On her way back to the apartment, she texted Eric.
Let me know when you’re home.
She didn’t receive a response, and she hadn’t thought she would get one while he was occupied. The wait was endless. She was glad that Trihn was at Neal’s that night, and Stacia was cramming for a test with a friend from her class. All Bryna did was pace relentlessly and check her phone over and over again.
It dinged, and she jumped out of her skin.
Home.
She sighed in relief. She wasn’t sure if he would actually respond. It didn’t matter that it was just one word. She would take it.
The drive across town felt endless. She was so jittery that her stomach was doing flip-flops, and she couldn’t keep her legs from bouncing.
She pulled up to his place and saw his Jeep in the driveway. She jogged up to the front door and knocked twice. He never answered the door, but she figured she would try since they were on such uneven ground. A couple of months ago, she would have walked in and been having margaritas with him without even thinking about it.
When Eric didn’t answer, she pushed open the door. The downstairs was empty. Only the hall light was on.
“Eric?”
“Up here,” he called from upstairs. “Give me a minute.”
She took the stairs two at a time and walked into his room to find him coming out of the shower in a plain white towel. His hair was wet and messy. There was still that dewy shine to his toned body. She couldn’t help but look.
“Oh…”
“Are you just going to stare?” Eric asked when he noticed her watching him in the doorway.
“Should I not?” She arched an eyebrow.
“I guess it depends on what you’re doing here.”
“Margaritas?” she joked.
Eric rolled his eyes, unamused. He grabbed some clothes out of his drawers and threw them into a pile. “I’m going to change. Let’s get this over with when I get back.”
“Okay,” she whispered.
It only took him a second to change in the bathroom. He dragged a towel through his wet hair and then hung it up on a hook on the door. His hair was still tousled, and she reminded herself she had no right to touch him. She was in the wrong, and she needed to make this right.
He crossed his arms over his chest. “Let’s have it.”
“I broke it off with Cam,” she said in a rush.
“And?” he asked.
He didn’t even look surprised. Maybe he had been expecting that. Had he known I was going to do it even before I had?
“And…I’m here.”
Eric shook his head. “It doesn’t work that way. You can’t jump ship and expect me to welcome you back with open arms.”
“I know.”
“I’m not really sure you do.” He leaned back against his dresser. “You being single doesn’t change or excuse your behavior.”
“You’re right.” She held her hands up in defeat. What she had done was bad, and she didn’t blame him for being pissed at her. “I deserve your anger, but will you let me explain?”
“If you think you have a good enough explanation for the past couple of months, then go ahead.”
Bryna took a deep breath and let everything go. She couldn’t keep holding this in and pushing him away. She couldn’t be scared anymore.
“I thought a fresh start was what I needed after Hugh.” She looked down at her feet. She hated this part. “You know, I thought he was married and that we were just having a good time. I thought we were on the same page. But we weren’t. He wasn’t married. Actually, he wanted to marry me.”
Eric sucked in air through his teeth. Their eyes met, and she nodded. Yep. Sounded as horrible out loud as it had back in Barcelona.
“He wanted to marry me, and I was playing him. I’ll never forget the look on his face. I broke his heart.”
“Jesus.”
“I was Jude,” she gasped out. “I tricked Hugh into loving me, and for what? A million dollar house, some jewelry, and a few trips?”
“That house was worth a million dollars?” Eric sputtered.
She nodded. “Yes. I sold the house and tried to return the money to him. He sent it back to me without a note. In either case, everything with Hugh wasn’t worth it. The money wasn’t worth hurting him.”
Bryna sat down on the edge of the bed and tried to judge Eric’s reactions. She knew him well, but he was guarded. He wasn’t ready to let her back in. She didn’t blame him.
“So, I stopped. I pumped the brakes and said fuck it. I was going to leave the Queen Bee behind. Cam was an opportunity to forget all of that.”
“Because he didn’t know you,” he accused.
“You’re right. He didn’t. He thought I was someone else completely. I wanted him to think I was this other person. I wanted to fool myself into believing it. But you made me realize that I couldn’t. So, I went to dump him tonight, and I guess Pace had filled Cam in on the old Bryna.” She shuddered at the memory of him pushing her back into the couch.
“God, does everyone listen to what Pace has to say? I can’t believe anyone would believe a word that came out of his mouth.”
“I know. Trust me.”
“We’ll see about that,” he said.
“Yeah. So, then, he tried to force himself on me.”
“What?” Eric cried. He pushed himself away from the dresser in a fury.
“Yeah. When I told him no, he accused me of playing games with him.”
“Fucking prick. Just the thought makes me want to go over there and murder him.”
Bryna smiled at his reaction. Eric was pissed at her for everything that had happened, and he still wanted to pummel Cam. That was a good sign.
“I don’t think you could get away with murder.”
“He should feel lucky then.”
Bryna shrugged. She despised what Cam had tried to do, but she had already ended everything related to him in her mind. “I wasn’t trying to play games with him, but he was right. I was. I was with him—”
“I don’t need to hear this.” Eric turned and walked away.
“Not physically. We never did more than kiss.”
He looked back at her in confusion. “Really?”
“Yes.” She sighed. “I was with him, but my heart was here with you.”
“You can’t come over here and say that shit to me,” Eric said gruffly.
“Why? It’s the truth,” she spat. “You asked me why I pushed you away. At first, I thought it was Audrey. As hypocritical as it sounds, I felt like you lied to me by sleeping with her.”
“That does sound hypocritical.”
“I know. But when I came back to school and saw you, my world exploded in the middle of this transformation. I was scared and stubborn and refused to admit it.”
“Admit what?” His eyes begged for more.
“You know,” she whispered.
“No, I don’t. You think I’m going to let you off the hook without finally admitting your feelings for me?”
She narrowed her eyes. “Look, I’m trying here!”
“You’re not trying,” he cried. “I’ll tell you when you’re trying!”
“Don’t yell at me!”
“You put me through the ringer. You rejected me over and over again. You can’t walk in here and finally explain everything that happened this summer and think it’ll all be okay! It doesn’t work that way.”
“I know that! I don’t think it works that way. Fuck!” She jumped up and paced away from him. “I’m trying to talk to you.” She held her hands out in supplication.
“Then, keep talking because I don’t see how this pertains to me at all. You fucked up with two other guys and pushed me away. That’s all I’ve gotten from your little story.”
“You’re going to make this difficult, aren’t you?”
“Yes. I said make it good.”
Bryna took a deep breath and slowly let it out. She needed to get her thoughts under control. This wasn’t going at all how she’d thought it would. Not that she had expected Eric to fall at her feet. He had sworn he would never be that guy. She didn’t want him to be that guy. She just needed to lay it all out there.