Charly didn’t respond to his tired joke. It seemed she hadn’t even heard. He drummed his fingers quietly on the tablecloth, growing impatient. No more jokes. He wouldn’t even try to lighten the atmosphere, if that’s how she wanted it. ‘You said we needed to talk,’ he said. ‘So, let’s talk.’
‘Yes, let’s talk,’ she said. ‘But perhaps we could mention the elephant in the room. Are you going to apologise to Guido?’
Was that all they were here to talk about? The fucking grinning man? ‘Yes, for God’s sake,’ he said, louder than intended. ‘I told you I would on the telephone. Is that all you wanted to discuss?’ He was taken aback by his own aggression, but she wasn’t making things any easier.
She stubbed out her cigarette and fumbled around in the carton, almost pulling out a replacement before pushing it back inside. Her coldness was a mask, he realised. She was more nervous, even, than him. He wasn’t sure if that was a good or a bad sign.
‘Sorry,’ he said. ‘I know I messed up. Maybe that’s why I’m acting so annoyed. It won’t happen again.’
This time Charly did take another Juno from the carton, while Rath drew on his Overstolz. Let’s have a smoking competition, shall we? he thought, but understood that whatever she wanted to discuss would not be good news. He was expecting the worst, but wouldn’t just give up. That much he could promise already.
He gave her a light, and she looked at him with an expression that broke his heart: tentative, questioning, uncertain. What was wrong with her? Something was weighing heavily. Surely she didn’t want to…?
The waiter burst into the silence with the drinks. Even he seemed to realise something wasn’t quite right. When he disappeared again Rath raised his glass in such a way that it wasn’t clear if he was toasting her health or not. The wine was fine, the temperature just right. He took another sip. Charly smoked quickly, without touching her Selters.
‘You’re right,’ she said. ‘Let’s not keep on about this Guido business. We have more important things to discuss.’
Rath watched his worst fears become reality. That was how he would have started if he’d wanted to draw a line, but that wasn’t what he wanted, damn it! Not what he wanted at all.
He kept looking at her mouth, waiting for the next sentence, not daring to breath. She seemed to find it difficult to say what she had to say. The silence lasted an age, and Rath feared he might suffocate.
‘You remember Professor Heymann,’ she said at length. ‘Criminal law. My supervisor if I ever do a doctorate.’
Rath only vaguely remembered, but nodded anyway. The legal world, all these academic circles, had always felt alien to him. He had picked Charly up from the odd meeting and run into a few professors or classmates in the process but, apart from the grinning man, he couldn’t remember a single face. If Heymann was who he thought he was, then he must be pushing sixty, perhaps even seventy. Rath felt his mouth grow dry. What was this? Was she about to confess to a relationship with her former professor?
‘Heymann made me an offer,’ she continued. ‘I wanted to discuss it with you before I decided, but after last week…’ She lit a new Juno from the old one. ‘Today I accepted.’ She stubbed out the smoked cigarette. ‘I’m accompanying him to Paris for six months. An international research project. Territorial jurisdictions of criminal law.’
Only now did she sip her mineral water.
Rath waited for more, but nothing came. That was her news. Charly wanted to go abroad with her professor for six months. Nothing more and nothing less, and harmless in comparison with what he had been expecting.
‘Paris is nice,’ he said simply. What a stupid comment, but it didn’t matter anymore. He felt a weight lifted from his shoulders, simply falling away from him.
‘Is that all you have to say?’
He stubbed out his cigarette. ‘When?’ he asked, but he might just as well have asked ‘how’ or ‘why’ or ‘how many?’ It was pure chance that his response made sense. He could barely think.
‘Next semester. I’d have to leave in September.’
Suddenly, even the wine tasted better. He had been expecting the worst and, against that, half a year didn’t seem nearly so bad. He’d get through it.
Instinctively, he felt for the little package in his inside pocket. As good as her news was, now wasn’t the right time for the rings. Could he really propose now, when she was about to disappear for half a year? How would that look? Celebrate their engagement, then pack his fiancée off to foreign parts? With another man! He could imagine the gossip, the well-meaning advice. His parents alone would…
‘Say something!’
She was expecting an answer.
‘Wonderful,’ he said. ‘That means Weber and the Lichtenberg District Court can go get knotted, right?’
Charly laughed uncertainly, and he realised that a weight had been lifted from her too. ‘I’m not sure I’d put it quite like that, but you’re right. A joint project with Heymann means I can kiss goodbye to preparatory service in Lichtenberg.’
‘Then it’s the best thing you can do.’ Rath waved the waiter over and ordered a bottle of fizz. ‘We have to make a toast,’ he said. ‘Why didn’t you tell me before?’
‘I… I didn’t know what you would say. I didn’t know what I wanted myself.’
‘But now you do.’ For once Rath felt comfortable in the role of sponsor.
Charly nodded.
‘What about your old dream of joining CID? Are you giving that up in favour of an academic career?’
She grinned broadly. ‘I could start in a year’s time as a police cadet, without the preparatory service. I have Gennat’s word.’
‘When did this happen?’
‘When I was with Nebe and Lange last week, in the Castle.’
‘You didn’t tell me about that either?’ She shrugged. ‘Congratulations,’ he said. ‘Buddha doesn’t make that sort of promise to just anyone.’
‘Thank you.’ She stubbed out her cigarette, and, at last, didn’t light a new one. The air was thick with smoke.
‘Good news all round,’ Rath said. ‘That means in a year from now, you’ll be back in the Castle.’ He smiled, and he didn’t even have to strain. ‘I wonder who’ll be showing you the ropes. I’m getting my first taste with a cadet right now. Maybe at some point Gennat will entrust me with the more problematic cases.’
‘Pardon me?’
‘You’d have to show a little more respect for authority…’
‘You show me the ropes?’ She feigned indignation. ‘You should be so lucky! Besides, I wouldn’t be a cadet in Homicide, but G Division. Might I remind you that I’m a woman.’
‘So I’ll apply for a transfer.’
Charly laughed in that unbridled way he adored. She was so loud other people looked across at them. ‘Sorry,’ she said. ‘I was just picturing it.’ G Division was the women’s CID.
‘What will we do while you’re away,’ he asked. ‘Will we see each other for the occasional weekend?’
‘Paris is a long way away. I won’t get back to Berlin very often.’
‘What about Cologne? That’s half way.’
He said it without thinking. His home city didn’t evoke good memories in Charly. Or, for that matter, in him. They were silent for a moment. Fortunately the waiter came with the bottle of champagne and took their order at the same time. Charly, who had been sipping like a canary on a diet, had brought her appetite. They clinked glasses.
‘To us,’ Rath said, hoping he hadn’t taken things too far. He was pretty good at misreading situations, above all situations that involved Charly, but she raised her glass and gave him a blissful smile.