Shit, I think I’ve been staring…
“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to intrude or anything, I got up for a drink and… well, I heard you crying, and I just wanted to make sure you were okay.”
She’s hugging her chest, maybe feeling a little vulnerable, and probably paranoid about her towel dropping or something. She smiles. “I’m fine, honestly. I just… I had a moment, and everything got to me. But I feel better after a good cry.” She shrugs. “It’s a chick thing.”
I laugh. “Yeah, okay. Well, as I said, I’m here if you need to talk. Not many people can even comprehend the shit you’ve been through in the last couple days, let alone take it in their stride.”
“Thank you. But I’ll be okay. How are you doing?”
“I’m alright. Tired, but I’ll be fine. I think I’m gonna take off after Dubai. I don’t know what’s gonna happen, but if I get the chance to start over again, I’m going to find a little corner of the world somewhere and hide in it.”
“That sounds… lonely.”
I shrug. “It’s for the best. I have a habit of endangering the lives of people I care for. You can attest to that. It’s a consequence of the life I’ve led, and I can’t change that. Best thing for me to do is stay out of people’s way.”
“So, are you saying you care for me?”
I scratch absently at the back of my head. I suddenly feel a little awkward. “Well, I mean, we’ve been through a lot together. I don’t want to see you hurt, obviously. And you’ve lost so much because of me. I just…”
She takes a deep breath and steps closer to me. She looks up at me. She has blue eyes… I’ve never noticed that before. “Adrian, my job requires me to stay detached from my clients, and not become personally involved. But that went out the window, literally, when my office was destroyed by… an RGP? Is that right?”
I smile. “RPG. It stands for rocket-propelled grenade.”
“Ah, right. Well, one of those. From that moment on, my life was in your hands. And I was scared. I was angry that you had come into my life and turned it on its head. Then I realized it wasn’t your fault. Not directly. It was… fate, I suppose. You needed me, and when I found myself exposed to this… this whole other world that you live in, I quickly realized I needed you, too. I’ve been watching you. How you deal with things. How you think about things. Having already had some insight into your mind, watching you face the things we’ve faced — head on, without question or hesitation — our sessions made a lot more sense to me. I saw you, the real you, for the first time. I know you’ve done some terrible things. And I’m sure you’ve done much more that I don’t know about, but… deep down, Adrian, when you strip away this exterior, this uniform of an assassin that you wear… you’re a hero. You’re… my hero.”
She steps in closer, so her body’s resting against mine. She steps up on her tiptoes and kisses me softly, tentatively, on the lips. I can smell her natural scent, mixed in with the fruity essence of her shower lotion. I don’t kiss her back. I remain upright and tense, scared out of my mind.
She moves away again and looks at me. Her mouth is slightly open, and she’s breathing a little heavier.
Me too, actually.
“Look, Kaitlyn, I… Everything you said, it means a lot to me, honestly. But I can’t open up to you if I’m involved with you. I know I won’t be able to, because I won’t want to expose you to that side of me.”
She shrugs. “You said yourself you’re leaving after you deal with The Order. It’s unlikely we’ll have another session.”
Huh… fair point.
She turns and paces idly toward her bedroom door. “I don’t know what it is. Maybe it’s the adrenaline… maybe I’m not thinking straight, trying to deal with trauma I don’t understand… I just know that…” She turns back around and stares at me. I see a fire in her eyes that I haven’t seen all that often in anyone. “…I want you.”
She moves her hands and allows her towel to drop to the floor, revealing her still-wet body.
Holy crap!
Her work clothes really didn’t do her any justice. She has a pretty well-defined frame. Her stomach is flat and toned. Her breasts are modest and firm. Her hips are narrow and her legs are long and shapely.
Goddamn… What do I do now? I mean, I—
She walks back over to me, puts both hands on the bottom of my T-shirt and starts to pull it up over my head.
I don’t think there’s anything I can do to change what’s about to happen.
I lift my arms, and she peels it up and over my head, discarding it on the floor. She takes my hand and leads me into the bedroom. She doesn’t turn on the light, so I’ve no idea what the room looks like. We stand by the edge of the bed and she turns to face me again. She snakes both hands around my neck, pulling my head down and kissing me with much more passion and ferocity than before.
All doubts and fears quickly leave me. I wrap my left arm around her waist, and she jumps up, wrapping her legs around me. I hold her in front of me as we lose ourselves in the moment. As we put all the shit we’ve been through in the last two days behind us. We forget the world… forget everything. Right now, it’s just her and me.
I walk around the bed and lay her gently down on it.
I’m suddenly not feeling all that tired…
27
I feel consciousness washing lazily over me. The bright morning sun shines in through the vertical blinds and hits my face. I roll onto my back and let out a long, slow breath, allowing myself to embrace just how relaxed I feel right now.
What a night. I feel like I’ve slept for days.
Kaitlyn and I… we, ah… we… had a nice evening together. I barely felt all the cuts on my back as she…
Y’know what? Never mind.
I look to my left.
I’m alone.
She must be awake already, making coffee, or breakfast, or something. That would be nice. I smile to myself for a moment, but it soon fades. I get flashbacks of Devil’s Spring… of Tori making me coffee and breakfast… of me lying in bed, happy…
I put my hand on my face and rub my eyes.
Leave it, Adrian. Don’t ruin something great by thinking too much.
I swing my legs out of bed and step into my shorts. I stand tall and stretch. Man, even my usual aches and pains aren’t bothering me today. Maybe I should get…
I smile to myself and look down at my tattoo.
WWJD.
What would Josh do?
Josh would say there’s no maybes about it — I should definitely get laid more often!
I pad out of the room and into the kitchen. She’s not here. There’s no sign of any coffee or breakfast, either. I frown and walk into the lounge. She’s not here, either.
“Kaitlyn, are you alright?”
I can feel myself starting to worry. My mind instantly defaulting to the paranoia I’ve been trained to live with. But I stop myself, take a deep breath… and another… and relax. That’s something Kaitlyn taught me. A technique for dealing with the onset of my spider sense. Or what she initially referred to as an anxiety attack, although that was before she knew the real me. But, even so, the technique helps. Just stopping for a few seconds and taking a breath helps you calm down and see what’s really happening, not what your anxious mind is telling you.
I take another breath…
She’s probably just gone out to get some breakfast, that’s all. Bottom line is she’s safe now. I need to stop thinking she’s not, just because I’m here. Neither of us is on The Order’s radar anymore. I have time to figure out how to deal with them.