“Can’t you call Lorelei and ask her what to do?” Jason offered.
“I can’t,” Alex said, scratching his head in embarrassment. “I would’ve already, but I don’t have her cell phone number.”
“What about the angel chick?”
“What am I gonna do, walk away from here with a cardboard sign saying, ‘Rachel, I need you,’ and hope I get far enough for her to see me while you guys stay here with this douchebag?”
As he spoke, Rob groaned. He had just slipped the headphones half off against the floor. “I know what you’re thinking. Go ahead and kill me, it won’t matter,” he said, spitting out blood. “Shoot me, run me over, drop me off a bridge. Soon as my spirit gets back to Hell, I’ll tell everyone. Everyone. See how much peace and quiet you and that bitch get after that.”
“Oh, well, now y’all’re just goading us, asshole,” Wade huffed. He looked to Alex. “Can’t we take him to a priest and exorcise him or some shit?”
Rob laughed bitterly, but then stopped when Alex said, “Lorelei said holy ground is bad for demons.” Everyone noticed Rob’s sudden attempt at not reacting. “Just gotta find a place that’s actually devout.”
“What happens there, Robbie?” Drew asked. Rob didn’t answer. “Nothin’ good, looks like. So where do we go?”
“Does it matter what religion?” Jason asked.
“I don’t think so,” Alex said, shaking his head. “I think it’s more about the faith than the religion or whatever.”
“You’ll never find a church pure enough in this town,” Rob hissed.
“No reason not to try,” Wade said. “Can’t bring him in my truck, though. We’ll get pulled over for sure if y’all ride in the back.”
“My car won’t work, either,” Jason frowned.
Drew promptly put his knee into the small of Rob’s back and began patting him down. He pulled out a wallet and keys. “This looks like an SUV.”
Wade took charge from there. He had everyone pull off their belts to put together restraints, then got the dismembered parts of Rob collected into a trash bag. He scrounged up disposable latex gloves from the kitchen and got everyone to wear a pair. Together, they hauled the battered and wounded demon to the front of the pool hall, unlocked the door, and drug him out to the only SUV in the parking lot.
Jason took the driver’s seat with Wade riding shotgun. After folding up the back seats, Drew and Alex pushed Rob to the floor and took up spots on either side of him.
As Jason hit the ignition, the Escalade’s stereo blared:
“Sweeeeet Caroline!”
(bam bam baaammm!!)
“Good times never seemed so good!
“I’ve been inclined
“To believe they never would!”
Jason quickly found the stereo controls and shut it off. Four pairs of shocked, horrified eyes looked down at the demon on the floor. “Tell me that was just a radio station,” Drew managed.
“No,” Jason breathed in fright. “That’s a playlist. Neil Diamond is devil music.”
* * *
Rachel’s breathing grew heavy and deep as she fought to keep her eyes on the stars. She didn’t know why she would just stand still like this. She felt vulnerable before a woman whom she could bounce down the street like a basketball. One hundred eighty-eight.
“I have seen your eyes upon me, Rachel,” Lorelei whispered to her closely. She stood behind the angel, a few inches taller and seemingly older despite the marked disparity in power. “The three of us are bound together. Alex and I have found such joy in that bond. Such intimacy.” Lorelei’s quiet, seductive voice at Rachel’s ear was joined by fingers that gently combed through Rachel’s scalp just past her temples, pulling wet hair over her shoulder. The angel closed her eyes and shuddered.
“There is no reason why you should not share in that joy,” came slow, soft words directly into Rachel’s ear. “I no longer serve Hell. I serve Alex. I do whatever I can to make him happy. You yearn to do so as well. We need not be enemies…we could become very close. I promise you that would make Alex happy, too.
“But first you must explore your feelings for him,” Lorelei finished. “With him.”
Lorelei’s lips were dangerously close to Rachel’s neck. The angel murmured something. “What was that?” the succubus asked.
“One hundred eighty-nine,” Rachel hissed.
“You might consider other things you might do with me,” Lorelei suggested softly.
“Ffffourty-three,” Rachel let slip.
Lorelei smiled. “And with Alex,” she added.
Rachel nodded, almost in a trance, but then her eyes snapped open. “I can’t see him!”
* * *
“This is my life from here on out,” Alex thought aloud as they drove.
“Huh?” Drew asked.
“This. Last night. Probably gonna have things like this happen all the time from here on out. They both said, once you have a run-in with the supernatural, chances are it’ll keep happening. I’m gonna have to deal with one black-hearted piece of shit after another.”
Silence reigned in the Escalade until Jason said, “Cool.”
“Not cool,” Alex snapped. “What if this is what’s in store for you guys now, huh? What if one of you gets hurt?”
Drew shrugged. “Take my chances.”
Wade twisted in his seat. “Ain’t like we couldn’t have cut and run on you back at the pool hall if we’d wanted to, man. You don’t see us bailin’ out now, do you?”
“No,” Alex said. “I don’t know what to say.”
“Say thank you,” Drew suggested.
“Thank you.”
“You’re welcome. Now quit trippin’. This is what friends are for.”
“Hey, Alex,” Jason piped up. “The angel chick? Rachel? Is she smokin’ hot, too?”
“Yes.”
“So you’re wrapped up in a fight against evil with two smoking hot women glued to you and your buddies along for the ride? Dude. You’re like a Joss Whedon show, man.”
“I am not,” Alex replied.
“You totally are.”
“Jason, stop it. I’m serious.”
“I’m just sayin’.”
“Jason,” Wade broke in, “y’all realize that if he’s a Joss Whedon show, at least one of his gals has gotta get killed off in some climactic moment for no other reason than to punch up the drama, right?”
Jason caught Alex’s less-than-amused glare. He fell silent. “Like he said,” Wade finished, “not a Whedon show. Turn up here.”
“Episcopal?” Drew blinked.
“Yeah,” Wade nodded. “Good as any. I know some nice Episcopalians.”
“You don’t know for sure that this particular congregation is devout, though,” Drew frowned.
“Ah don’t. We’ll find out in a sec, I imagine. This don’t work, we go look for a different church. But ah figured this’d be a good place to start.”
Rob began to twist and roll violently, foaming at the mouth from behind his makeshift sock-and-duct-tape gag. “I’m guessing that’s a good sign,” Alex mused grimly.
Wade pulled up the hood of his sweatshirt, jumped out of the Escalade as it parked and ran up the steps to the front door.
“Hope there ain’t a night watchman,” Drew fumed.
“Doesn’t look like,” Jason gulped. “This is a nice neighborhood. Shit like this doesn’t happen here. Who breaks into an Episcopal church?”
“People who don’t like Episcopals,” Drew shrugged. “I’m just sayin’ this is some fucked up shit.” His expression softened as he glanced at Jason and Alex. “Not that I’ve got any better ideas.”
Alex was out of ideas, too. He glanced around the SUV and noticed a sleek briefcase pushed under the passenger’s seat. He pulled it out and twiddled with the latches until it popped open. Inside sat files and a few snacks, along with what looked like old, leathery parchment with words written in red ink.
“Ohmygod,” Alex blinked. “Are these…?” he looked at Rob and yanked the headphones off his head. “Are these contracts? Are these deals you’ve made with people?”