stick shifts and I do not get along.”
“You’re missing all the best cars then.” Just the thought of taking one of her dad’s cars out on the road made her skin tingle with excitement.
“I’ll let someone else drive me around in them.”
Bryna shook her head. “Typical. Anyway, I’ll be there soon.”
Even though she hadn’t spoken to Stacia in months, it had been so easy to fall back into their normal banter. Bryna wasn’t entirely sure what she was going to say to Stacia about Pace, but she couldn’t keep putting it off. She wanted her friend back, and they needed to work out their differences. They couldn’t do that through a wall of silence.
She threw on a bathing suit and then walked out to her dad’s garage. Her hands skimmed over the row of beautiful cars, yet her eyes were drawn to the cherry-red Porsche 911 GT3 convertible. It handled like a dream and her father would kill her if he knew how fast she took it out of the house. But it wasn’t supposed to be locked up. It needed to be set free.
The drive to Santa Monica wasn’t long enough for her taste. She might need to drive up and down the Pacific Coast Highway to release some more of her pent-up energy.
The valets were salivating at the chance to drive the thing. She tossed the keys to the guy who would have the pleasure.
“Don’t hurt my baby,” she said.
He nodded, awestruck, and she walked out to the beach. Finding Stacia took a bit of time, but eventually, she located her friend’s enormous hot-pink umbrella that gave Stacia’s position away on the beach.
Bryna stripped out of her tank top and stuffed it into her oversized Dolce bag. One of the guys sitting next to Stacia nudged his buddy next to him when he saw Bryna. They were both ogling every inch of her Spanish sun–kissed skin.
Stacia didn’t seem to notice as she sprang to her feet and rushed toward Bryna. “You’re here!” She pulled Bryna into a big hug. Stacia dusted sand off of her and motioned for them to walk down the beach. “I’ll be right back,” she called to her friends.